May 10, 2005

Curious George: Help me name my band!

We're a progressive metal power trio, much in the vein of Tool -- heavy-but-not-death-metal with untraditional time signatures and interesting song arrangements. Other influences include Dream Theater, Rush, and Planet X. (You might call us a heavy "Math Band", although we do a fair amount of improv.) Also, although we're seeking a lead vocalist, for now it looks like I'll haveta do it (and play bass guitar) and/or many of our songs will remain instrumentals. Our "look" is nothing unusual, as of yet; I'm 34, and the other guys are in their lower 20s. I like "Chaos Theory" (and my bandmates *really* like it...), but it has already been taken. Simply "Chaotic" is nice, too, but it's gone. I kinda like "Parabola", for the math band tie-in, but sigh... If you're a big cheater, here are some band name generators for ya. (I actually got some decent suggestions from these; will share if you like.) Okay, it's been done on AskMe, but for a very different style of band. And with no monkeys.

posted by LordSludge 19 years ago
  • It's gonna go down like a lead baloon.
  • The Jesus Ultrasound as suggested by Warren Ellis
  • Depth perception Glass-eyed tomorrows Ran with Scissors Foil Seal Tamper Proof Super crunchy The people from under the stairs Lack of reason to go on. Ruled margins Texture Sensitive Randomly generated thoughts from my head. If a million monkeys participate, there'll be a gem amongst them somewhere. (picking peanuts out of monkey poo). glad to have a question that doesn't require me to think
  • How about Placeholder Text. It'd be great on posters.
  • Anal Probe Stench of Death Helmut and the Cheeses Bum Fluff Crap At Maths
  • First - every great band is "The [something]" - the Pixies, the Stones, the quidnunc kid, and so on. Plus, you like tool, and if you wanna "be" like them then I think you should name yourselves The BeTools. Don't thank me - I just want a backstage pass, a couple of groupies and a huge fucking line of sniff.
  • Metal Links
  • The Beef Chest Freezer The Hurried Stunhat The Fabulous Bacon Brothers Chinwag Cheese Theory The Porn Lords The Wanderclumps Strum N Hum Special Metal Spider Jerusalem's Filthy Assistants The Serious Smokers Less Than Fifty The Pure Virtuals The Smart Pointers The Callbacks The Doubly Linked List The Standard Template Library Back To The Front Page The Recently Posted The Comments The Blogtrolls The Previews Rent A German
  • Suck My Wake. Big Bear Chase Me Quid Is An Asshole Sheild of Steel
  • "Kitfisto Drank My Colostomy Bag" is a good name, but I think it's been used as a headline in the Liverpool Echo one too many times.
  • Quidnunc NoNuts would look good on a giant bill-board. Or perhaps Pleggy Smeggy?
  • The Cromulence Vic Vapour and the Vapourettes Morosular Metallicy The Shed Peasants The Moos Van Helmet The Eels of Steel Gunstub The Crankhats Stool The Attention Defic
  • Actually The Pixies are Pixies, not The Pixies if you see wot I mean. How about Spinal Tap ... ?
  • Don't oppress me, The dickdotcom. (ps - congrats!)
  • can I impress you instead? Quidnunc Kid Thanks!
  • I'm a fan of two-name buddy cop movie-inspired names. Like Turner & Hooch or Starsky & Hutch. So you might think of interesting combinations in that vein: Tinglepants & Slappy Bobo Googlyface & Hitler Squirrel & Gravy Hoot & Holler Darktalon & Mrs. Chesterton
  • Get a proper job and cut your damn hair.
  • The Smegma.
  • no, changed my mind: The Shatter.
  • What you do is, you use that amazon feature that collates statistically improbable phrases from books, and you find a phrase that you like.
  • The Taints
  • SideDish, you spelled 'Shatner' wrong.
  • Crotch Panel Sluts
  • Pubis!
  • The Four Skins
  • picking peanuts out of monkey poo Was that another suggestion? Inoperable Anal Fistulas Stupid Stupid Rat Creatures Reassemble the Pig much in the vein of Tool Stool chrid wins.
  • swollen legs may ulcerate, everyone has dinner plans except us, urge for a corn dog, my bowels are 2 clenched fists, die gracefully, a perfect example of nothing, monopolization of the realm of appearances, unmistakable cone of ignorance, flying missiles atomic bombs and the second coming of jesus christ, maybe she's born with it, tentacles of circumstance, long glances pregnant with nothing, varying degrees of nausea and dizziness, mechanically separated chicken
  • Lord Sludge and the Y-Fronts
  • My old band was "The Fumigators", just so we could say "The Fumigators are at Lee's Palace tonight..." Given our lack of success, you're welcome to use it. No sense in having a good name die with our crappy band. (Previous to that, we were "Pintos on Blocks"). Suggestions: Event Horizon Fermat Primes The Sophie Germains Babbage and Lovelace 400 Kwatloos Better ones to come after coffee...
  • If you like math, go with something mathy. But go for slightly obscure math jargon, like Group Theory. Or astronomical, because that's the closest I get. String Theory Oort Cloud Planet X I'd say "Solid State Physics" but apparently there is already a record label named Solid State.
  • The Overwhelming Urge.
  • Die Easy The Fools Cubanestra The Gout (The) Monaco Studmuffins Bob The BFB Pig Kissers, Lint Kickers, Fist Lickers, or Fish Pickers, from a fave MST3K The Quiet Tringali Acid Redux Kinetics Lord Sludge and the Sludgettes Pi R Round Progeny's Child I Got Blown By The Blower's Daughter
  • oo! i like Acid Redux
  • If I had a band I always said I'd name it the Spawning Grunions, but if you like it you can have it. I'd be honored, really...
  • A buddy of mine once wanted to have a band called Head Cleaner just to confuse stockboys at record stores.
  • LordSludge, everytime I see your name I am reminded of GWAR - so perhaps something along that vein? From their faqfuq: "There have been varying theories about where the name GWAR came from, but the following is the true one. When the members of GWAR first broke free from the iceberg they'd been imprisoned in (read: when they had to think up a name), they let go of a horrific scream, "GWARRRRRRRRR," which was later shortened to become GWAR and the band's name. A slightly varying explanation is that Dave once shouted "We are GWWAARRGGHHLLL" or something." So perhaps: Huaaaaaaaar! = HUAR (which you could then break down into some silly acronym -- "Heads Up ARses," "Heard, Understood, Acknowledged & Renumerated") etc... etc... The talk of math reminded of this outfit from Canada, The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets, who manage to incorporate math into the majority of their music/lyrics (as well as H.P. Lovecraft). Bunch of funny yokels who perform in space suits even... Go insane... Something with punch rather than just sounding good
  • I had some good ideas, but quidnunc and kitfisto stole them already, and also made me spray coffee all over my monitor, the wankers. Hey, there's a good name, The Wankers.
  • Suck Factor X. No? Well, first off, you're not going to get very good suggestions here. Something that's snarky and clever on a website will make you look like a retarded novelty band when you put it on posters (notable exception: Led Zepplin, but their members were already famous when they started, so they get a pass. Also, they rocked.) Trust me, I write about local music. I see ten million bands with shitty novelty names. But, let's start with your prog metal roots: Tool is a decent name, but sub-par. It came out of those one-word '90s, and connotes a frat hat mentality now. Dream Theater's kinda fey, but Rush is a decent name (despite being a wank factory. Hey, maybe you guys could call yourselves Wank Factory? No? Never mind). I dunno Planet X, but they sound like they're probably going to be Rush knock-offs, with keyboards, upper octave guitar work, and choogling bass. So... No real help there, unless your demographic is high schoolers in black t-shirts. Now, let's look at the math/prog rock scene: You've got the big daddy of them all— Slint. Is it a real word? Doesn't really matter. It's got a good sound. Slint. Say it with me: Slint. Spiderland might not be taken, but that's a bit hipster, innit? Then you've got The Mars Volta, which is probably gibberish, but sounds kinda Pink Floydy (Wall era). They used to be At The Drive In, which was a shitty name (too long=too emo). Their former bandmates formed Sparta, which is a decent name, but a shitty band. Then you've got folks in Chicago, like Crush Kill Destroy, which is a great name, except that google searches confuse them with Camp Kill Destroy, who are shittier and more popular. When choosing a band name, Google is king. If you ever play out, there are going to be doped up hacks like me searching for info on you, and you want us to be able to find it. The For Carnation is an interesting name, but having to pronounce the first word "Tay" is pretentious and sissified (it's from a poem and means "tea," which is what they should have named themselves, except that it also sucks). Big Black and Shellac are both awesome names, but unfortunately are taken. Songs About Fucking might be nice, but it's gonna put you into hipster novelty, and no one will come to your shows. Bands like Godspeed You! Black Emperor and A Silver Mount Zion are only cool now because of the bands, though picking something cryptic always helps. Caveat: it can make you sound Canadian. Remember, though, that picking a good name won't necessarily help you play well. Coheed & Cambria is a pretty good name, but the band sucks. I recommend doing a lot of drugs and free associating through your song titles. Pick one of your best song titles, then change the title to that song (or never play it again). That way, you won't be one of those Bad Company bands who has to name check themselves. Any more help needed?
  • MCT- WIth that joke, you just dated yourself so much... (When was the last time cassettes were the medium of choice?) Might as well say "Hi-Fi Test Album."
  • Fucking hell! Couldn't you have just come up with a two-word piece of nonesense and then forgotten all about it like the rest of us fools? I second The Wankers, BTW.
  • freebandnames.blogspot.com kinda-semi-but-not-really-self link: a friend co-created this blog and i've posted there a few times.
  • People who aren't complete morans only listen to wax cylinders. You kids with your vinyl records.
  • Loose Stools
  • soiled cotton
  • Recorded music is the devil's work. We sing hymns by the kitchen fire of an evenin', and that's music enough for us.
  • Expectorant!
  • We sing hymns by the kitchen fire of an evenin', and that's music enough for us Pah! Your "music" is naught but the lustful whistling of Satan, luring you shameful pleasure-seekers to eternal burning DOOM. In our Church we plug our ears with wax and pay attention to the inner voice of THE LORD.
  • You Quakers make me wanna puke.
  • PUKING!? 'Tis naught but the Devil's way of tricking the soul out of the stomach. In our Church we feast only on the vomit of stray dogs to emphasise our humility before THE LORD and because we can't get good tacos down our way.
  • Koko: Was that an epithet directed at quid, or a band name suggestion?
  • In our Church we feast only on the vomit of stray dogs to emphasise our humility before THE LORD Don't be so sure that this is the path to salvation. It is written in Proverbs 26:11 "As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly." This would imply that your emesis-devouring activities make you a fool, particularly if you go back for seconds.
  • Back on topic: I like "Chaos Theory" (and my bandmates *really* like it...) How about "Schroedinger's Band?"
  • Koko: Was that an epithet directed at quid, or a band name suggestion? Both! Me and Goody Goodwife make Dog Vomit for our Church from chopped pig's anuses and rancid cheese curd. 'Tis the only way to properly worship.
  • It is written in Proverbs 26:11 You indulge in READING??!?!
  • Well, it *is* my last name...
  • Pick a googlewhack as your band name. They sound weird enough, and there's not much competition for the search engine ranking. benedictive hobos nondairy concertmistress mauritanian scientism falstaffian dipsticks chechnyan locution Or you could form phrases out of words you made up, like veiomy and clafgird.
  • Well, it *is* my last name... At our Church we pluck out our eyeballs so we will not be distracted by sinful "words" and your demonic "alphabet" - Satan's 26 most insidious harlots.
  • My Church laughs at your "church" because you're always bumping into things.
  • Now there's a scriptural precedent for that action ("If thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out"), so you get points for theological consistency. But if you really believe that we are damned through our insistance on "reading" "text," then why do you post on MoFi thus forcing us to communicate with you though that medium? Wouldn't it be less hypocritical for you to post .mpgs of you playing charades or performing mime, and let us hear (or rather see) "teh word of teh L0rd" in that fashion?
  • Now, come on the_bone: this is a thread about band names. Just try and keep your comments relevant and on-topic, OK? I don't want tracy to ban your ass back to the 12th century, dude. Sheesh! N00bs these days!
  • oo! i like Acid Redux pah! They're old enough to call themselves Acid Reflux Damn noisy young'uns *shakes stick, mumbles, continues rocking
  • How about "Schroedinger's Band?" Ooh! The band either rocks or does not rock. But until the band is not heard by a listener, it cannot be said to either rock or not rock, or perhaps could be said to simultaneously both does and does not rock. However, once the amps are turned on, all the quantum choices of rocking collapse to a single option, causing Zombie Richard Feynman to throw up the horns. \m/
  • should be "is heard by a listener."
  • In fact, the grammar of that comment most decidedly does not rock, so you should call your band MCT is a Grammar Douchebag.
  • Slint. Is it a real word? Doesn't really matter. It's got a good sound. Slint. Say it with me: Slint. iirc, "slint" was the common name (as opposed to the medico/anatomical term) given by a National Lampoon writer (Doug Kenney?)for the fluid-exit-hole on the penis. Coulda been "slindle," though. Hey, there's your band name: Slindle
  • Surely you're joking, Mr. middleclasstool!
  • In honor of the new HitchHiker's movie, how about "Disaster Area?"
  • another great (but already used) band name is/was Fallüs...
  • From the bar signs visible on my commute home: Meat Raffle 6am Happy Hour
  • Ooh! Ooh! The Strange Attractors!
  • Come on, monkeys! We're given a golden opportunity to name a band, and we're not even going to consider any of the obvious themes? Apes Among Us Brown Bananas Code Chimp etc.
  • Slint was named after Brian McMahon's goldfish, I believe.
  • pah! They're old enough to call themselves Acid Reflux Damn noisy young'uns They're great. I love their hit song, "Get off My Lawn."
  • 'The Shirtless'
  • The Soddy Circles
  • I saw that at "The Shitless..."
  • Scared shirtless?
  • Hand Me the Remote Kicked Puppies Dog's Pajamas Astroturf Sludgefactory Hoot & Holler made me lol. I *am* a total dork, thanks very much.
  • Hmmmm...how 'bout Moniker Theory of a Day or Theorize Spindletop (all the other Google hits would be about oil!) Sublimate (or Sublimated) ... also, if you named your first album "Wet Cake" (a twisty McArthur Park reference my friends and I find hi-larious for some reason) I'll be your bestest friend.
  • meredithea, those are really good!
  • binary form negative split reciprocal
  • How about Rent This Space Your Name Here ? Why not profit?
  • What is this peanut?* *Query by a university roommate upon first encountering the infinity sign (sideways 8).
  • Mondale!
  • Physical Jerks
  • "Foregone Conclusion" The name of David Brent's band on "The Office." Otherwise something like "Free Beer" so that when people see it on Flyers they will rock up to the pub you're playing at with the mistaken idea that there will be free beverages on offer.
  • The Tired Sickle
  • Podium The Trio Quartet Boxcutter Killaflour Abstention
  • Thanks for all the suggestions. I've always liked band names with multiple meanings, such as "Rush" and "Tool". I used to have a band named "Flux", then the next band was named "ReFlux". Maybe I could pitch those. The silly names are out for this band, although I swear I'm gonna call an instrumental "Aunt Bea's Nipples". Obscure math references are out, too -- nobody will "get" them. (This, from somebody who got tired of explaining what explaining what a "Parabola" is...) I keep coming back to "Chaotic" something: Chaotic Pulse Chaotic Groove Chaotic Society Analog Chaotic Chaos Impact Chaotic Angel Chaotic Nothing um... Chaotic Something Need more monkeys... (A million, right?)
  • Chaotic Monkeys!!!
  • Needs more cowbell. Chaotic Cowbell.
  • Chaotic Orangutwangers Capuchin Chaos Bonobo Bebop
  • Chaotic Undertones Lifeless Chaos I'd have more, but chaos suddenly ceased to sound like a real word. I hate it when that happens!
  • I kinda like 'chaotic nothing'........or even 'chaotic something'. Don't think I'd capitalize the name. I hope you capitalize, though.;>
  • Chaotic Neutral
  • Heh, Chaotic Good (Too geeky?) /Most of my D&D characters were, in fact, chaotic good...
  • No, geek is the new cool. You should go über-geek, if anything. D&D references (Magic Missile), Star Wars references (Leia's bikini), X-Files references (Eyeless Domination), or just call it "I Live With My Parents."
  • What about Chaos Channel?
  • MonkeyFilter: geek is the new cool
  • Oooooo... "Chaos Channel" is GOOD... Or how about "Chaos Chanel"? ;) This evening, my drummer came up with "Shatterpoint". It's got a real nice ring to it, seems to fit our style of music (heavy, fast, complex), and it just might stick. I probably can't help but work the geek factor in there. (Hrm, "Geek Factor" ain't bad...) I want to call our first album "Hello, World." (My Real Job is computer programming.)