May 03, 2005

Revenge of the Sith
"Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. This is the "Star Wars" prequel the haters have been bitching for since "Menace" came out, and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they're lying.
Strong words. And I almost believed him until this:

the jaw-dropping Anakin/Obi Wan fight on Mustafar (where - after cutting his legs and arm off, Ben leaves Skywalker burning alive on the shores of a lava river, with Anakin spitting venomous sentiments at his departing mentor)
And suddenly, I'm wondering how good Lucas's remake of the Holy Grail will be.
posted by George the Curious 18 years ago
  • 'Tis but a scratch... Aw fuck it, it'll still make me want to do a sex wee, no matter what.
  • Sounds like crap to me. Yeah, literally. In the second reel, there's a noise.
  • Yeah, and Lucy isn't going to pull the football from you THIS time, Charlie Brown! You gotta believe!
  • I fail to see what this has to do with the new George Lucas movie "The Revenge of the Sith" in which Anakin Skywalker is trans . . . oh. uh terribly sorry about that. Umm . . carry on.
  • In the interest of fair advertising, you probably should mention there are ***SPOILERS*** in your first link.
  • Something tells me it's not going to be like the fucking black knight scene. Not with the flames and sizzling flesh, deaths of children and heroes. Plus, the black knight fight didn't take up the whole movie, this one's all essentially about Anakin's fall, and it's basically extended battle. Anyone who was surprised by a) lava and b) severing of arms & legs hasn't been paying attention; it's been spilled everywhere for the last 30 years. Lucas actually described all this long before the Starlog issue that Smith recalls. I mean, for fuck's sake, nobody knew Vader was mostly a robot? How do peeps think that happened? Does this shit have to be spelled out for people? Some people will take any fucking opportunity to rag on Lucas' new movies, because it's hip. But most of 'em aren't afraid to use their usual posting name.
  • this goes perfectly with the Time Travel COnvention thread, because maybe they have a machine that can take me to 1992, when I might have possibly considered taking something Kevin Smith said seriously.
  • Most of 'em break their posting limit, then. And some of us have only seen the movies. Most of us haven't read the books, imbibed the hype, written the canonical fanfic, digested the manuals, or attended the cons dressed like Jabba the Hutt. And I'm not being hip; Lucas's last two movies would have made poor puppet theatre. (It's about time we had a flame war about something worthwhile. I was arguing all day today about the positioning of the church in this country.)
  • Kevin Smith liked The Phantom Menace (the last bit of the interview) I mean honestly, he's looking at the new trilogy from a kid fanboy's perspective, not really as a filmmaker. So when Revenge of the Sith is released, I'll probably go and watch it, I may or may not like it... but I'm spending my $9 knowing full well that I'm a victim of nostalgia exploitation
  • I'll see it no matter what. Which isn't to say that I'm a rabid fan of the new ones, but they do have their moments. For every dumb idea like turning awareness of The Force into a blood disease (essentially), there's Natalie Portman in a shredded white jumper making an orgasmic little scream. It all balances out. As soon as I saw Menace, I resigned myself to the general suckiness of the new series compared to the old, nevermind the redeeming factor of Ewan McGregor. But that being said, I still get excited when I hear lightsabre noises coming from the big screen. Those alone are worth my admission. I predict 'low expectations leading to mild surprise.' I'll be satisfied, but not thrilled. But who cares? We'll always have Empire...
  • Some people will take any fucking opportunity to rag on Lucas' new movies, because it's hip man, i am so unhip that my pants are falling down.
  • Yeah, I'm gonna see it, too. However, I can't help but wince when I think about Episodes I and II and how Episode III will probably be more of the same... only DARKER. I'm thinking Lucas is falling into the louder-is-better trap... only here, it's darker-is-better. I got a baaaaad feeling about this.
  • "I mean honestly, he's looking at the new trilogy from a kid fanboy's perspective, not really as a filmmaker." You don't have to be a filmmaker to have a valid opinion about a film. And films are not generally made for filmmakers, they are made for the general public. I might also add, there are no known filmmakers of Lucas' or even Smith's calibre on this forum. So really, that whole angle is tosh. Where's Wedge when I need him?
  • Considering the trend of Star Wars movies, I expect this one to be better than the last one, and way better than the one before that. But, I don't expect it to be miraculous or anything. Just more standard fodder from Geo. Lucas with all the amazing eye-candy and not much substance.
  • drivingmenuts, are you implying that Jedi was better than Empire AND Star Wars? I'm speechless.
  • I will say that every single Star Wars DVD is simply amazing. Packed with content, features, and the most perfect image and sound clarity imaginable. So, even if you aren't a fan of the movies, but have spoiled yourself with an amazing home entertainment center... the movies are a must buy. Just my recommendation :-)
  • Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back were great. Return of the Jedi, Phantom Menace, and Attack of the Clones sucked, especially Phantom. But from everything I've read I actually think this one may be another good one, so I'll probably see it.
  • I might also add, there are no known filmmakers of Lucas' or even Smith's calibre on this forum. You owe HuronBob an apology, you bastard.
  • I saw Star Wars when it first came out and I loved it. I saw it again when they re-released it a few years ago in the cinemas, and it was a huge disappointment. Really bad dialogue. Dumb plot. Banter that's now become old and worn. I realized the reason i liked it the first time was mostly because of the great special effects (for the time). The dialogue especially is very weak. If you've ever seen the old Flash Gordon serials, Star Wars doesn't rise much above that level...
  • And that is exactly what Lucas was aiming for.
  • What exactly was it that made the first couple of Star Wars movies so much better than the more recent efforts? Plotting? Dialogue? Acting? Might it possibly have been the fact that you were ten when you saw the first one? The later movies are insubstantial, visually lavish, effects-heavy space fantasies. So are the earlier ones. George Lucas stands no chance of making anybody happy at this point- if he does the same thing he did before, people will complain that he's got no new ideas; and if he does something different, people will complain that he's forgotten his roots and betrayed the fans. This is why it's a good thing the Beatles never got back together again- even if they had done the impossible and somehow coaxed the lightning back into the bottle, nobody would have done anything but complain about it. Lucas would have a thankless job if it weren't for the millions and millions of dollars...
  • Anyone have the orchestral score for the theme by John Williams? just reading this thread has the theme song in my head and I was wondering if that initial crash includes violins or piccolo or other high-pitched instrument. Maybe it's just the cymbals, but the score would be cool to see. You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done.
  • "Might it possibly have been the fact that you were ten when you saw the first one?" That's it exactly. That's exactly it. I saw SW when I was 7, was hooked for years, just like almost everybody of a certain age. I saw Phantom Menace, enjoyed it, but went, well, it's not the same. The second time I saw it, the Mrs & I sat next to a group outing consisting of 5 or 6 kids in the 8-10 age group and their parents. The kids were with the movie the whole way, every beat, every nuance. They actually laughed at Jar Jar, & cheered at appropriate moments during the pod race, which I personally thought could have been thrown away from the movie. After it was over, the boys came out playing lightsabres (like we all did) and the girls gushing about the costumes. It was then I realised what Lucas had done, what he was really after. He doesn't give a shit about 30-somethings, he likes kids. Star Wars was always for kids. It's for kids, and the hoopy froods among us don't want to admit that. Nevertheless, it's the truth, so let's get over it and just enjoy the end of the story.
  • I'm totally underestimating the power of the Dark Side in hopes of maybe being pleasantly surprised. Yeah, I know I'm just kidding myself. And while I can agree that maybe some of the disconnect with the recent movies is because of the age I was when I saw the original trilogy, that's not completely it. Phantom Menace was barely a story. It was a set up for the movies to come (and kind of a boring one at that). Star Wars was a great story. It stood on its own. Sure, it was cheesy, but it was fun and it was its own movie. Phantom Menace is barely a story within the framework of all of the other movies, nevermind on its own.
  • Phantom Menace is not that bad of a story, despite what anyone says. It doesn't contain the elements desired by a certain expectant demographic, but there is nothing absolutely wrong with the story itself or its telling, technically. One can argue about the merits of having Anakin aged 8 as opposed to age 14 or what-have-you, but that is entirely subjective. As far as being barely a story, that's not true. Phantom Menace is a hugely symbolic film that people basically misinterpret. Lucas doesn't use dialogue to convey a story (perhaps mercifully). The central issue in Phantom Menace that is crucial to the flow of the rest of the story is the state of the Jedi in that era, supposedly protectors of peace and the people, they are shown as a cold bunch of arrogant tools separated from any real 'down to earth' people in almost literal ivory towers, to the point where no one has really ever encountered Jedi in the flesh (hence the babble from the Neimoudians in the opening about having dealt with them before "well, no, but, uh.."). Basically Phantom Menace is about a glorious but shallow society that is ripe for ruin. In context, its simplicity and lack of traditional themic enemies may be seen as credible due to overwhelming plot need: the superiority of Vader (and his master) in later movies. You can't have enemies or plots stronger than those of the later films, this is an inherent flaw in any story seeking to create a backstory for all-powerful heroes the like of which have never been seen.. this is why Darth Maul cannot be anything more than a flashy thug, otherwise he might unseat Vader as ultimate Star Wars badass, which can't be allowed. I see Phantom Menace as akin to Bilbo's birthday party in LOTR.
  • Chyren is right. They're for kids. My son adores the new movies; I hate them. And I can't watch the old ones anymore either. My son loves them so much he even got mad at me for poking fun at Dooku's (what a name, no comment) Vespa of Terror.
  • Also, I find Natalie Portman absolutely devoid of sex appeal. Yes, she is exquisitely lovely to look at. No, she is not in the least bit vibrant or desireable. Yes she is nice eye-candy in a digitally projected movie. No, she does not lend gravitas to every performance she delivers. I still think she was miscast. Pouty little Jewish Princess Carrie Fisher had and still has more charisma in her left big toenail than Natalie Hershlag has in her entire body, AFAIC.
  • Yes, Count Dookie. Although Chris Lee is a badass.
  • >this is why Darth Maul cannot be anything more than a flashy thug, otherwise he might unseat Vader as ultimate Star Wars badass, which can't be allowed Even if it were allowed, it'd be tough to engineer. When Vader shows up in Episode 3 and starts breathing like that, and they play that Darth Vader music that they always play when he's onscreen, the jaded, complaining 30-somethings in the audience (myself included) are going to need a change of shorts. >so let's get over it and just enjoy the end of the story. Well, the end of the story except for the two TV series that are in the works...
  • Also.
  • >Pouty little Jewish Princess Carrie Fisher had and still has more charisma in her left big toenail than Natalie Hershlag has in her entire body Oh, MY, but I had a painful crush on Carrie Fisher. Weird hairdo-danishes and all.
  • mygothlaundry - that's damn funny. Can I use that? (Crediting you, of course.) Chyren, I see what you're saying, but that doesn't change the fact that I think it wasn't a well told story. Yes, all of that information needed to be put out there, but it could've been done in a way that didn't scream "HERE'S ALL THE BORING BACKSTORY THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR THE REST OF THE MOVIES TO MAKE SENSE." Don't ask me how it could've been done better - I'm not a writer or director or producer. But there just had to be a better way to do it, right? Ugh, shut me up, please! I realize what's happening. Like khan-X, I'm also a victim of nostalgia exploitation, and I'm just pissed off about it. I think I'm just upset that Darth Vader ended up being such an unsympathetic, whiny, little brat.
  • In the interest of fair advertising, you probably should mention there are ***SPOILERS*** in your first link. You mean OMG! Anakin is Darth Vader, now who would have thought that! Thanks for ruining it for me :(
  • "I think it wasn't a well told story." I respect your opinion that it wasn't a well-told story. However, my opinion is that, stripped of expectations, it was a far better told story than could be expected. Many could have made a better story, but I don't think many could have made us care very much about it. And we do care so very much. Interesting.
  • Chyren, you're right. These movies are kids' movies. I'm probably not going to see Empire for what would be the second time, because yeah, it would just destroy the memory.
  • I fifth or sixth Chyren's comment that these are for kids.. I also agree with Stan the Bat that hearing Vader's breathing, The Music, and seeing That Mask are gonna bring me right back to the awed and slightly (blissfully) terrified kid I was when episodes iv/v/vi came out. Remember?...Waking up in the middle of the night... "what's that noise? It's coming from UNDER THE BED!" "that sounds like ... no! wait! it can't be him!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggghhh!! " (Promptly wets self) and that was last night. Better remember the Depends for episode iii.
  • Feel free msvader - I stole it from a friend of mine after all - but it is just so. . . appropriate. Nobody's wetting themselves over Count Dookie. No, no, I'm sorry, not even the kids.
  • Yeah, the movies are for kids. But watch Episode IV again. Regardless of the thin dialogue and the mopey acting by Hamill, it MOVES. The plot ticks along like a machine. Episodes I & II are overlong and poorly plotted. They meander like they'd rather show us the CGI scenery (ooh! pretty!) than deal with what the movie is about. Whatever that is. And, yeah, of course I'll see it in the theater. I'll wait a week or two for the audiences to thin out, but I'll give Lucas my $10.50. I'm curious. And I'm still chasing the thrill of A New Hope, even if there is little hope.
  • Personally, I'm looking forward to the Revenge of the Sikh.
  • Is that the working title for the Turkmenistan release?
  • Turkemnistan Release costs extra. Uhh.. I mean we don't do that kind of thing here, we're a perfectly respectable massage parlor.
  • I don't think Star Wars was originally only for kids. I was in my thirties when I saw it with my 11 year old daughter, and it brought back all those memories of 5 or more years worth of Saturday matinees, with 2 B movies, 10 cartoons, an episode from the current serial and a Pete Smith Special.(The last was an ancestor of petebest.)The original Star Wars and Indiana Jones struck me as being targetted directly at the pre-tv generations. The sequels/prequels in both series moved away from that. The early ones seemed to me to be directed toward the early DisneyLand kids who had kids. Later episodes tried to get to goth/punk/genx contingents, as far as I can tell. Though, I kind of lost interest since they didn't relate to my early memories, so I could be way wrong. Is the newest one directed toward first person shooters players? Almost sounds like it. The Ewok thing in whichever Star Wars episode that was reminded me of earlier computer games, so has that been updated? If I'd paid enough attention, I'd ask you which official episode of Star Wars related back to what you watched when you were a kid. I kinda of think that the second movie related back to 1950s/60s science fiction tv programs (the icy planet and robotic steeds), for example. If that was where Lucas was going, he doesn't appear to have been as successful in catching the spirit of each generational shift as he was with those of us who are in his age group,
  • If anybody cares, my review of Revenge Of The Sith is up here. Short version: about bloody time, George.
  • Good, it is. Up, George Lucas has not fucked it lol!
  • flashboy: thanks. Your review has fully unleashed the excited little kid in me. Now I'm really looking forward to it, despite the scars from the last two.
  • I second that emotion. I'm now in giddy fanboy mode.
  • Good review. I'm making lightsaber noises and annoying my wife right now. I find her lack of faith disturbing.
  • You prefer another target? A military target?!? Then name the system! I grow tired of asking this . . . so it'll be the last time . . .
  • Hehheh. My housemate has invited me to a midnight screening next Wednesday/Thursday. Yay!
  • Grr. I'm itching to see this damn thing, and I do NOT want to wait nine days just to stand in line for two hours.
  • It begins.
  • Not to farkify the thread, but I'm digging the shaved head look on young Ms. Portman.
  • Mmmggmmmm...hit it I would... [sorry]
  • Revenge of the shit
  • IFYLOFD.
  • Indeed.
  • Oh, man. .
  • I'm not sure what io9.com is about, but on the Star Wars link's page is the following reference to Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles tv show: "It was the first time I really thought this show might go down in history as one of the best science fiction shows of all time." Huh? I watched the whole first season. It was mediocre at best. Nothing like the drive of the first 2 terminator movies. Am I missing something? So I watched the embedded video clip on that same page. Best science fiction shows of all time? Fucking please.
  • I've only watched it once and thought it was pretty weak.