July 15, 2005

• So irresistable it's okay to double dip? *shudder*
• *digs finger in navel* *pulls out intermingled wad of lint and sloughed-off skin* *sniffs* Not so bad! Damn, just gave away the fact that I have an "innie"
• Why is it that as soon as I read this, I pictured Jessica Simpson doing an impression of Angry Kid?
• If someone touches my belly button, I will punch them. Just thinking about it makes me feel like puking.
• Well, dang- I just spent all my money on anal bleach. Anybody know if you can use that stuff on your belly button?
• If someone touches my belly button, I will punch them. Just thinking about it makes me feel like puking. Well, um, you may want to talk to a therapist about that.... I just spent all my money on anal bleach. If someone tries to put bleach on my anus, I will punch them.
• Great, something else to sell to the already over-sexualized lip-gloss age group.
• gotta go with jccalhoun on this one. Let's go punch Jessica Simpson.
• Chocolatey paunch holes is all good.
• MonkeyFilter: Just thinking about it makes me feel like puking.
• Ok, then, I'm not the only person who will punch people who touch my belly button. Seriously, it HURTS to do that. Always has. My sister is the same way. It feels...viscerally AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. I've had romantic partners try to consider it an erogenous zone and get literally an involuntary kick. Good to know my sis and I are not alone in this.
• the new frontier in erogenous zones...the belly button! If I cannot fit my penis into it, then it is a frontier that will go largely unexplored by me.
• I hear it smells like PepsiBlue!
• Mmh. It's one thing to touch, to gently feel that sensitive area... another is to poke and insert a finger in it, that can be quite painful (even when oneself does it, i.e., washing all those 'hidden recesses' during a shower, like we were told by our mums). If I cannot fit my penis into it, then it is a frontier that will go largely unexplored by me. You should really expand your horizons, mct. It's not all about poke poke jab jab...
• I'm sorry? I couldn't hear you just then. My penis was screaming at me.
• I once made a sexy lady cum by kissing her navel erotically.. with tongue. This was in public too.
• 'Course I was thinner and sexier then. Still ugly, though.
• I'm creeped out that there exist people creeped out by there own belly button. That's like being creeped out by your own elbows or shins. Me and some friends had a belly button measuring contest. I totally lost. One friend had a belly button deep enough to completely conceal 3 M&Ms. Totally gone, you could look at him and not ever guess he was hiding 3 M&Ms in his belly button. Note that he was not fat, big-boned, or whatever. He was pretty damn thin, actually. Not gaunt, but almost. He just had a bellybutton that was two pinky knuckles deep. Another friend fit 11 M&Ms in one nostril. He had brightly colored for hours afterwards, as he kept blowing his nose trying to remove them all. You can't do this kind of stuff when you're bugged by your own body.
• I have to concede that, even when done with utmost care, sneaking part of a finger in there does feel... creepy, at least for me. Some primal fear, I guess. Another friend fit 11 M&Ms in one nostril. Nostril? :)
• So does it smell like fish, or chicken?
• Can I get it in semprini.
• Can I get it extra strength? Because my belly button really reeks.
• I like my belly button, but I literally feel sick if either I or someone else jams anything in there too far. It feels like someone poking me on the inside.
• Well, there's another deoderizing routine the French will likely refuse to comply with.
• Just thinking about the French makes me feel like puking.
• Yeah, and them Greeks and Russians and Chinee and Swedes. Dégueulasses.
• Just thinking about my navel smelling like Jessica Simpson makes me feel like puking.
• Ewww. No fingers allowed in the bellybutton. None. Ever. Especially if you want to get laid.
• This brings up several feelings, all of them sickmaking. First of all, I have this intense visceral loathing for Jessica Simpson. She's neither smart, nor facially pretty, nor particularly talented. She's a marginal pop singer with a "good body" and blonde hair. (This is, of course, a matter of taste.) I'm VERY disappointed that Sephora cleared out nicer product lines that they carried to make room for another arm of her promotional machine. I figure that IF WE STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO HER, SHE WILL GO AWAY. Second of all... the people who have a problem with having their navels touched. Are you all innies? It doesn't seem like many outies have weighed in on this thread. I'm an innie, maybe an inch deep, and it angles upwards a bit. (It would be good for piercing if I wanted a pierced navel, but I don't.) It feels weird to stick my finger in it, but not really traumatic. I don't know if my fiance could ever get HIS finger into it, since I'm very ticklish and would tend to squirm away before we figured out the answer to that question. Third of all, the whole penis digression reminds me of that old (dirty) blonde joke: Q: Why did the blonde have bruises around her navel? A: Because her boyfriend was blond too! (disclaimer: i have blonde hair.)
• Is this the ultimate example of OMPHALOSKEPIS?
• No, Dr, I believe this to be the ultimate example of omphaloskepsis. Why does a navel need its own perfume? Is there an epidemic of rancid she-paunches out there?
• curses, foiled by rocket *shakes fist MonkeyFilter: No fingers allowed in the bellybutton.
• OK, who ran off with my ?
• My bellybutton talks when I'm sleeping. "Hel-looooo!" /Seinfeld
• I'm pretty grossed out by Simpson, too. Her (Baptist minister) dad is always talking about how sexy she is. Um, ew? Also, I'm turned off by any woman whose career is built upon making fun of her stupidity while also leering at her boobies. Also... belly button fragrance? I need say no more :)
• It's called soap people! Gahhhhh!!!!!!!! *dies of exasperation*
• I believe this is a unisex product A perfume? Flogged by skankadocious J Simpson? With an all-pink web site? Getthefuckouttahere.
• skankadocious = hee hee hee! and oddly appropriate
• I just clicked on the link. THIRTY FOUR DOLLARS??!!!
• Ah, but can you put a price on how you'll feel next time someone on the subway suddenly bows down and says 'Ooohh, it smells wonderful..' while sniffing your tummy, eh, Koko? : )
• Man, How could I forget Ashlee Simpson Need a chick to lipsync on the dick like Ashlee Simpson And I ain't talkin about Marge Simpson or Bart Simpson yeah that's the Simpson With the big 'ol titties the tatas the mammaries And I'd definetly fuck another member of her family That's, Jessica Simspon with them titties, them big ol titties (Sorry.
• The price would be my fine for assault once I've broken his nose :)
• Ack, I just saw her video for "These Boots Are Made for Walking". I presume both Nancy and Frank are rolling over in their graves. Even Nancy, who isn't dead. Plus I can't believe Willie Nelson appears in said video. Yet all this will not prevent me from watching the new Dukes of Hazzard movie at some stage, even though I know now, as an adult, that the Confederate flag is a racist symbol, and that Jessica Simpson plays Daisy Duke, and that it won't have the original Boss Hogg. I'm a sucker for nostalgia.
• Well, of COURSE it's unisex. After all, bellybuttons are unisex. What, you don't like pink? How MCP of you. I suppose you'd prefer some manly scent like Old Spice? Ah, I remember being young and those sweet, sweet mornings when we used to lay in bed, and I would pick the lint out of Mr. B's bellybutton .... Oh, wait. That's probably more than you all wanted to know.
• Really, unless topped off with champagne, belly buttons are only a brief resting place on the way to or from somewhere else.
• Monkeyfilter: only a brief resting place on the way to or from somewhere else.