May 26, 2005

The New Chastity Panties Is she cheating? How would you know, ? Chastity belts too "Middle Ages"? Look no further!
  • That's just disturbing
  • The "testimonial" from the Dad was hilarious and...well...just wrong. "My only comment is it would be great to have a video camera, maybe you can work that into V.2."
  • Paging MoneyJane... biometric measurments!! eeeew!
  • I love it! A brilliant hoax! Nice one starrybaby.
  • It's doing great in the rankings too!
  • it's...it's a hoax? but i needed some for my girlfriends...er...friend...
  • So let me get this straight -- she can just TAKE THEM OFF? Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose behind chastity panties? I'm no expert in chastity wear (despite appearances to the contrary), but this makes no sense. So, basically, you can use the GPS to find the secret location where she left her underpants (i.e. the floor). You can see her heart-rate getting faster and faster, and then poof! flatlining panties. And is that battery where I think it is? How could she not notice THAT?
  • Heeeeeeeeeey..! Batteries in my underpants! Where'd I leave that nine-volt..?
  • Apparently she's not expected to know what kind of panties they are. It's likely she would have been raised by wild boar and only recently civilized enough to allow these garments to be placed on her tanned and firm lower region.
  • Monkeyfilter: *poof!* flatlining panties
  • And hey, I'm sure my hypotethical grandchildren will wear those 'for their safety'. Years ago, the idea of walking kids around lashed like dogs and chipping them would have sounded like bad sci-fi. Look at us now...
  • I am not sure I can even be COHERENT right now there is such a redhot blizzard of "RED ALERT! RED ALERT!! FASCIST TOOLS OF THE FUCKING PATRIARCHY APPROACHING!! RED ALERT! RED ALERT!" I mean my HEARTRATE has excelerated here, people. Is this a joke? someone tell me this is a joke? No one could create a product like this in seriousness?? not in this day and age?? if some guy gave me those stupid things as a present I would take great enjoyment in stuffing them in his sexist, controlling mouth (only after they were really dirty from my having sex w/lots of other people) and slowly asphixiating [sic?] him with them.... I am going to go kiss my husband right now....
  • Does the GPS constellation work outside the Earth orbit? What if she gets picked up by one of those alien sex ships?
  • even though it's a hoax, someone can make some decent money here. i am sure there's gotta be a market for chastity belts with GPS. seriously... however, since i am a female monkey, how about a version for the male monkeys?? those male monkeys are more likely to monkey around?
  • I am a little more caffeinated than usual today *sheepish grin*
  • I find that the chastity punch works much better than the belt or the panties...
  • "Tanned and firm lower regions" -- I can feel my biometric panties tingling... GITCH! Biometric GITCH! ('Panties'... what was I thinking? Heh heh.) (Crap.)
  • "Welcome! Have a tall glass of the Chastity Punch and a Humility Cookie."
  • I'd only buy them if they emitted a sonar ping every thirty seconds or so. If they did, then I could play sub commander!
  • what oklo said.
  • This has to be a chain-pull; I've been looking for anything less clunky than Zippo lighter size and it ain't out there. Also, they over-simplify the hell out of the 'monitoring system' which was another stumbling block in the tech last time I was looking.
  • There are plenty of male chastity devices already out there. Link SFW at a PG-13.
  • hmm... Now I'll be (more) skeptical on receiving undies as a gift...
  • She can't just take them off. You obviously didn't click through to the "Additional Requirements" page, which included a staplegun.
  • Mine came with velcro. That could explain the multiple children.
  • This is part of a contest from contagious media and their showdown contest. As expressed earlier, some of us are for 'em, some of us are agin 'em, and some of us don't care either way, but at least be aware of what you're looking at. Any questions, see the FAQ. Just thought you might like to know.
  • She's squeamish about using those panties you bought her? Well, you can still show your love from far, far away with this stylish vest. And that cute teddy! Aaahhh... A hug at the right moment (or at ALL moments, ha!) will surely keep you in her mind. And yes, this one's for real. At least it's on the prototypal stage.
  • I've got a pair of those panties on right now! They're pretty comfortable except for the staples which are so deep they go through my hip bones. Dad has to remove them for me when I take showers or just use the toilet but Mom is always right there making sure nothing weird happens. My kid sister calls them Jesus Draws and says she can't wait to wear her very own.
  • Those are really nice looking underwear. So...where do you buy nice underwear like that? Because all I can ever find are the basic white panties. Though boys apparently like those.
  • Yes, the flower in the hipbone area is a nice touch. They look to be a style I've seen called boycut/boy shorts/boy briefs/hipster (these might each be distinct shapes though they look kind of alike to me) and are not too hard to find at most stores. I find them comfortable.
  • I think I've seen stuff like that sell at Ocean Pacific, but more as exercise shorts or swimming trunks for girls type of apparel.
  • Does the GPS constellation work outside the Earth orbit? What if she gets picked up by one of those alien sex ships? Dude, if we can spoof radar systems, this is a cinch...
  • The hard part is being interesting enough that if your partner decides to cheat, they invite you along.
  • say what, willis?
  • Only $15.52 Per Unit har har *slaps knee* I can think of a whole new generation of high school boys that need these attached to their units. (and some 'boys' that are a tad older, too)
  • They would make awesome Valentine's Day gifts.
  • ...and completely kill the opening of the presents...
  • Not to worry. An electric bull breeder prode will bypass this safeguard in a jiffy.