April 14, 2005

• I apologize for the length, but you can see I'm at my wits end. Thanks in advance for any advice or good prank ideas. ;)
• 1. send W this link 2. run 3. profit!
• I feel for you - I've never worked a gov't job, but my mom did, and was frequently bummed by her coworker's conforming to the stereotype of government workers, while she tried hard to do a good job. the best thing I can say is "document, document, document". specifics - dates, times, things said or done (or not done). I've had to do this before, and my supervisors took much more swift and concrete action against my problem worker when I had dates and times, all in a nice report that summarized at a glance how non-productive and disruptive he was.
• Sounds like you need to go over your supervisor's heads. If you do make sure you have most of your department willing to do this with you. You do not want to do this alone. As for pranks: Nothing spreads joy like decorating a cube with little circles from a hole punch(or even better from all the hole punches in the office.) Another one that seems to irritate office mates is to constantly readjust their chairs whenever they are not around. I have seen people struggle for a week to get their chairs just right again.
• What housepig said. Also, when presenting your documentation, try to focus on how he's affecting other people (i.e., "I can't finish my work when he's shooting paper airplanes at my head") rather than his character flaws. And when you do bring it up, ask specifically what will be done about it as opposed to just complaining. On preview, LokiSpeak's comment about involving others is very good too. Good luck!
• You're looking at this the wrong way. Just consider, there is no way you could be as much of a screwup as him. Therefore, if "W" is still employed, that means NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, your job is assured. :-)
• I'm guessing like most gov't workers, there's an "Employee Relations" department in your HR division or group. While you may not be able to get him removed from your life, with the right HR buzzwords (like "hostility" to you and "creates a mentally unhealthy work environment" for you, or "causes undue stress" for you, HR people HATE having to hear something that might remotely sniff of liability, so I'm pretty sure they'll respond), you can at least get him moved away from you again. But the will to really take the matter under control unfortunately resides above your pay grade. And so long as your co-worker isn't making any of THEM look bad (and they care enough to do something about it), you're basically stuck with him at least taking a paycheck for doing nothing.
• fired, as in 'they fired him' originally came from the practice of actually setting ablaze the residence of someone the town agreed they disliked. I think the thought process was since they couldn't force someone to move through persuasion they did it by force. I have seen very similar situations to yours and the only advice I have is that if you don't do anything, nothing will happen. They will remain employees, will continue to be unproductive and management will continue to give them work to do in hopes that they will change and they won't.
• Like everyone else, I'll say "document and complain." Go through whatever channels you have, but don't be afraid to escalate. If the idiot throws paper airplanes at you, complain about the assault. If he's making inappropriate comments or viewing inappropriate web sites, that's actionable. Read through the stuff you signed when you started work; chances are pretty good you can find a lot of things that he's doing that are prohibited. In this day and age, no organization, public or private, can afford to ignore employee complaints. As long as your complaints have some level of validity, you're pretty unlikely to get fired for it. The worst possible thing you and your coworkers can do is continue to ignore or tolerate this behavior.
• I would focus on how his behavior/actions are impacting on your work. If you get into being critical of his skills, work habits, you'll probably not have much effect. If you point out to your supervisor that your work is suffering as a result, and make suggestions as to how things might change if possible. And, do it all in writing, keep copies. Then, try and let go of it, it will just drive you nuts. Take pride in what YOU do, let the jerk do his thing.. if nothing else you have the pleasure of knowing that when he dies he will burn in an eternal hell for this behavior....!!!!!!
• another nod to document and complain. Encourage others to do the same, and if an incident occurs with more than one of you present, both should document it. I was actually able to oust a problematic boss this way (after a horrible, incriminating meeting we'd rush to our desk like eager mice and type away). chimaera has a point, talk about how it affects your work and the work of others. I'd also submit a copy of the email sent from a private account. Show that you are concerned about morale in the department, etc. And good luck! reading your post gave me flashbacks, I'm very sorry you're in this situation now.
• fired, as in 'they fired him' originally came from the practice of actually setting ablaze the residence of someone the town agreed they disliked. No, actually it comes from the sense 'fire (a gun),' the idea being that you're expelled forcibly from your position. Cf. the early OED citations, which make much more sense from that point of view than the one you suggest: 1885 Milner (Dakota) Free Press 25 Apr. 5/2 If.. the practice is persisted in, then they [pupils] should be fired out. 1887 Lisbon (Dakota) Star 11 Feb. 4 Postmaster Breed says the next time such a thing occurs he will fire the offender bodily. 1889 Pall Mall G. 29 Apr. 2/1 A Commissioner who should be discovered to have reported a subordinate unjustly would be fired from his high post. As for the question, I disagree with those who are urging you to do everything in your power to get rid of the guy. I understand your feelings, but the fact is that such people often manage to get through these situations unscathed, while those who exert themselves against them often get discouraged in the attempt -- and sometimes their own careers suffer. Nobody likes a troublemaker, and let's face it, if you push it too far it's you who's going to be seen as the troublemaker. If you're determined and prepared for any consequences, fine, but I don't think you should pay much attention to commenters here who are happy to moralize at your (potential) expense. (I speak as one who was part of an officewide attempt to get rid of a woman who was a demonstrably terrible administrator and had cost the company money: lots of time, effort, and agita for no demonstrable result.)
• I actually agree with the 'hat. There's not much chance that you can get him fired, but I do think that getting him moved from your immediate vicinity is an achievable goal without too much headache.
• Other people have given you good advice. I'm here to give you questionable advice. Couple questions: Are you union? Do you get on well with the rest of the hires? Does everyone really hate him? If you're union, this should be easier. Talk to everyone in the department, and just slow down. Maybe even stop working. Ape his behavior. If you all do it, you won't be fired, and make sure that your managers know that things will change once W is impeached. I mean, fired. (C'mon, I'm not the only one imagining GW Bush here, am I? I can totally see him not contributing to White House potlucks, then being first in line...)
• I've learned the hard way that the old adage is true: The squeeky wheel does get the grease. Those are all great suggestions above as to how to go about it. Document, then take it up levels and ask what will be done. Then keep doing it. Just don't forget to continually talk up your accomplishments as well.
• No union. I am very friendly with the rest of my coworkers. No one here likes him as I said. Some people put up with him, others have no opinion (since they're not in the immediate vicinity and therefore don't see on a daily basis what an idiot he is), and yet others are too nice or too afraid to say anything. The last thing I want to do is make myself look bad. Part of me doesn't want to expend any energy at all on him. But the other part of me - the part that gets all fired up - wants to see him get his just desserts. So, I've been trying to ignore him completely, but he just keeps throwing things out there that are getting harder and harder to ignore. (Can you feel my pain?) Sometimes I think that this is an elaborate ploy to build up a united team by pitting us against this "planted" coworker-from-hell. Then I just remember that I'm a conspiracy nut. But it sounds good, doesn't it? ;)
• I have to agree with the "desenters" I know what it's like to deal with dipshit coworkers, and it can / will drive you crazy. Obviously this job is worth keeping, and you don't want to seem like a troublemaker; Plus, behind closed doors, people are brave. While you've had conversations with co-workers, are they willing to rally together to thwart this office twit? In reality, probably not; Everyone is looking out for number one. Don't overlook the point, that the more this asshat W 'acts out' the better you look as an employee. You have to pick your battles; Plus, you never know who this guys knows, what he knows about others, or what he does "behind the scenes, or on the sly." There are reasons why people get away with things, and while managerial impotence seems the cause, make sure you've got a firm understanding of "everything" before you go and raise hell.
• The extended lunchtime shenanigans alone would get him fired at my office. Any chance you could document his "schedule" for a week and then give it to your supervisor? In the meantime, lobby to have him moved as far as possible from you. While you're at it, see if you can get him moved to a different spot in the office each week. Keep him busy packing & unpacking his stuff, since he clearly has nothing else to do.
• About the "talking their ear off while they're trying to enjoy their lunch or do work" - if this is happening to you specifically, and not just the too-nice other people, definitely try the direct approach of asking him to stop. (You did mention your badly-received constructive criticism, but to me that sounds different from a direct request - a sternly voiced "I need you to stop talking to me right now because it's interering with my work." vs. a nice "We could get more work done if there was less talking.") That seems kind of too obvious, but the description didn't include much mention of people telling him to his face that they want him to stop certain behaviors. Of course document things as well, for yourself and HR, and leave out things that are more personal than professional in the version you give to HR. I can see how the mismanagement of this new hire might fall under a negative stereotype of government bureaucracy, but I'm not so sure how someone "fresh out of college" is an example of what they say about government workers. You sound like you're doing the best you can by ignoring him. Good luck with this sucky situation.
• MsVader - your office isn't at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, is it? I think I've heard about this W person.
• (Go Postal)
• wants to see him get his just desserts mmmmmmmmm
• Maybe something between the 'hat and most other comments is the key. Make a file, document his slackness, and hold onto it for a time when you feel you would have no trouble handing it over to HR or a higher-level manager than your current supervisors. Casually mention the file to a few co-workers over lunch, see if they're willing to make their own and that's a step towards a united front. Basically cover your own ass and take it a step at a time. Personally, I wouldn't hesitate to get someone like this removed. He's bringing down the productivity of the entire department and if other departments are noticing it, you may even find that your department gets the flak as a whole. Not to mention the fact that he's earning money for sitting and reading the paper while you're working your ass off. I can't stand that. If he's still on probation then it's no skin off their nose to remove him because it's within their legal obligations. Ugh, government jobs.
• I am a civil servant myself, and I would never put up with this guy. Apparently your office is not involved in customer service, because at least where I work, we are held strictly accountable by both our managers and the public. If that slacker worked where I do, he'd promptly invoke the wrath of righteous citizens and investigative reporters, and be out on his ass posthaste. People watch our every move. Sorry you have to deal with this loser AND incompetent managers. BeaMaybe you could sabotage him or something ;)
• Can I get an application for where you work, MsVader? Sounds like eaaaaaasy money. Personally, I'd never nark on a coworker. I don't really have a good reason for that, other than a suspicion that has been confirmed at every job I ever had that the management is the enemy, and the lowly workers have enough to worry about without eating their own. Well, that plus the time Susie Watkins tattled on me for peeing under the monkey bars, when I had convinced everyone else to say it was just a squirrel. Self-righteous little bitch. Yeah, take personal justice if you must, but I'd say leave the higher ups out of it. It's their job to figure out who's dead weight. If they can't do that, they'll know when the only ones left are slackers.
• Eight months of biting your lip, then start calling him "fuckhead" instead of W. And make sure he knows you mean it. He is much more insecure than he looks, and this might just push him out.
• OK, I admit it: I don't know what I would do short of kicking the bloke's head in.
• Along with many other people, I think you should document, complain, and convince everyone you can to do the same. If your manager has five people in one day come in with complaints on paper, you might see the tail end of this loser before his trial period is up. If your boss won't listen to your desperation, go above them. The ultimate would be to convince your division or department that a work survey needs to be taken. We do this regularly at my work. You have to write down what activities you are up to and for how long. Everything, even going through your email, has to be written down for an entire week. It isn't a sure thing to bring this guy's incompetence to the forfront but it might make him work harder for a while.
• Going over your boss' head. ALWAYS a smart move. :S
• Pfft, sounds like the supervisor's not very effective either. I know, let's start from scratch. MoFites unite, we'll take over MsVader's department and rename it the US Government, Monkey Division, or something.
• I say we all show up and picket.
• You can, of course, always drop a line about this to the local press. They're usually bored enough to investigate things like this waste. At least, Fox ProblemCausers is around here...
• I would love to address him as "Fuckhead" or "Tinkerbell" (he has a little bell on his keychain that tinkles as he walks around). The problem there is that he'd somehow turn it against me and get me written up for harassment. No way I'm giving him that kind of ammo. TP - that's how I used to feel. I would never rat on a coworker. This guy has made me change my mind. This self-righteous little twat needs a good beatdown. However, I don't want to be the target of his revenge either. You just never know who knows who (as Allesklar said). cynnbad - we are in a customer service area actually. We just deal with other departments, not the public. I can't figure out how this has been allowed to go on for so long. If nothing else, you guys have at least given me a few laughs and eased my mind a bit. At least I know I'm not the only one that's had to put up with this crap.
• Learn to live with this guy, transfer or quit. He's obviously a person who can do what he does with no sense of guilt or responsibility and that's never going to change. Since he's a new worker himself, at some time in the near future he'll probably either be sacked or transfered. I just thought of something...he might have been transfered from some other place to your office for the same reasons you listed. OMG. He's like cancer. Anyway, you're the only one who can ease your own pain in this situation by changing how he affects your daily life. Don't make him turn you into a whiner; don't let him take up more time in your head than is absolutely necessary; realize you're not alone in your disgust of him and accept that he'll never change. He feels no guilt, he feels omniscient and that's that. Good luck. I Work With Fools too.
• I've had irritating coworkers, but except for the talking loudly, I don't really care what they do. Sure it might be irritating to see someone screw around and get paid the same, but really, is it worth getting worked up about? If the guy is that irritating, complain, but there is no way I would become so obsessed as to keep track of it or anything. I'm not there though, so maybe if I were I would see what the bid deal is. It ain't my problem, it is the bosses problem. If I'm asked to do the loser's work, then that's where I get shitty with the boss and say, "It ain't my job to do his work. I got my own stuff to do."
• I had a similar problem in a job awhile back and did what others are recommending, document dates, times and places and incidents. It sounds like in a government job there would be 'free time' where you could document to your heart's content. I did it for a period of about nine months, submitted the info to my bosse's boss, had a meeting with him and shortly after everyone in that department was made to look like the little piece's o' poo that they were and I was transfered out to a much nicer position where I was given much more responsibilities. Each and every day I documented those lazy suckups was another day I could go home with a smile on my face knowing that they just gave me more rope that day to hang them and hang them high.
• Create a blog using W's name and bad-mouth the department/agency and all of the co-workers...say nasty things about the managers..etc...then pretend to stumble across the blog (from home), and then go tell the boss/es. Reluctantly, of course, as you don't want him to get in trouble, of course...you're just thinking of what's best for the department/agency. Heh...
• What Hikkomori said. And what Chimaera said too. But hey, you've only been in this job for a few months, i'd say the chances of getting his ass moved are going to be pretty low. I'd do the stealth documentation route but not bring it up until you've got more months under your belt. Unless say, you've already proven yourself indispensable to two levels of management above you. You said you spent the last ten years in the private sector. Isn't the biggest diff between private and public sectors the rate at which they fire people? I.e. the private sector - all the time; the public sector - erm, not so much.
• Ach. I havent read everynes comments, I wanted to race to the end and add my own so this may be a repeat of others advice. I know people like this. 1) Request to be moved, cite his behaviour as distracting. Don't be judgemental. Don't make an enemy of him, he is bored and will enjoy fuxoring with your life. 2) DONT attack him to your supervisors. They know about him and choose to do nothing or are UNABLE to do nothing. Attacking him, will seem like your attacking them, and you may well end up being the worst off 3) Ask yourself (in a self reflective honest moment) if you are really sure that your interpretation of his behaviour is he same as everyone else's or if its just that you think hes a dick and things are getting out of personal perspective (Ive no reason to think it isnt, but you shouldn't rule it out) 4) Do not start a Mutiny 5) Document everything 6) Watch "The Office" (UK Version) realize that they make comedy about LESS embarassing situations than the one you have to endure every day. Pat yourself on the back for getting as far as you have without exploding. 7) At the earliest opportunity move back to the private sector. "For Profit" has this uncanny knack of getting rid of most of the assholes really quick. Not all though. 8) Its often said, about management, that ironically they spend the largest amount of time, on the people that are the least deserving, while ignoring their superstars. Thats true. Make sure your not doing the same. How much of your work day do you spend thinking about this ring-piece? Too long I'll wager. Think about something else for your own sake. He'll get promoted or fired. Either way, your not going to solve the ills of government employment by getting rid of this a-hole. Hope your not reading this at work ;-) G'luck!
• I've dealt with this problem recently from a management perspective. Several people that work with "W" came to me separately with the same complaints. I interviewed them to get specifics, then basically developed a contract with W addressing his deficiencies. If he doesn't meet the goals set out in the contract, he's out the door. It's been very effective so far. If there is some way that you could steer your supervisor in this direction, it's a very safe (legally) method of getting rid of a poor performer. I work in the private sector, but with extremely rigid HR policies.
• KamikazeGopher: I work with Ms_Vader and everything she said about W is true. As to your suggestion, it sounds good, but our supervisor is ineffectual on her best day. W has been spoken to about certain things, but his actions haven't changed at all. He's under the assumption that he's entitled to anything and everything he wants. I've never seen such arrogance in another person in all my 55 years! No one in our department likes him. Several have stopped speaking to him except when forced to regarding professional matters. A few tolerate him and one feels she has to be nice to him to avoid a possible going-postal situation from him! Like Ms_Vader, I am ready and willing to go to our supervisor about this loser. Unfortunately, there are 5 of us (W being one) and two of the rest of us 4 are hesitant about making waves. If we can't do this as a united front, it can't be done. This poor excuse for a human being is rude, obnoxious, arrogant, entitled, condescending, bigoted, chauvanistic, and on, and on, and on! He's like a disease in our department, slowing infecting everyone and management has failed to do anything about it. It seems they'd rather coddle this noxious low-life than take the health of the rest of the department into consideration. Not only have I never (thank God!) known another individual like W, I have also never worked for such useless management in all my life. I appreciate all your suggestions. I am documenting and hopefully before W's year is up, something positive will happen.
• I think languagehat is absolutely right on this. Don't risk being perceived as the problem. Keeping a dossier of evidence against a colleague isn't necessarily going to look good, let alone some of the other suggestions made above. But then, I'm one of those pesky government workers who thinks nothing of taking an hour for lunch and spending it laughing at websites. Well, alright, not laughing so much as smirking. And I certainly don't go to the gym afterwards. :)
• Pavloveia - I understand that this guy rattles your cage, but you need to be able to separate the personal FEELINGS about him from his PERFORMANCE to succeed, else you'll start to come across as vindictive and negative to your management. This will end in tears. "rude, obnoxious, arrogant, entitled, condescending, bigoted, chauvanistic" are all subjective critiques of his character - and the subjective part reflects back on you. Rude to Customers, Condescending to new staff, Uses bigoted language when refering to co-workers are all more specific, less vitriolic, behavioural performance issues, that can and will eventually get him fired (They also involve a victim that isn't 'you' in every case). Dont let your anger and frustration betray you, it will not serve you well.
• Become like him. He is relaxed and having fun at the office, while you grimly toil away for a few bones. Join a gym. Laugh at websites during your lunch hour. Sleep in the conference room. Talk about how you liked to play "dress-up" as a kid when a coworker brings in their snot-nosed brat.
• Why do people think the private sector has less morons in the office? Maybe they've never had to work with the bosses' son/daughter who gets hired to sit around doing nothing during the summer so they have uni spending money. That kind of crap never happens in the public sector, but the owners of private businesses can do whatever they want.
• Sorry - that should be fewer.