May 23, 2005

TVGuardian is here to save the day! No more naughty words on the telly thanks to the Foul Language Filter. If you too, like Mary Lou Retton, are fed up with profanity in today's entertainment, don't forget to sign the petition!

TVGuardian® uses patented technology from Principle Solutions, Inc. to decode and monitor the hidden closed-caption text which is made available for the hearing impaired. Each word is checked against a dictionary of more than 150 offensive words and phrases. When a foul word or phrase is detected, TVG® automatically mutes the offensive language. You can even set TVG® to show you the silenced phrase in text form, but without the offensive words. Simply set the CC Mode to On Mute or On Always and phrases like “move your @#$” will be muted and “move your tail” will be displayed. You don’t miss a thing. Hot damn! I'm off to WalMart to get me one!

  • Q: Why does TVGuardian® mute the phrase instead of just the offensive word? TVGuardian® mutes the entire offensive phrase instead of just the word and displays the modified text, by design. It's too easy to fill in the blanks in your mind when only a single word is muted. Displaying the profanity free text version of the muted phrase makes your eyes focus on the text instead of the lips. The TVGuardian® method makes it more difficult to know what word caused the mute. “move your @#$” will be muted and “move your tail” will be displayed. Yep. Pretty hard to figure out that "move your tail" means "move your ass."
  • Q: Does TVGuardian® filter 'god' when used as an expletive? When the Religious wordset is turned on, TVGuardian® filters all vain references to deity. To watch a religious program, you may want to turn this wordset off. Or not.
  • Q: Why does TVGuardian® mute the phrase instead of just the offensive word? because as anyone who's ever seen closed-captioning in action, it is nowhere near synced up with the actual words, so they need to blank out a good portion around it...
  • "150 offensive words and phrases." I've always said that the right wing lacked imagination! I bet the average monkeys has that many words for f*$# lots of words they missed! (perhaps not safe for your work...depending on the ad that pops up on the side)
  • I smell walmart
  • It was a very long time ago that I was fed up with Mary Lou Retton.
  • Everyone knows that words like "ass", "cock" and "clit" are the cause of America's problems. So listen up, world, once we clean up the language on our TV, we'll stop bombing you.
  • I don't know about you, but I signed the petition. My name is Mike Hunt. I think I'll sign again after writing this comment. My name will then be Hung-Like A-Donkey.
  • Done that. Now I need to find some more names that will amuse the execs at Walmart. We should all blog this, and encourage all our friends to sign the damn heavy-petttttttition.
  • A friend from junior high days - his dad's name was Jack Hoff. Think I'll add that to the list of signatories...
  • Oh, don't forget Wayne King. And Wun Hung Lo. And Dick Head. Oh the fun we will have!
  • Jacque Strap. Carol Ho. Qum Stains. Ben Dover. Phuqu Longtyme. Hmm..this is fun.
  • I used to have a neighbor who lived across the street, and his honest-to-goodness name was Dick Bender. He didn't even go by "Richard."
  • Richard Noggin.
  • I don't get "Carol Ho". /blonde
  • Q: Does TVGuardian® filter 'god' when used as an expletive? When the Religious wordset is turned on, TVGuardian® filters all vain references to deity. To watch a religious program, you may want to turn this wordset off. Yeah, because you know how those tv'vangelists love to use god's name in vain.
  • What a bunch of poo-heads.
  • One-Eye, Jack.
  • Ted Smith, Hal McRae, George Wallingford, ah, forget it.
  • When AOL used to TOS people for offensive language, we substituted bjork for the expletive anglo-saxon word for intercourse and chachi (as in Joanie loves Chachi) for, variously, the male genitalia, excrement, and ejacultatate. Of course, we all know what "santorum" is. Censorship is so bjorked up.
  • fornicate! those womens bits have taken all the intercoursing fun out of swearing! the bottomholes! what kind of child of unmarried parents would do that?
  • sounds like lazy parenting to me.
  • Hugh Jardon Phil McCracken Dick Harter
  • What will it do when Engelbert Humperdinck sings?
  • The power we give to certain sounds is amazing. I mean, the meaning of the word "fuck" is not a problem. We are fine with "making love" or "copulating." You can even say "screw." I suppose that our next step in evolution might be when we realize that words and sounds only carry as much weight as we allow them to be. And once we do that, we will take away the power of using shocking words from dimwits who want to be noticed. Perhaps then they will have to employ something resembling thought to be noticed.
  • Heywood Jablowmi.
  • Austin Powers: Come again? Alotta Fagina: Alotta Fagina Austin Powers: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just not getting it, it sounds like you said your name was a lot of um... never mind!
  • Albert Gobshite of Titwank, Nobraska
  • Come to think of it, watching religious programming with the filter on would be funny as uh... all get-out. Join us and rejoice in the glory of [gosh], who so loved the world that he sent his Only Son, [Jeezum Peezum]! I'd be on the floor, personally. Verbal/absurdist humor, not anti-religious humor, promise.
  • minda25 - I don't either. /also_blonde
  • Not blonde, and still stumped with Carol Ho
  • The TV Guardian is the greatest invention ever. I hope it works as advertised...even better, actually. If the easily-offended crowd all have these little beauties, they'll never know what's really being said on television, and they'll stop writing complaint letters to the FCC, CRTC, or whatever your local national nanny service is, everytime someone says "ass" on TV. Finally, we can watch our filth in peace.
  • Oh...and I've never heard of Carol Ho, but I do know Mike Oxlong.
  • rocket, you're assuming that they watch things before firing off letters of complaint, rather than hearing it somewhere, from somebody? That's a lot of faith in humankind. Some would be satisfied, after finding FILTH!!!! while channel-surfing, but still others are quite happy to be het up about it on the sheer principle of the thing. (also don't get the Carol bit.)
  • oklo, help us!!
  • Silly. Just silly.
  • *runs wildly* *trips* *weezes* *clutches chest* Sorry...everyone...I logged off the interwebs after posting Carol Ho. What does it mean? *shrug* I dunno. Doesn't make a licka sense to me either. /blonde too
  • Thank you oklo! How many times did I repeat, "carol ho - - carol ho - - carol ho!" Varying the speed, accent and tone trying to decipher the hidden meaning... Carol Ho She likes to mow The grass that grows down below And every night She holds on tight Tossing to and fro Damn you Carol Ho!
  • Nice, sugarmilktea! Somewhere out there in time and space Carol Ho giggles and mows.
  • Damn you Carol Ho! hee hee hee... whoooo....