April 26, 2005

• I love the Bible exposition. First class stuff. Were I still a Xtian, I'd be bumming it like a goodun. What's the Bible say about female/male strap-on action?
• Registrant: Domains by Proxy, Inc. Registered through: GoDaddy.com Domain Name: SEXINCHRIST.COM Domain servers in listed order: NS1.QUICKSERVE.COM NS0000.NS0.COM very strange site........self link? heh.
• Yes, those girls who gave religion classes to the neighbourhood's kids were really something... now I know why... Erm.. any chance it's legit? Because that second article would really come in handy... "look, it's sinful if you spit!"
• I guess this means Clinton was right, after all. Well, I don't buy any of it -- particularly the Bible interpretation which shows more than a touch of wishful thinking -- but having recently dated a girl who had a sudden and jarring relapse into Catholic mores, I can see how this could be of great use to the Frustrated. I sure could have used it on my ex... (And yes, this means I dumped the girl because she wouldn't put out. Shallow and petty? Sure I am. But I'm comfortable with that.)
• very strange site........self link? Uh...noooooo. Not Jesus last time I checked. And I don't FPP self links because that would mean I'm an asshole. But thanks for asking.
• mj.........there was a 'heh' after that question....it wasn't even close to a troll's ankle. :- )
• Good to know.
• I wonder if this applies to nuns? Then I could really get into the habit.
• Does this apply to nuns? I'd like to get into the habit.
• (And yes, this means I dumped the girl because she wouldn't put out. Shallow and petty? Sure I am. But I'm comfortable with that.) I dunno. It took me a long time to figure out what I really wanted out of a relationship, and to become comfortable with those needs. One of the things it turned out I needed in a relationship was physical intimacy. Yeah, I know, duh, but for a long time I was trapped into thinking that the desire for physical intimacy was base and sinful, and so I wasted a lot of time being unhappy with my virginal girlfriend, thinking the unhappiness was my own dirty fault, when really it was just that I needed something in a relationship that she didn't. Anyway, after I figured that out and got comfortable with it, I realized that it would be foolish and unfair of me to remain in relationships where the other person's needs and desires were out of whack with mine. Therefore, if physical intimacy wasn't going to be in the cards for it, I didn't hang around. So it sounds shallow, but think about it--I wasn't goign to be happy without it, and the other person wasn't going to be happy with me always wanting it, so wasn't just stopping the whole thing the smart thing to do? Not only would I be happier with someone else, but so would she. The thing I didn't do was pressure anyone into sex (tried that for a long time, before my epiphany--didn't work, massive waste of time, much unhappiness on both sides, big regrets). I just knew what I wanted, and didn't spend time chasing things that weren't it. Now intimacy wasn't the ONLY thing I wanted from a relationship, but it was important to me, and that was fine. So yeah, I'm all about dumping someone if they won't put out--or if they want to, but you're not into it. Either way.
• This is an interesting site... I'm not convinced that it isn't serious. There is no clue as to the source of this. The whois gives us little info. There also aren't any clues in the source code of the page. Searching google with some of the phrases from the page gets a couple of hits from blogs referring to the page, not many, and no additional info. I would be curious about where the input to the form at the bottom gets sent. The content is right on the edge, nothing abusive towards xtians, nothing really erotic about it. If this is satire, it's well done. If it's for real, there is a motive behind this that I don't want to know about!
• tenacious, just curious, how old were you at the time? if you were, say, 12 years old, that's one thing; 35 is another
• Well, I don't know about TP personally, but his situation was a lot like mine. Fair to say that I was thirty, and she was -- not. (And no, no-one's precious flower was involved.) Her sudden need to revert to being a Good Catholic Girl was, shall we say, convenient, and didn't have the air of truth about it. After an honest try to stick it out (so to speak), I bailed. I thought I could have a no-sex relationship, but I couldn't. I had no more need for high-school relationships. I don't need a girlfriend to not have sex. I can do that all on my own -- hell, I'm not having sex RIGHT NOW! And if I'm going to have to revert to fantasy for relief, well, I'd rather go with my ol' standby, Catherine Deneuve. In short, I agree with TP's story -- my experience was quite similar. I just slapped the label of shallow and petty on myself because a) it was the Coles Notes version of the story, and b) it makes me sound more bad-boy than I really am. Allright -- enough of the thread derail -- let's get back to talking girls into taking it up the pooper!
• SideDish: At the time I was figuring it all out, 17-20 (yes, it took me THAT LONG. :) ) Had my epiphany at about the time I turned 21, which was convenient. Never looked back. :)
• Yes, please engineer the derriere in a reverse direction. ybab, pu ssa taht kcab
• It is also technically moneyjane's second post of the day. I shall exact my punishment by crying out someone else's name at the conclusion of my masturbatory exercises today.
• I would be curious about where the input to the form at the bottom gets sent. Does it matter? Technically, this whole site is about the "input" to the "form at the bottom." So to speak.
• Don't you dare Bernockle! You're my bitch and you know it. I tend to get a bit confused with the next day thing because I'm usually posting up late - but I'll just make sure it's been twenty four hours, and I'm golden, you hear me? Golden!
• The second-to-last paragraph of the "oral sex" essay is outstanding.
• the_bone, that's an interesting interpretation. I would be inclined to think he was talking about an artesian well. /pauses, re-reads typing, thinks about it ...as to the subject of back-door entry (or any other sexual deviation, for that matter), I'm of the opinion that one shouldn't knock it until one has tried it. After all, I doubt millions of people are saying it's a good time just to sucker the rest of us in to share in the misery.
• This is (un?)intentionally hilarious. I always suspected the god-people obsessed about sex.
• And boney-maroney, you are funny.
• I wonder how long before the amount of Christian parody content on the internet surpasses the amount of actual Christian content?
• There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night. Not to get all humorless feminist or nothin', but does that piss anyone else off?
• Damn sullied feminists! These people are too retarded to piss me off.
• I'm going to hell.
• Monkeyfilter: pure, unsullied maidenhead
• peacay: well, if it works for the Texans...
• There's doubt whether this is satire? It's satire.
• Jesus wants you to earn your brown wings.
• Jesus recommends 3 Wise Men "Spike 'Em Hard!" oil for lubrication.
• There's doubt whether this is satire? What? There's doubt people are ridiculous? The Word of God has a fine history of being taken out behind the shed and pummeled for gain. And gain may well be defined as horny Christian boys getting to stick it somewhere warm and send their 'living waters' into the righteous receptacle known as a good Christian woman. May well be a hoax...but if so, they're not dropping the usual hints hoax sites do. Most hoax sites are constructed to show how clever the hoaxer is, and not revealing said site's a hoax brought to you by Some Clever Whippersnapper means there's no public payoff. So, to me, jury's still out. I tell you what, those Christian Youth Hayrides are just bound to be more fun now! Wheee!
• Jesus recommends 3 Wise Men "Spike 'Em Hard!" oil for lubrication. Makes all that 'annointing' action more interesting.
• Indeed.
• ...annointing action...mmmmm....
• Hot annointing action?
• Hot annointing action? Is that what all those Catholic priests were doing?
• Reminds me of a pome I read in a mofi thread recently (I apologize for not searching for the author): "The pointy birds go pointy pointy Anoint my head--anointy nointy." *sniff* That's beautiful.
• Hot annointing action? Verily, He is arisen. Heh.
• Ann Coulter is a true servant of the Lord.
• HA! homunculous, I just laughed like a rabid hyena. That would be LLARH, people. Memorize it, quiz tomorrow.
• I posted the pointy bird poem. It's actually from a Steve Martin film
• Thank you, kitfisto. Thank you so much.
• If I can spread a little bird shit-based joy as I go through life...
• and such an appropos thread, too!
• Do You Take It?
• New: Fisting and God's Will
• So far, I have catalogued approximately 29.6 different kinds of awesome in that link.
• Dang, missed it! MonkeyFilter: Shallow and petty? Sure I am. But I'm comfortable with that.
• George Bush Butt Plug
• Well, since his head is up his own ass, it might as well be up everyone else's ass.
• har. I could never so defile my butt or insult my lovely poop by introducing the foul sulfurous -harharharhar- stench of shrub....
• *dreams of Medusa's loverly püp*