June 17, 2005

Surviving being Eaten by a Whale - "Once inside, sit tight and try not to touch anything if at all possible. Gastric processes are invasive and skin does not recover well from encounters with digestive fluids."
posted by jb 19 years ago
  • Another good reason to have your towel with you at all times.
  • If I find myself in a position where the possibility exists that a whale might eat me, I figure I probably deserve it.
  • Rule Number One: Don't Panic
  • thank you so much jb! this happened just last tuesday to a good pal. if only i'd had this information then. sigh.
  • It's a little bit more complicated the other way around.
  • The final line "If all else fails you might consider using pepper or a small fire to smoke your way out." W.T.F. ????? yep, matches and some pepper, that's the answer... and kindling, of course, and a couple of logs, and since you've got the fire going and already have the pepper, you might as well do up some eggs, eh?
  • This has happened to me several times. My advice: bring a flashlight so you can read while waiting to be rescued. Moby Dick is an obvious choice, but if you happen to find yourself inside a whale with a copy of Emily Dickinson's poetry, that works surprisingly well.
  • Well I'll be blown!
  • *imagines the feeling of being squeezed through a whale sphincter*
  • yep, matches and some pepper, that's the answer... Heh, HuronBob's kids must be too old for "Pinnochio."
  • :-\ "Pinnochio"..heh...i forgot! But, that reminds me that as a kid I had a very wonderful pop-up book of Pinnochio. Now I have to figure out where that thing is...... I know it is in a box someplace...
  • do cell phones work inside a whale?
  • Look, just arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry against it, OK? You'll save yourself all this needless hassle.
  • YET FORTY DAYS AND MONKEYFILTER SHALL BE DESTROYED!
  • *trembles a bit*
  • Does anyone have advice about being shoved up a whale's asshole?
  • Make friends with the gerbils and they might show you the way out.
  • EW EW EW EW!!!
  • Does anyone have advice about being shoved up a whale's asshole? Lot's of lube and an accommodating whale.
  • Outside of a book, a dog is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. /Groucho Marx
  • If lighting a fire and smoking your way out doesn't get you out of the whale, I'd put up some bookshelves and some posters. Make the place liveable for Chrissakes.
  • The hard part would be installing the wireless network.
  • Is this some kind of bizzare setup for one of those "you might be a redneck" jokes? "if you;ve been swallowed by a whale more than once..."
  • Punch your way at until you're puked up. Then you'll be alive AND rich.
  • Punch your way at until you're puked up. Then you'll be alive AND rich.
  • Dammit, it gave me a connection failure the first time. I believed it.
  • Well, Pinocchio drowned after using a fire to make the whale sneeze, but the Blue Fairy brought him back to life as a real boy. Huzzah! However, back in the day when biblical interpretion was favored in the US, scholars I read thought that "in the belly of the whale" meant "depressed." Sorry, no link, 'cause the first zillion results from a Google search led to nothing that would support my memory.
  • Squid is the favorite food of sperm whales. Just sayin', Mr. Calamari Herder. Be careful out there.
  • He said "sperm." Huh, huh, huh.