June 30, 2005

Meet the Smoothies. "I want a man with chest, uninterrupted. Who's buff, thorough and shiny as a dime. He's playing with his earring. He's putting up his hair. He's touring the new Old Navy and picking up new slacks. I want a man with a tight shirt and a hard package."

Forgive me, Cake, for I have sinned against thee.

  • It's a Salon article, so you might need a day pass, though I couldn't tell since it kept timing out. Guess I'll have to wait till later, which is too bad since I had already constructed some comments to test against the piece.
  • Meh...I've looked like that for years, and now all of a sudden it's a style?
  • so this like about a man who's heterosexual, yet embraces metropolitan styles? If only someone could coin a clever term for this phenomenon!
  • He's just probably looked at upscale perfume for men ads for too many years. Or she. I can't tell because the link keeps timing out for me.
  • Like who the hell cares? Unless you have to seaarch him or something. Until then, who gives a rip?
  • Search him for what?
  • Gakkk!!! As a self-respecting homosexual in good standing, I personally love male secondary sex characteristics. Women, on the other hand, seem now, according to this (ca-ca) reportage (which I haven't read), to be preferring the circuit-boy look, inadvertently leaving me with the hairy trash I so love. Whatever. I blame craigslist for this phenomenon, no?
  • As a hairy man, I'm glad at least someone is still attracted to me. Thank you, Little Durian.
  • I love you, loto. I hope you weren't straight before you read this article? Because that would be even better! Are you, perchance, a mechanic?
  • The Salon "hack": go to the article you want to see, then type in http://www.salon.com/news/cookie.html - all the content, no commercial viewing. Yay!
  • Also, text-only Salon. (You'll still need the cookie, though. I just grab it from a bookmark when I feel like reading something that used to be kind of OK, but seems to be getting worse and worse.)
  • The article's author also writes rabbit blog. The picture of the smoothie guys looks like it needs a cartoon dialog bubble with the words, "Who loves ya, baby?" Savalas was a smoothie before Salon was even a suggestive sparkle in the eyes of interstitial advertisers.
  • mr. sidedish describes himself as a shaggy. how someone can have so much body hair and so little head hair is beyond me.
  • SideDish, men don't lose their hair. It just migrates...
  • Isn't the heart of successful smoooveness the ability to seem so natural despite one's affectations that the entirety appears to be free of affectation? Every one of these guys screams out "fawks!" (that's how we pronounce "faux" out here in the hinterlands) like a pince-nez on the nose of a sysadmin.
  • Men have been removing their pubic hair (and other bodily hair) in porns for years. The idea is that porn is being watched primarily by men, so we do not want anything that would focus attention on the man. We want the focus to be on the woman. Hetero men are typically not wanting to look at the naked man in the porn. Therefore, the removal of all hair makes the man stand out less because everything is all the same color and smooth. It makes it easier to focus on the woman. Young men began removing their pubic hair in large numbers 5-10 years ago. This time coincides with the explosion of the Internet and the easily accessible access to porn. Just about everyone has seen way more porn online than they ever saw before the Internet. Therefore, my theory would be that men are removing their bodily hair (especially pubic) so that they will more closely resemble the men they see in porns. "Hey, those guys get laid -- if I look like them, then maybe I will get laid, too!"
  • I wonder, bernockle, if the shearing of men's pubes in porn in roughly contemporaneous with the increased shearing/sculpting of womens pubes (a porn-wide depubification trend?) and the rise and, thus, finds itself reflected in the general populace as a result of the increasing prevalence of amateur offerings...?
  • I don't know about you, but I begin my journey to love on the treasure trail.
  • i think it has more to do with MTV and mainstream media effects on boys and kids in general in lieu of any other cultural context. Porn is at fault but not as much as usher or justin timberlake or anyone else pushed as constant replay for being ostenibly gender neutral. As i'm not personally attracted to prepubescent boys in general i have only one real thing to say about the whole thing: all over body stubble also, the maintenance of any grooming regime can get extreme. if no one else mentions you back hair you may forsake the bizarre forest areas until someone says "whoa". if i was young girl who had to decide between the clean hairless guy and the not as clean bacne guy i'd still probably see what books they read first
  • Goetter...what's up with that dude? It's like his facial features are huddling together in fear, terrified by his massive forehead and chin.
  • I refuse. Nope, you CAN'T make me click on that link.
  • 'Girls' often come up to me and ask me about that link, yes. Yeah, they might want to click on it, too. It's out there, it's there to be seen and... mocked.
  • Actually, bernockle, the reason usually given for men in porn shaving because it makes their cock look bigger, wat with it not being nested. If I ever sprout back hair, it's off to laser treatment I go. Yuck.
  • I have only one real thing to say about the whole thing: all over body stubble Heh. Bees has it all, I'm telling ye.