July 25, 2005

Scientists have found the world's oldest dildo. Proof that women have had trouble finding an adequate man for 28,000 years.
posted by Weezel 19 years ago
  • What was the last piece of the puzzle, that they couldn't figure it out?
  • discovered in the Hole Feels Cave? You have GOT to be kidding me.
  • Actually, that's the world's oldest vibrator (2 AA slaves not included) and was used solely to relieve tired and cramped muscles, or so my wife would have me believe.
  • Or, perhaps, proof that extremely unattractive women existed millennia ago!
  • mecurious, your explanation makes me feel much better about my manhood. Not that I ever would have said that on the front page, mind you
  • It may also have been used to knap, or split, flints 'Tis like a Swiss Army knife...
  • The prehistoric "tool" was reassembled from 14 fragments of siltstone. Hahaha.
  • Ok, I waited for someone else to do the obvious, but you've failed. So: This dildo..um...it DOESN'T vibrate???
  • "In addition to being a symbolic representation of male genitalia, it was also at times used for knapping flints," Just like my penis! "There are some areas where it has some very typical scars from that," he told the BBC News website. Mmm hmm, mmm hmm, my penis... "It's highly polished; it's clearly recognisable," said Professor Conard. Yes, go on, still my penis... ...it was only with the discovery of a 14th fragment last year that the team was able finally to put the "jigsaw" together. IT'S LIKE A BIOGRAPHY OF MY WANG.
  • "Tool of a Different Class - Hangin' in the Middle"
    - this searing account of the life of one the World Wide Web's most famous wangs left me with a tear in my eye (after reading the graphic account of a particularly harrowing flint-knapping session that left our hero's manhood in 14 pieces).
    "Like being socked with a rock cock" - Mofi Review of Books
  • MiddlePaleolithicTool?
  • Ok, I waited for someone else to do the obvious (cough)... I thought I was being obvious
  • Does this not count the one that the Catholic Church kept hidden for years in the Pope's ass?
  • could be for prostate stimulation too, girls don't have to have all the fun.
  • I just know that there's a Cher/Gravel joke lurking here somewhere.
  • My, that would be cold in winter.
  • Abiezer wins.
  • I sense a new Tool of the Week ™, MCT.
  • Was there a link, Ralph?
  • But, but... isn't it clearly circumsized?
  • ...well ya see, it was my first day with the thin flint knapping...
  • That's just another...harpoon, she said pointedly.
  • I surmise that, millennia down the line, a fossilised Wii-mote will be identified by archaeologists as an ancient dildo, complete with cylindrical eggs inside.