July 17, 2005

• *worried frown* Did I lose my shirt? (so to speak) Great pictures and idea.
• Koko approves! (((
• *admires the cunning of squidranch!*
• um... Is a naked guy going to dance in all of the shirts before they're sold?
• Whos that sexy barstid wif the shades?
• awwwwwwwww
• Cunning Squid - Stunning Quid
• The conning-dogs have ye outnumbered, squid!
• I'm bringin' reinforcements!
• Cute kid! Is that Squid Jr.?
• Does it come with the kid? 'Cuz I don't think we can both fit into the same t-shirt.
• Nah, the kiddo is our fearless leader's wee one. You'll have to work out with her the price for the little bugger. Cheeky monkey.
• I love it! Four bids already, looks good. Brilliant idea, squid.
• That's really cool, squid! Wonder if it'll be a monkey or non-monkey who wins the bid....
• I just ran the bidding up. Better get over there and out bid me. Do it for our Hairy Bretheren.
• Can I get a puppy as well with the shirt.
• My God, he's selling Ethan!
• The bastard!!
• How does one ship an Ethan?
• It's not that eathy.
• Hey Squid, I think Ebay's a great idea, since that's a good way of keeping track of orders and payments, but I was wondering if it might be possible to take even more work off of your shoulders? Perhaps we can try Cafepress or Zazzle? Mainly, I was thinking, with Ebay, you'll still have to do all the production and distribution, and we don't want you to have to stuff packages and wait in the post office for hours and to have to pay out of pocket until you receive the payments. Also, since Ebay will take a cut, it will end up unnecessarily inflating the cost (however slightly) for all of us Monkeys. If I remember correctly, Cafepress and Zazzle has some kind of option where we can just sell the shirts at cost without profit - but if not, I think it'll be reasonable to donate it to Tracicle or the Gorilla Foundation. But mainly, the great thing is that it takes care of all the ordering, production, and shipping - so really, much much less work than the previous set up. What do you think? Just trying to lighten the workload here...
• I just had an unpleasant thought, which in the spirit of the new more-flinging fewer-bananas MoFi I will share with the studio audience. You know how when you pick out something completely excellent from the Victoria's Secret catalog, how once your package arrives, all you get is some stupid women's underwear? Well, what if this ends up just being some scam to sell a T-shirt on eBay? Kind of like the "Serving Suggestion" picture on a can of Dinty Moore beef stew. I'm just sayin'.
• Wanna buy some holy water, kid?
• Rasparticle, I think we all decided long ago when considering quality options on t shirts that the cafepress and zazzle printing was kinda, well, crappy. I went through the process of printing these at a real silkscreen shop for the quality and durability. I really didn't mind the packaging since the LA monkeys came over in a group and we made a party of it. The drag was the wait in line and filling out the forms at post office and also the people complaning that they didn't get their shirts in time, but with eBay each individual person can choose to pay for whatever shipping option they want. If they want to pay more for expedited shipping, then so be it, if they want to pay for the slow boat method, that's their choice. Through eBay/Paypal, the labels and the postage are automated which would make the shipping VASTLY easier. I would just have to print the labels, and pop them in a mail box. And, rather than sell finished shirts like this auction, we could make it a fixed bid, monkeys can choose whatever size they want and pay for it. We would wait to get all the orders and $$$ and then have them printed. Last time I had to float some cash to get them printed before Tracicle send me the money order from NZ. But, if you all want to do the zazzle/cafepress "iron-on" quality, dat's cool with me. It would be easier, just kinda chintzy.
• Fuck that for a game of soldiers.
• Here's the deal, Squid: You stop the emotional blackmail of descriptions of poor little Timmy, and we stop the whining about the inefficiency of the post office. Agreed? Yes, we're heartless bastards who obviously care nothing for Timmy, but on the other hand, we are bumping up your feedback on eBay.
• I'm with you, Squidranch, those CafePress shirts are crap. If you're going to go the eBay route, I might recommend using the mighty USPS Priority Flat-Rate Envelope for shipping. $3.85 to anywhere in the U.S., $9 to most international locations, 2-3 day turnaround domestic, 4-6 days international. Best of all, the envelopes are free! You can go to your local post office and pick up an armful, or go to usps.com and order as many envelopes as you need, for free, delivered to your door (also for free). If you're doing global shipping, be sure to get a supply of Global Priority Flat-Rate envelopes, and a big stash of those little white-and-green customs forms. (I'm PRETTY sure a t-shirt would fit in one of the flat-rate envelopes. But you might want to try stuffing one in there before ordering all the stash!)
• Thanks for clearing that up, Squid. That makes a lot of sense. It's just that this whole t-shirt thing seemed so all consuming that I'm surprised you'll even subject yourself to it again. May I also suggest adding tracking as a defacto part of the shipping for the next run? It's only an extra 50 cents, and you'll have to e-mail people their tracking numbers, but it seems like a small price to pay to deflate the anxiety of wondering where the shirts are, and take the burden off of you as the information hub.
• It would be interesting to see if it were possible to convey the graphic stensil data to printing firms in the target continents in pure digital form, thus cutting down further on costs.
• Alternatively, we can send the data to a third world country, have it printed for a mere couple of American dollars per t-shirt, and then have it redistributed around the world. If they're sent individually, we might be able to avoid customs cost, as opposed to doing it in bulk. I have relatives in China who do that for a dollar a day, actually...
• Cousin ras, I've told you to stop pimping us out like this. It's two dollars a day now. We need to save for a new buffalo to plough the lower paddies next year.
• I like Chy's stencil idea. That would be so cool to see the variations on a monkey theme. Even just to have a stencil image that monkeys could print out and go nuts on a tshirt with would be snazzy.
• Cousin Abiezer, If I do not pimp you out, who will? If we demand two dollars a day, the western capitalist pigs will only take their work to Shelby Village further inland. Now please do not tarnish the family name and dishonor our ancestors by asking for living wages. I fear the Kowloon curse may be heading northward...
• Dudes, I actually was semi-serious about that third world country thing... I know some people in the Philippines...
• Outsourcing is cool as long as no kids are involved.
• Heck, instead of paying £7.95 for a bottle of Adobe Spray-On Photoshop Mud, I'd just toss together my famous mudpie recipe and slop it on your car for a mere $.50. My mudpie recipe is backyard-famous.
• Oop...heh...wrong thread. I'm a dope. Where's that 2X4? *whack whack whack*
• Rasp, I never said I'd subject myself to dealing with this t shirt thing again, but whomever wants to take the reins would benefit from my experience, I reckon.
• zyzelle: Hey, no prob. Let me help you with that. *whack whack whack* Feel better now?
• Hit harder, I think we're getting somewhere... Are thoe my IQ points scrambling out the door?
• squidranch, I think your comments regarding the onerous aspects of being tee-shirt-meister have made it most unlikely anyone's going to volunteer to take over that little headache from ye. ref. hoist on own petard
• Yeah, Squid: You have to do it, now. I'm not sure anyone has said this yet: the MoFi tees are possibly the best quality printed t-shirts I have ever seen.
• Skrik: They are, they are. They're fantastic! *goofy grin*
• Okidoki. But I reserve the right to use the LA monkeys as my minions. They will do my t shirtmeister bidding. AHHAAAHAAAHAAAA!!!! Let's wait a couple of months and if someone wants to resurect the t shirt competition, I'll do my bit. Perhaps we might want to do it as an annual thing with the year printed on each version of the shirt?
• That's a brilliant idea squid, and I'm happy to be a minion in LA!
• Rasp, I never said I'd subject myself to dealing with this t shirt thing again, but whomever wants to take the reins would benefit from my experience, I reckon. My bad. I had thought differently, based on this exchange . You know, where Skrik suggested we do things differently and you insisted that we do it the same. I wrongly thought you meant you wanted to be in charge again. I hope beeswacky and Skrik didn't jump the gun on volunteering you for the t-shirt again. Your enthusiasm is great, but let's not forget the amount of stress and fatigue this business has caused you over these three months. We haven't. Thank you for giving us the benefit of your experience. Your detailed accounts of the various difficulties this process has caused you will ensure the next Monkey won't make the same errors. I, for one, hope that I never have to care for a child whose only joy is derived from voyeuristic user pics. Too bad he doesn't understand that not everyone wants his or her photos online. Some people might find it creepy, which would just end up confirming their concerns. Waiting a few months is a great idea. Perhaps mid-January? The immediate demand has already been satiated, and since users are continuously joining, we might as well wait and give new members a shot. I'd be more than happy to spearhead the next round of t-shirts if it were going on right now, but unfortunately, I can't commit that far ahead of time.
• Cool. You got the job rasparticle.
• Hmm. wait. It's in 6 months. What if ras is pregnant then?
• I did the job while I was pregnant. Ras can too.
• Heh. That's it? I think you may be mistaking pregnancy for that giant stick up your ass. It's next January. Let's cross that bridge when we get there.
• Ras, as opposed to the random mofi member from, say, Australia, you might want to keep in mind that I actually see you from time to time and don't take kindly to talk of giant sticks in my nether regions. Capish?
• WHY MUST EVERY FUCKING THREAD HERE END IN SOME KIND OF ANAL SEX???
• sheesh, what's up his ass?
• Shhhhh Koko, Squid doesn't want us talking about the giant stick!!
• See Ras, Suomynona can be an annoying jerk and I can't do anything about it. But I know where you live.
• Would this be a bad time to request kittens, or anal massage in the Fenlands, or something? Also, I'm deeply impressed by the question on the eBay auction: "Will you have more of these for auction later? Other colors?"
• No, it would be a good time. It's just that I'm not very often accused of having a stick up my ass, especially when I have no idea why. Ras is a somewhat impetuous young nerd. Perhaps he was trying to be funny. I wouldn't reccomend quiting the day job for a stand up career though.
• Never mind all of that. It's time to resume hatin' on 'hipsters' [NYTimes].
• Hey, squid- I expect the reference was to squid on a stick, and not completely meant as a swipe at you, comprenez?
• That looks revolting. And I love seafood.
• Squid, buddy, I think at least most of this was all meant in fun. I understand you're frustrated and upset over the fallout from this whole shirt thing, and I empathize, but I think you might be taking this a little too close to heart. 'S'all good. For those who didn't mean it in fun, fuck 'em. You done your job, and you done it well. Have a beer on me.
• What's going on?
• Too easy. Since you're looking a response, here it is: I'm sorry that you don't have your youth anymore. That I still have mine is not a fault. Maybe all that wit is being reserved for the screenplay. Yeah, you know where I live - that's just... so predictably… male. No idea why? After the debacle that was in this t-shirt thread, it was obvious that you were in over your head. Your own protestations indicate that it does you more harm then good. All I'm trying to do is save you the embarrassment of an unnecessary remake. I'd gladly do it, but my life is not mundanely predictable and ever unchanging. If I could make the January commitment, I would. Then again, you're right. I'm young, not middle aged. Up till now you could have gracefully responded to any of my comments, which, if firm, were certainly fair. As to other matters of grace, the idea behind volunteerism is that you give something of yourself without expecting anything in return. Sometimes you give more than you expected. When you keep reminding people of the favor you've done them and otherwise make them feel obliged with your emotional blackmail, then you really aren't giving anything of yourself at all. It’s duplicitous. As for the hints of physical intimidations – what do you gain from it? This display of machoism is just... if you'll pardon the alliteration - masochistic. It just invites more abuse. “Oh no, I got outwitted online! But I know where you live. Hint hint.” Is that clear enough for you? Signed, Impetuous Nerd, with his Youth and Glad of It. PS: No Capish. Capiche?
• Ras, We were all having fun here until you had to piss in the pool. I'd like you to point out where I didn't gracefully respond to your comments. If anything, I was being self-depreciatory. Telling someone else they have a stick in their ass isn't "outwitting" them. It's just being a little cunt. What I wanted from shipping the shirts was to have people show themselves with their shirts on. What I was hoping to do is to create a thread where people post themselves in interesting places with their shirts on. I don't think my desire to have them do so is "creepy". And I was NEVER over my head. It was a pain in the ass, true, but nothing I, or anyone else couldn't handle. We have met more than once and you been over to my house and have experienced my hospitality. I am frankly surprised you are being such an ass. I have been more than generous with you. So now we know where we stand. And I wasn't making idle threats. You have the mouth Ras, let's see if you can back it up. Is that clear enough for you?
• Fuck me Squid. He wrote words. Whatever you think of that, no threats of violence please, and certainly nothing real. Let's be men here.
• Can we all take a deep breath and think of kittens for a moment? Do a couple of sun salutations and shake it off? Read the Happy Times? Tell me something good and maybe less worry, more happy? PS: Spiderman thinks U R all ghey and he'd like you to know that the last three links have sound.
• Buddha is very unhappy right now.
• Everybody listen to mandyman, she's a terribly wise monkey. It really concerns me how cranky it's been here lately. I mean, c'mon! We've met in real life - gotten drunk - for fuck's sake we were in a chick tract together! Don't make me bring out the daily kitten. NOW EVERYBODY BE NICE. And that's final! /mom rant
• I know where both of you guys live, and I got me a whole bunch of sticks in every color and size. Don't make me bring them over and stick it to you! Unless you like that kind of thing.
• I'd go on some sort of Gandhian hunger strike in protest, but I'm skinny enough as it is. Therefore, I hereby declare that I'm on an "alcohol strike." There will be no yummy hangover-inducing libations for me until this matter is resolved. And since I'm certain no one wants to be responsible for my continued sobriety, I'd appreciate it if y'all would kiss and make up.
• #1 rule of shirtclub - Don't fuck with the squid Screw it. I'll do the damned shirts next time.
• Anyone for a weiner-based, pseudo-cephalopodic snack?
• I am indeed saddened tracicle. May my beloved monkeys recall that Right Speech is a part of the Noble Eightfold Path.
• MonkeyFilter: I wasn't making idle threats
• MonkeyFilter: Buddha is very unhappy right now
• *hugs mandyman, tries to start a round of "Give Peace a Chance* *ducks flying beer bottles, returns to alcoholic blur*
• *tries to hold hands and get along* *gets a cigarette burn to the palm instead* *wonders why no one appreciates the time she took to hunt down an animated sun salutation gif* *watches said gif and giggles again*
• Dammit, I go away from a thread when everything's cool, and I come back to a dick-fight. First of all, a thank you or 2000 ain't jack for the amount of work the squidy put into this project. I know how easy it is to armchair manage something, and I know how a project that should take 45 minutes expands to 4-5 hours. On the other webbed foot, I have also had to stifle that tiny voice that wants me to think that the ungrateful hordes don't fully understand the committment in blood and tears that I've made to a particular project. Second of all, putting your photo on the intarweb in a shirt is not a requirment, so chill. Some of us put photos out there all the time, some of us have one or two on Monkey posts, and some of us wear bags over our heads and are never photographed, especially at family holidays. Whatever clicks your kodak. Lastly, as of about 20 minutes ago, I was still high bidder. nanananana I'm going to get that shirt for a song!
• And the rest of us are going to see what squid bought and sold lately! :-)
• *Takes Deep Breath. Counts to Ten. Thinks of Kittens. Does Sun Salutations.* "OW MY FRIGGING BACK!" *Does an hour of Cardio on the Elliptical instead.* Dances to super techno disco version of "Give Peace a Chance." Bom Bom Bom Bom Bom Bom Bom. *Rehydrates.* Mmm. Water.
• I'm guessing that's a half assed attempt at an appology? Ok, I'm in. I'm over it, no big deal, etc... This is a cheap lesson for you Tony. That what you say has consequences. Not everybody is an anonomous name on a computer screen.
• What grace.
• Does this mean no one gets a time out?
• Guess not. Damn, and my trigger finger was itchy too. Now I'll just have to scratch it instead.
• Oh, I see.
• * low whistle.
• As promised.
• Squid, that is a big-ass file o_O I've made a PDF version of it. If you want it, just email me, and I'll send it along.
• Ha Ha! I won the t-shirt. I won the t-shirt. bananer-naner-naner You cheap barstards.
• Alnedra, it loads super quick for me. If anyone else has trouble with it, I'll have you send it.
• I was startled when I saw "koko_receipt", but then I remembered. Heh. Good show, squidraunch!
• koko, you might have come upon something accidentaly. squid-"raunch." Sounds like me on a weekend bender in Tjuana. As a matter of fact, who wants to join me?
• soft good cat cat!
• *applauds*
• koko, you might have come upon something accidentaly No accident, I'm guessing.
• Nope.
• Squidgonchies
• Islander, could you have that filled and delivered to my apartment?
• Here ya go, Squiddy. Expect a knock on your door soon.
• Arrgh! My eyes, my eyes!
• *falls off chair*
• Gah!
• Yummy, and he's christian.
• You people are just wrong!
• Wrong is too mild a word...
• It's all in the delivery, flagpole. *briefly reconsiders, hits 'post' anyway...*
• The goggles! They do nothing!
• jimminy jillickers!
• It's not nearly as scary as some Speedos I've seen. And it has Jeebus' blessing, so what the hey. Enjoy, squiddy!