June 28, 2005

• How about a really nice chess set?
• Sorry- that was a tad severe. But do you know for sure how the future spouse feels about the gambling? Wedding gifts should be sort of things for the couple, no? /has seen too much misery wrought by gambling
• Um, I think one idea about wedding gifts is to buy fo the couple (and, you are buying for both of them) something they really need, like plates to eat off of or pots to cook in. Unless your friend's future spouse realllly likes poker, and the couple has everything else they need to start a life together, I think such a gift might be more of an IRL troll than a real wish for their continued happiness together. On the other hand, if they put a table cloth on it I suppose they could use it for a dining table. Does you $200 include chairs?
• here they are - "r" "r".
• They're pretty well set domestic wise, so I thought I'd get them something fun they'd enjoy, but that they wouldn't be think of getting for themselves. And before anyone else jumps in here, I am getting the Mrs. a separate gift as well, so it's not like I'm being a total ass (at least, I hope not).
• Glad to hear that.
• I didn't mean to pounce, but I thought maybe if the spouse really, really didn't like the poker-playing, you ought to consider that such a gift might cause rancour at a time when rancour is least welcome. You know, sort of like saying "you might be marrying him, but woohoo - look at the poker parties my buddy can have with the rest of us now in the house!" Just sayin'.
• As someone getting married in two weeks - I hate it that everyone thinks you ought to get housewares. People already have dishes by the time they get married these days - they may not have a nice poker table. Also, dayfat didn't say whether his/her friend was male or not - that's a big jump to assume the spouse might not like it. If you want to get it, get it! But unfortunately I'm useless to help you find a new one. (I'm just going to sit here wishing I'd thought to put Farscape DVDs on the registry)
• Okay - dayfat said later. But truth still stands. I have female friends I would give a playstation to if they were getting married. If I could afford a playstation. All of their relatives will get them horribly useful gifts - get the fun ones for your friends. Or give them money to do research with.
• A Playstation would be great!!! Good for two-person, togetherness games, good for separate Mr/Mrs games, too. My problem with the poker table is that it seems Mrs doesn't play, and furthermore, poker can lead to bankruptcy if taken too seriously. /received his&her battery-powered water-squirting machine guns for wedding gift. Whee!
• With a poker table, you're pretty much limited to either el cheapo or else something hewn from the One True Cross (tm). You can, however, find some pretty damn nifty combo game tables (chess, checker, backgammon, etc.) that fall in a middle range. Most furniture/interior design shops carry them, and occasionally you can find a neat one at an antique shop or flea market. I will side with fish tick on this -- unless you know the Mrs. will be cool with it, you might be injecting a bone of contention into their marriage. Heh. Bone injection. But seriously, speaking as one who wedded, it's usually a bad idea to go off the registry. They registered for those things because they want them. Go away from that, you risk getting them something they didn't want. We maybe got one wedding gift not on the registry that we didn't absolutely loathe. Other than my tattoo, I mean.
• btw- Also, dayfat didn't say whether his/her friend was male or not - that's a big jump to assume the spouse might not like it. I'm *guessing* you're making the big jump to assuming a heterosexual marriage! This is Canada, eh? And even if not, I think it's a big jump to assume that dislike of poker is gender-based. Heh.
• I'd go for the poker chips instead, the table's kinda over the top, if you ask me.
• Wot Chy said. Quality poker chips greatly enhance the pleasure of the game while breathing very little of the non-player's air.
• A "me too," I'm afraid. I'm getting married next year, and I hope people will use the registry, and I also hope that people will not assume that just because we're 30, we already have everything we need. Yeah, we have dishes, but not the ones we want. We don't have a mixer, we don't have enough nice sheets, etc. I have always lived with my parents, and he has lived a bare-bones bachelor life, where he mostly eats fast food or microwaved frozen meals. I actually have more registry-type home items than he does! My bf doesn't gamble or drink, doesn't like bars or strip clubs or sports, but he still has certain more-or-less gendered tastes. He is a semi-pro comics artist, and while I also like comics, we tend to not like the same comics. I would be equally aggravated if one of his friends were to buy him, say, a special limited-edition Batman print as a wedding present; I wouldn't be annoyed if it were Chris Ware or Adrian Tomine. A wedding present should absolutely be for the *couple*, and from on the registry. Also, because poker tables tend to have chip trays in them, you can't usually just cover them and use them for something else. That's what card tables - you know, the folding kind that cost like US$25? - are for. Texas Hold 'Em is trendy now, but in a few years it's just going to seem like kitsch.
• Go for the chips. The cheap tables are just that...cheap tables. They could always opt to build their own: http://www.scottkeen.com/forum/
• For my best buddies wedding I bought him one of these. He returned the favor with one of these when I took the plunge.
• I hope people will go off the registry, because I frankly hate mine. It was made by our mothers, because we were both out of the country. And I didn't feel like we could ask for anything cool. I'd also rather get small personal things that actually remind me of the people - like art from my artist friend (we won't ask her, because it's her job, but I've asked my fiance to drop the hint that if she wants to, a sketch from her would be the best present ever). And I so want a snoopy snow-cone machine! That's even better than the easy bake oven, which I have covetted since I was five. (My mom said I didn't need one, she would let me make cookies in the real oven, but it wasn't the same thing!)
• one of those nice aluminum cases of 500 poker chips instead My two cents...go with the games table. There are some quite decent ones out there that can double for standard entertaining. The poker players in this thread seem to suggest that high quality chips would be appreciated, but every time I've seen one of those cheesy aluminum-cased poker sets it's had regular cheapo chips in it. Super tacky kitsch.
• Ehh.. you can get very high quality ABS chips with metal cores for reasonable prices, they are good casino grade. I've seen sets of them in Oz for around 100 bucks. They are designed to be like ivory or something, they feel pretty nice. I just hate those ones with the Vegas casino emblems all over them; they are pretty fugly.
• Heh. Bone injection. Leave me out of this.
• Shit, that last one was me... forgot to log in.
• Get the chips. Quality chips are awesome. And he'll look like some dangerous guy on his way to an "errand" when you walk down the street with the case, which is an added dose of cool
• you = he, walk = walks
• It was made by our mothers, because we were both out of the country. Ooh, see, bad idea. I shudder to think what I'd have gotten if we'd done that. Leave me out of this. posted by Space Kitty at 07:15AM UTC on June 28, 2005 That actually works better.
• oh god i NEVER buy off the registry -- tooooo boring, sorry. my gift of late to several couples, met with squeals of delight, has been a generous gift certificate to a romantic restaurant. after the stress of a wedding, they appreciate the time alone.
• I stopped giving wedding presents some years ago. Instead I give a generous gift to a good cause. Everybody I know that got married recently lived together for many years and was (compared to many in the world) very very wealthy. I don't want to add anything to that wealth. On our wedding we suggested three good causes and most people donated to those. We only got one 'real' wedding present. (I also don't do X-mass presents anymore).
• A friend of mine recently got married, and they're going to spend their belated honeymoon in Paris in the fall. We bought them 100 Euros. Topical for the honeymoon, and almost entirely useless (unless they want to buy dollars with it and lose a fair chunk) until then!
• in a few years it's just going to seem like kitsch And it doesn't look like kitsch now? I hope people will go off the registry, because I frankly hate mine. Ah, but usually if you are registered somewhere, you can easily return the items you receive for store credit and get the stuff you actually want. However, that is admittedly quite a hassle. At most of the weddings I attended when I lived on the East coast, cash was the rule rather than the exception. Let the couple pick something for themselves, I say.
• I'm sorry, in my last post I should have said - meant to say - "buy from the registry IF POSSIBLE." That or cash is preferable, for most people, if they actually got to choose their own registry. If they already have everything they need around the house, they might appreciate money that will either help pay off the wedding or help with the downpayment on a house. The whole process of wedding gifts and registries is so screwy because of the etiquette rules involved. Bridal couples must not say that they expect presents, and must not suggest any (meaning, the registry location is supposed to get around magically by word of mouth and can't be mentioned anywhere in the invitation). Meanwhile, they have every right to expect presents, because the etiquette for being invited says that you go if at all possible, and if you go, you must also give a gift. Meh. It's all a stack of very polite pretenses. I think it's totally cool to give a gift to a charity in their name. Past that, I think it's kind of self-reflexive to decide that you know what they'd like better than what they've already said they want and need - because then it becomes about you rather than about them. (This is why I always buy off the registry or give cash.) Sometimes the gifts are decent - something you know friends will appreciate and haven't thought of - but a lot of the rest of the time you might as well just consider it a donation to Goodwill. I think in that instance it's best to consider your relation to the bride and groom. But of course, the people who most need to hear this - the people who give cute country duck clocks to urban-dwelling indie rock fans, and the people who give weird stuff from the MoMA catalogue to people who would rather have had, say, the poker set from their registry - they are the people who never, ever listen. (There's actually a registry strategy that can backfire in this respect: the idea that if you put up a very short registry, or none at all, you will mostly get cash. Well, you WILL get cash, but you will also get a lot of things you hate. A few places will give cash rather than store credit in exchange for registry items: Bed, Bath and Beyond is the big one.) Sharper Image seems to have decent chip sets, but honestly, I still don't recommend the gift unless it's something both of them will love. Otherwise, wait for the friend's birthday.
• I wouldn't recommend one of the chip cases that you can get at the mall. As someone already said, they have cheap chips. Get chips straight from a Vegas supply house. They are probably the same price, plus you can get customized ones if you prefer. BAM (First link off google, not a recommendation.) As for the table, we've been doing alright with one of the tabletop folding dealies. Its out of the way when we need the space and since its cheap, beer and tobacco product spills are not a problem. I really liked the poker table my friend has as his only table, but the chip/drink holders make it impractical for a piece of family furniture. If your friend has a romper room where this piece can have a home then I think they are great.
• Thanks.