June 20, 2005

• I want to be the monkey who videotapes it so you can sell it all over the internets. I'm sure it would sell, not only as a seminar, but as a video or a book. The titillation factor is way, way high. Believe me, it'll sell. Seriously, I'd love to tape it. Write me at the email address on my profile if you are interested.
• Oh yeah. That'll work, squid. A for effort.
• Ummm, bite me waraw. D- for your own pathetic mind. I have worked in the adult video market, and given that this is not the same thing, I'm not trying to get laid. I am completely serious. I think it would sell as a video.
• I'm not sure how it would sell to women without some specific marketing, since I'n out of touch with this generation, but I'd bet it would sell to men
• More than a general audiences seminar/video, I suppose your focus is in the real world, no-nonsense, legal and security aspects of the profession, isn't it? Not that it would be a dry subject, but certainly one with some not pleasant aspects, I guess. Of course, the speaker's tone and delivery can turn it into an interesting, entertaining material with room for some humor, even. And from your posts and blog MJ, I'm sure you're more than up to that task. I recall watching some time ago a documental on young women interested on getting into the porn workfield. It showed everything from the health, legal, and security aspects. Obviously the tone set was a lighter, funny one, since the edited collage of their answers to the question 'why do you want to work in videos?' was almost unanimously 'because I'll get to have lots of sex!'.
• Actually, I think your on to something. You would have to be really careful in how you marketed it, though. It sounds like something that could fly. As for charging, I have no idea how much people pay, on average, for seminars but I would think you could charge anywhere from $100-200 and have a full house. You could always increase that as you developed your routine. Sounds interesting.
• MJ, you're probably better off with a website to start. That will help gauge the interest level. Otherwise, marketing is problematic since, for the most part, the escort services are only quasi-legal in the US, which is probably your biggest market.
• And, sorry, I addressed the video thing rather than mj's question. So, mj, any idea where you would publicize the seminar? I'm sure there are women or men out there who would love to learn from you, but how would you let them know that they could? There must be some effort involved, as well, in setting things up - booking venues in areas where your audience could afford to go, negotiating with hotels/motels for room rates and no charge conference rooms, plus refreshments for breaks, printing off presentations with enough detail that attendees could refer to them when they were setting up their own businesses. I've hosted several presentations/seminars in my life, but never had to set them up myself. Thank heavens for administrative assistants who made it possible fcr me to concentrate on the messages I was trying to deliver and to get the perks reserved for the person in charge. But, in working with the the admins, I did learn that it's not an easy task to complete. On the other hand, there may be booking agents out there who would handle the details for you and would pay you a flat fee. I don't know who they are, but they're out there.
• I think it could be done, if the city is large enough, and not a city that would be culturally threatened by it. Do you have seminar experience? Knowing the topic isn't good enough. You need to be able to present it. This is difficult enough when the seminar is on lighter topics. This will be more difficult with your heavier topic, but then a again, the subject will be more interesting than most seminars. I don't think you can use the number of female monkeys interested as a way to gauge how many local women will be interested. If there isn't enough interest as a seminar, you could try teaching a college course. I think you could find enough interest that way, and it might create enough publicity for you to teach a seminar.
• Screw the seminar idea. Think big. Get ahold of Trump and tell him you've his next big Reality TV program.
• Personally, I think it would sell, but you might need to talk to lawyerly types to see what lines you can or can't cross. Or what kinds of disclaimers you'd need to use. You could have a big banner which says "MoneyJane, Inc. does not actually endorse screwing people for their money. If you want to screw people over for their money, you might want Nigerian 419 Scams, two doors down the hall."
• Keep in mind that you'll have to plan for the Creepo Factor. Men showing up or shadowing the seminar, hoping to get dates.
• I love monkeys! I think I'd want to start very informally; limit it to women only, and simply meet with whoever was interested and has x dollars on a specified date and time. I think I'd want to get the word out on local hipster boards. That way it costs me nothing but time and energy, and I should find out real quick how much demand there is. I'd set it up basically as a question/answer format, as well as points I'd like to make about safety, john psychology 101, website design, how to deal with reviews, escort directory sites, scams and nuisance emails, incall/outcall issues, supplies, various secret girlie things, dealing with other escorts, and lots of stuff I can't think of right now. PS...I'm also signing up with NightFlirt, the phone sex joint mentioned in the working from home thread. Multiple income streams, baby! Given how it evolves Squid, I'm into the idea of a video :)
• Advertise in university districts! Plus, your in the perfect town to be able to drum up a good business with this.
• I have a very strong suspicion that even with the relaxed anti-prostitution laws in Canada, a moneymaking enterprise such as yours would directly run counter to the law while also being an attractive (and obvious) target for law enforcement. You'd better make sure this isn't the case.
• I think this could be a really lucrative idea. Have you also thought of giving seminars to women who aren't interested in becoming escorts, but would still like some tips? I thought of this because of the success of things like the success of the "How to make love like a porn star" book (I could be slightly off on the title, there.) I would think that in this sort of seminar the bored housewife factor would be high, and the legal issues may be less fuzzy. I know it's not what you were thinking of, but those bored housewives (or bored career women) would probably be willing to shell out a bit for a fun seminar where they could talk about sex.
• I actually there's possibly a very good business model somewhere in there but I don't know about the idea of doing it so ad hoc as you propose - that might tend to weaken it's professionalism and future potential seems to me. I don't know how to make suggestions of a practical nature particularly but I would think a 1 day seminar would be the go with a bunch of speakers -- perhaps this takes you into a bit more of a corporate type world than you intended and necessitates networking with some good presentational people not to mention begging for some proper marketing input. But if you did set something up, especially in an open, large-ish city and advertized in mainstream media (because your audience for the mostpart will be ladies who don't normally either act on their impulse or read leftfield material but are curious no?) then I suspect you would probably have some serious touring potential. For instance, if you have an hour and a half on the different types of setups: brothels, streetwalking, phonesex, home prostitution, niche markets and then the next hour and a half on health, law and safety. Post lunch, a session on practicalities of the work, psychology and do's don'ts or the somesuch. And a final session on setup, business models, accounting, advertizing tax etc. Demo's or product displays for the interludes or that sort of thing - a shill by any other name. Advertize it easily: One stop sexworker info shop type of thing. $450 for the day maybe or thereabouts. Have sponsors, hell you know that the XXX industry would fight handover fist (excusing the punnish interlude) to attach their product/website etc to a publically mainstream type of event. That's my 2c worth. It doesn't obviate your having a bash in the minor way you've suggested -- but if there's anything I've heard or seen in recent times that seemed to indicate a largish potential, it's this idea. Good Luck. Report back and I'll take 1% of gross as consultant/muse/firebrand once yearly turnover breaks $2M. ;- )
• if you find you have trouble filling a house, definitely go the video route...you can always film in in your garage and then dub in the audience from other seminar videos... god, i love bluescreen.... honestly, though, how many people find themselves joining 'the profession' on a given day/week/month, even in a major metro area? I LOVE the idea, though, and applaud the motives. It can be a dangerous job and good guidance is definitely needed out there...maybe it would work better as a consultation service 1 on 1 kinda thing...you could try posting it on craigslist in your town and see how many calls you get...then cast the net wider as need be.... good luck miss jane...
• Dyam! You guys got me stoked! I think if I called it something like the cliched "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Escorts But Were Afraid To Ask" I'd be fine, as far as legal issues go, rather than, say, "So...You Want To Be An Escort", because it infers I'm simply talking about my experiences rather than luring the ladies to the dark side. I think it's much more problematic in the US - strictly speaking, the way I work as an escort, I'm not breaking the law. Plus, you know, isn't it in the Monkey Code somewhere that the Magic Monkey Bail Hat shall be passed for all bad, bad monkeys?
• you could also consider developing a slightly outre business seminar, pitching your experiences in sexwork in terms of lessons for managers.

  "keep 'em coming: how to ensure repeat business from valued customers" "clinching the deal: get them by the balls and their hearts will follow"

  that sort of stuff. i reckon there's at least one book here.
• You might even want to work into the blurb something about "keeping your man happy" to further attract the bored housewives. I remember reading an article about a woman who was a "professional" mistress (i.e. dealt only in long-term contracts with married men) giving advice to wives about how to act like a mistress and keep their husbands' interest on them. That might be a more legal angle to get into the US market, perhaps?
• Call it "How Not To Be A Desperate Housewife" and it'll sell like hotcakes.
• what meredithea said! i think there's a huge market in women who are verrry curious as to the talents of escorts. and surlyboi is dead-on with his title! but even if you kept it to biz-oriented stuff i think it would be really popular. i imagine there are many girls out there who are working for others but would like to strike out on their own in the escort biz. good luck!
• You're better off doing a book - video - site called "Make love like an escort" Show those wives the secrets to keeping their man happy in the sack.
• /Ron Popeil
• I'd also opt to keep things very professional, thereby enhancing the mystique... I'm guessing that the majority of people who'd pay to go would be more curious than potential new professionals. you could also include grooming tips and advice--I recall in the past you've mentioned various things you do, and looking sexy is a big part of feeling sexy! looking forward to when your book/video combo package is on the Amazon bestseller list :)
• see also, hooker video. sorry, couldn't resist! /slaps self/
• I don't think you really want the bored housewife set - you would just shock them. You want women who have been considering doing this, and you can tell them how to do it safely and professionally. I would think craigslist, maybe, the back pages of certain newspapers, where they already advertise escorts - some may already be working, but wish to improve their clientale.
• Do most escorts get into the business directly, or do they progress through the stripper-->masseuse-->escort career path? If it's the latter, then that's where you need to concentrate your marketing efforts.
• Monkeyfilter: various secret girlie things Monkeyfilter: get them by the balls and their hearts will follow Bluehorse, quit slacking, OK? :)
• "Plus, you know, isn't it in the Monkey Code somewhere that the Magic Monkey Bail Hat shall be passed for all bad, bad monkeys?" MJ -- please. I'm at work. Suggesting that you've been a bad, bad monkey, or that you're about to be a bad, bad monkey -- well, it makes me think of all kinds of lurid thoughts as to what kind of punishment you may deserve. But I'm stuck at the office, and I doubt that my clients would much appreciate me working through my fantasies, so to speak. (Getting a little hot in here -- why isn't the air conditioning kicking in..?) Just make the video. I'll need a couple. One to watch, and the other to keep wrapped in mylar and stashed in my safety deposit box.
• (And as a backup plan to this seminar, we're still eager to see your autobiography in print. Which I'd also buy two copies of.)
• *Scribbling furiously in notebook* Thinking Q&A About T&A; A Bad Girl Spills the Beans if I'm going for the hipster set. Then I can branch into "How Not To Be A Desperate Housewife" turf. I'd want to wait on that until I'm ready to throw down, because that market, and where I'd have to advertise for that market will bring out the ire of the fire 'n' brimstone set. Although I could just cut to the chase and call it "What Would Mary Magdelene Do, and Who? Mary Magdelene is one of several patron saints of ye olde Biz.
• Hipsters? Will you make them take off their trucker hats first? Perhaps trade them for jimmy hats
• sorry, Flagpole MonkeyFitler: It makes me think of all kinds of lurid thoughts as to what kind of punishment you may deserve. MonkeyFilter: The titillation factor is way, way high. MonkeyFilter: If you want to screw people over for their money, you might want Nigerian 419 Scams, two doors down the hall. Is that better?
• And now a dangly < / b >tag! Why, this calls for a stern reprimand! It makes me think of all kinds of lurid thoughts as to what kind of punishment you may deserve... : )
• Just don't ask Bob Parsons what yer punishment should be.
• If you did it as a full-day seminar, you could run the option of having a full-day (business in the morning, break for lunch and teambuilding exerises, and how-tos for the desperate housewives in the afternoon) or a half-day just for the desperate housewives, with people signing up for the parts they want.
• It's not quite the same thing, but there are a couple of "tantric sex" seminars that also market videos and the people are rolling in the $$$. This seems to be just the sort of thing that could make a splash as a viral marketing meme. The sort of thing that one of us would post on a site like this or send to a friend. And marketing is half the battle, especially if you want to market a product besides the seminars. If you want, I have a lawyer-friend of a friend who specifically defends people in the adult business who I can hook you up with if you want to do something for the US market.
• And marketing is half the battle... So far the battle has three halves. Any advance?
• Any advance? No, but there will be no advance if moneyjane doesn't actually do it. Do or do not, there is no try.
• But is there 'try before you buy'?
• Will you make them take off their trucker hats first? Nope. If I see anyone in a trucker hat, I'll back over them with my rig. Well...I put up a notice locally, and we'll see what happens. Oh. And by the way, Apple made a grievous mistake in making those annoying fucking iPod Shuffles so satisfyingly hurlable. *growl*
• Surely you didn't break one? I figure they're nigh-unbreakable because of how lightweight they are.
• Nope. No throwy, no breaky; however, the number of brain cells I boiled to death restaining myself from hurling the bastard while in the grip of a seething, vegetation-wilting rage at it not downloading the carefully constructed playlist I finally finished at 5 am is no doubt spectacular. Little white music thingy, oh, how I hate you.
• Just in case you start feeling homicidal against that noisy chiclet, here's some vicarious revenge. Suffer, Shuffle!
• Poor Shuffle. That brought tears to my eyes. Tears of...JOY. Glorious glorious joy!
• Thought I'd mention that you have competition in the podcasting arena. I got a beta account to Odeo and this is one of the newest podcasts listed: A New York Escorts online journal, Traci Islands, Sexy, Fun , Creative New York Escort, her real story of what it is like to be a suburban escort.
• She has a blog? Or some kind of audio thing?