July 06, 2005
Okay I promised recipes. My smoothies are designed to be delicious first and good for you second. You can dissolve healthy shit in them if you must and you can substitute soy milk for real milk in some cases.
1. Basic banana
This is probably the best. Combine a fresh banana, whole milk, a little bit of salt (crucial to round and be-pudding the flavor). Blend with ice, then add sugar to taste. Also good with a bunch of cinnamon (most cinnamon we have in the states is cassia but whatever) or nutmeg if you're italian or korean.
2. Strawberry tart.
You will need: a bunch of fresh strawberries or half strawberries, half white peach. Yellow peaches are too sour for this one. Add those with ice, lowfat or full fat yogurt and sugar (or honey - honey with white peaches is really good). Add salt (again, crucial), blend and almond extract (makes it taste like a big marzipan deliciousness) and sugar to taste. It's best to add sugar after blended so you can adjust it more exactly. Cold things in general need more sugar than hot things but it's best not to over do it.
ALCOHOLIC
I drink a lot so yeah. Here's some other things you can make in a blender.
BANANA MARGARITA
Well - I like using pretty ripe bananas for this one. One banana, juice of one lime. A tiny bit of salt. Blend with just enough ice to be really cold and icy - now add tequila (unaged 100% agave if possible but nothing fancy - better rough and pure than smooth and boring) and your choice of orange flavor (cointreau, triple sec).
Lemon Herb slush
Great for hot days - refreshingly cold, refreshing taste, clears the palate and the mind. Basically, take some club soda or mineral water and blend it with enough ice to become slushy but not thick. Add the juice of about 2 lemons (this is a large recipe) and then add Chartreuse until it is chartreusey (not much) and some decent vodka until strong enough for you (I personally prefer it at about the strength of a full bodied beer). Sugar to taste.
The ripper (
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Oddly enough - stop smoking. Not that I in any way know if you do, but if you do and you quit, I guarantee you'll gain a few quick pounds. You and I, Mr. Settle, we have the same skinnyness quandry. Alcohol isn't too good either, it just makes you shit out all the good protiens. But that's a much harder thing to completely give up.
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Check out this thread. No smoothie recipes per se, but it seems to be chock-full of good advice on how to gain weight. I'm trying to put on a little muscle myself (just joined a gym for the first time in mumble-mumble years), and I'll be referring to that thread occasionally. I have a feeling that I will be concocting banana margaritas this weekend.
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It's not the size of the banana margarita...........
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Ha!
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I have a quick-fix for gaining weight in my cock, if anyone is interested.
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You know, as someone who works out regularly and went from 6'4" at 150lbs to 230, the thing that I would tell you is to: 1. Eat a lot. 2. Eat a lot of protein. 3. Work out with heavy weights. Eat more than you think you normally would. Don't do it until you get sick to your stomach, but a bit more than normal. I don't care what all the stupid fucking expensive protein powders say, just get the cheapest one for your $$$ and load it up. I myself do a real simple smoothie in the morning with a full banana, some frozen pineapple, soy milk and Trader Joe's soy protein powder. It's damn cheap and doesn't give me gas like the milk and egg based powders do. The fruit gives the plain protein more than enough sugar and the lack of milk also makes it so I don't get fleghmy. Work out heavy. This is the most important of all. You are not going to build any extra muscle unless you work out hard. You have to break down muscle to build it up. To the point where you will be hurtin for certain the next day. It would be great if you could work out with someone else to be your spotter, that way you can go HEAVY and feel safe. Seriously, you ain't gonna gain unless you go for the pain.
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Oh, and remember. Aspirin is your friend.
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Actually, Settle, I don't understand why you're relying on smoothies. Do you eat other stuff, like fresh vegies, starches, protien sources (yes, meat is one of them). I suggest some mashed potatoes. And, a tuna melt on sourdough bread, with sharp cheddar inside and garlic butter as the toasting agent. Maybe some ice cream. What can you eat, and what do you not like?
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I really like banana/orange Fruitein, esp mixed with whole milk. I don't think it'll really help you put on much weight, though. So my suggestion would be to eat a lot of bread and pasta and potatos. Yum! (I'm not helpful. I meant starchy but simple, natural, not-very-processed foods that taste really good. As opposed to adding calories by drinking Coke and eating fries.) The banana with cinnamon thing is good too - a banana blended with milk and cinnamon/cassia is great for an upset stomach. I got the recipe, not as complex as ActuallySettle's, from an alternative doctor. He drove me crazy because he seemed - from his methods - like kind of a quack, but almost every single one of his recommendations had great results. He often had me on various super-restricted diets (take 30 vitamins a day! no wheat, rice, oat, sugar, fruit, or honey! drink a citrus peel derivative! be alarmingly specific about the brand and provenance of everything else you eat!), so I was surprised when he recommended the banana drink when I had a stomach flu. It seemed so far outside of his usual recommendations, possibly because it actually tasted good.
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avocado and banana smoothie: one or two bananas, one avocado. chop up and drop in blender. add cold milk. ice is optional, as is a pinch of nutmeg. a yummy good source of fat and triptophan and energy. as squid says, if you want to bulk up you need to work out hard and eat lots of protein. i find free weights are generally better for the upper body. machines for the lower. with free weights you really need a spotter. if you want a protein supplement, whey is tops. i prefer unadulterated whey protein (the chocolate or vanilla flavoring makes it tast worse). it can be hard to find though. another option is to start your day with a two or three egg omelette.
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i'd be more than happy to give you 10 pounds of mine.
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Forget SideDish's 10. I'll give you 20!
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As Squid eluded to, eating lots of protein and training heavy are more important than simply increasing your weekly calorie count. In fact, I'd rate following a proper diet as more difficult than exercising when adopting a athletic program. 4. Eat every 3.5 to 5 hours. If you're starting to feel hungry, or your stomach's growling, you left it too long - eat right away. The key to gaining weight is always making sure your body has the calories it needs to heal, as it quickly loses interest in growing muscle if it doesn't have the necessary fuel. That 3.5 - 5 hour time will vary depending on how much you eat and your exact goals. People often have great difficulty following this schedule, as it requires packing lots of portable 'lunches' that can be eaten on the go, and being committed to stopping your activities to eat. Keep in mind that if you're really busy at work, you don't have to Stop. With a little thought it's easy to produce packed lunches that can be eaten a bite at a time over 45 min or so. 5. Eat protein with every meal, assuming you're working out on a daily basis. This is the hardest one for people as most protein is expensive and/or requires more prep than other foods. People are also often more picky when it comes to their taste in protein - get over that. Think of it as fuel, not a gourmet meal. Suggestions - tinned meats/fish are your friends. Usually very low in fat and perfectly proportioned for one or two meals. Just don't eat more than 2 cans of tuna a week to limit you heavy metal intake. Look at chicken, turkey, salmon. Liquid egg whites are wonderful and cheap. Pure highest quality protein. Pasteurized so they keep for a while, easy to microwave, and although they're tasteless that just means it's easy to mix in something you like, such as low-fat cheese. Egg whites are usually a bit expensive in the supermarket, but if you phone around to health food stores and egg wholesalers, you can usually find them sold frozen in roughly 2L containers. Lastly - cottage cheese. 1% or fat-free cottage cheese is high in whey protein, and usually cheaper, as well as being in ready to eat or cook form. Often cheaper than meat, but more expensive than egg whites.
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Eat lots of almonds. They are a good source of protein. Also, for on-the-go, get nutritional drinks like boost and ensure. They both make a plus calories version which is like 350 calories. Also drink juice anytime you would normally drink water, but make sure it's 100% juice. To build muscle get a chin-up bar and go nuts with it. Use it at least 5 times a day, as many as you can do, and you'll start gaining muscle where it shows quickly.
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Actually Settle, it would be nice if you thanked the people who took the time to answer your question. It's common courtesy.