April 13, 2005

Rumored for weeks, confirmed by the source: Britney pregnant
posted by Mostly_Muppet 19 years ago
  • that's going to be one dumb kid, that's for sure.
  • mmm.
  • I have seen kids that turn out to be much more mature than their parents. I hope this will the case.
  • Remember you heard it here first - IT WILL BE A MALE CHILD! BEHOLD THE MESSIAH!
  • yay. apocalyptic cows and now this. world's going to hell in handbasket. just you watch.
  • For the record: I am still not pregnant.
  • THE STARS ARE ALIGNED! YE SHALL KNOW THY LORD'S VENGEANCE AND WRATH IN DUE TIME, INFIDELS! SOMEBODY FIX MY CAPS LOCK KEY!
  • i feel unusual - try "format C:"
  • Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
  • You know, I value my training as an anthropologist. I treasure the differences between human beings and see those differences as something to be admired. But I gotta say it. That woman is trash. Ah, I feel so much better now.
  • I don't want to participate in an fpp that I don't think is appropriate (I don't care what celebrities are doing in their personal lives), but I would like to put in my two cents about her. Believe it or not, I did not really know what she looked like until a year or so ago. I was at first struck by how she has a non-waifish, healthy, muscular body. I thought how great it was that she would be considered a sex symbol among those who are poster children for eating disorders. And now when I see a tabloid I read that they are talking about her weight struggles. So sad. When a female celebrity comes dangerously close to a healthy weight, we read about her weight troubles. When a female celebrity has some sort of actual eating disorder, everyone seems pretty happy with that her appearance.
  • THANKS FOR THE ADVISE PATH BUT NOW JESUS HAS CALLED MY HARD DRIVE HOME.
  • who the fuck cares
  • Baby Spears makes Baby Jesus cry.
  • She's just a stupid kid who's been given enough rope to hang herself with. Best case scenario: having a child will be a character building experience that forces her to get a clue.
  • Ok, so I doink'd her. Actually, since I'm gonna be the pope (sorry quidnunc) I thought that it'd be a nice topper. She if sort of a Mary Magdalen material girl and all...
  • 1) Whew. 2) It took about a minute of my life to read this nonsense. I'd like that minute back now, please. 3) Just so I can completely purge this experience from my brain, I'm depositing this quote here, so I never have to think of it again. "He says what he really enjoys about her pregnancy is chugging beers and telling Brit 'You can't have one!'" Wow. Just - wow.
  • Oh, I'm just all a-titter! I'm just going to cry tears of joy all night long over the Britster! Oh, they look like such a lovely, wholesome couple *sniff*. And to think, now I'll never have a chance with Britney 'cause we all know that now that she's married, and with child, well . . . I guess me and the rest of the guys will just have to move along *sigh* . . .
  • ..."She is"...
  • ...........................................................................................................................................................................................................
  • White Trash Britney is really fun. So is shadenfreude. I wonder if she's going to pull a Madonna and get all conservative on us.
  • I. Don't. Care.
  • You're so careless, Doris.
  • 1. Madonna's conservative? 2. WTB's not? I thought she was conservatism's pop-representative, to have sung at the republican convention and everything.
  • Britney is as conservative as someone can be without actually following any politics. I don't know Madonna's politics, but I do know she's into Qabbalah, yoga, and riding her bike, so I'd suspect she's not conservative.
  • Besides the "who fucking cares" aspect, will this potential parent take a moment to give her child a name that actually exists? "Britney" sounds like an illiterate's notion of something that sounds sorta European. An' shit.
  • My unborn baby can beat up Britney's unborn baby.
  • My sperm can beat up hot chicks' ova. Just gimme a chance, ferchrissakes.
  • weak. no offense, muppet. but... come on. :/
  • In other news, feminist author Andrea Dworkin died a couple of days ago. She was 58. And not Britney Spears.
  • Aw.
  • oh right - wrong muppet.
  • Britney who?
  • more news worthy of a FPP coming up on the next hour: Jackson admits his love for monkeys...
  • Who gives a rats ass.
  • I can't wait to hear what the kid will be named. Actually, come to think of it, I can.
  • eeeeeeeeeaaaAAaAAAAAahHHHHHHHHHH-HA! Oof! /dogpile
  • *gets out the hose*
  • Meanwhile Real news quietly passes us by
  • I have seen kids that turn out to be much more mature than their parents. I hope this will the case. What are the odds of this?
  • Loki - perhaps you could prepare an FPP. It's not like there are a limited number of FPPs, and this one robs the world of a "real" one. I don't care, but it amuses me more to see people tell us JUST HOW STRENUOUSLY THEY DO NOT CARE, because we should care how much they don't care, because it means a lot. About them. Yes. Very important.
  • What are you saying, Wurwilf? That you don't care that they don't care? Well, I don't care that you don't care that they don't care! Sure, you may say that you don't care that I don't care that you don't care that they don't care, but I'd just reply that I don't care that you don't care that I don't care that you don't care that they don't care. So there.
  • *turns on the hose*
  • Space Kitty wrote: 1) Whew. Well, it's not for lack of trying. They say practice makes perfect...
  • what the quidnunc kid said. I'm going home to eat worms.
  • I STRENUOUSLY DON'T CARE THAT MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS ONtw
  • Name the kid "Apple IIe" and then she and Gwyneth can be best friends.
  • Fucking genius f8xy. I knew I liked you for some reason. =)
  • I meant Madonna is conservative in the "I'm going to write children's books about morals now and pretend I don't have a past" kind of way. Socially conservative. Not politically conservative.
  • I care about the quidnunc kid. Wait, I don't. Wait. I don't care that I care. Hold on: the quidnunc kid doesn't care about something. Un momento. Nobody cares what the quidnunc kid cares about, except that s/he cares en toto and maybe in abstentia and possibly ad nauseum. Also, there's a CARE package here.
  • Gee what's all this hostility towards Britney? I mean, sure, she's no Angelina Jolie with her gorgeous adopted Asian baby and righteous international causes and perfect skin, teeth, face, body and breasts and sexy come-hither stare and who you just know she's a demon in bed but dammit, she never returns your phone calls. Anyway, Britney is um..what? Pregnant? m'kay.
  • nyuck nyuck!
  • Famous trailer queen knocked up by sperm released prematurely by some dumbass. IFilm at eleven.
  • I'm betting her new TV reality show shows the birth, in a controversial episode.
  • Tonight, on a very special "Quidnunc Kid" . . . Britney and Angelina in HOT tramp-on-trash action!! Don't miss it!
  • Sadly, I'd watch....
  • Gleefully, I'd watch...
  • Can I say that this news comes out the day *after* I turned in my dissertation where I compare (briefly) Britney to Lolita? Sheesh.
  • So . . . YOU'RE the one who did this! No dessert for you!
  • Bald pussy; bald head.
  • *yawn*
  • "I don't want anyone touching me. I'm tired of everybody touching me." Me too! Just keep your meathooks off! . . . Or I'll kill ya. /Francis
  • Who loves ya, baby? *sucks dum-dum*
  • Is that a rootbeer dum-dum, nunia? I'm just sayin, if it is, I might have to wrassle 'ya for it. *eagerly awaits the next Britney cover of Feel So Different*
  • Lighten up, Francis. /Hulka
  • It's a cream soda dum dum, smt, but for purposes of wrasslin', you may assume it is root beer. *fills kiddie pool with mud* Yeah, Britney is having a mid-life crisis, methinks. She'll be dead in 20 years, ya betcha. But then, it's funny that she's lived as long as she has with that name. There are not many elderly women named Britney. Come to think of it, there are not a lot of elderly women named Tiffany either. CAN YOUR NAME KILL YOU? WATCH THE CHANNEL 17 NEWS AT 11.
  • Cream soda is rootbeer's cousin, so prepare yourself! *puts on wrasslin' suit and mud goggles* Wouldn't be surprised if the shaved head *gasp* puts her back on track. The horror of it all! MTV will air an in-depth and "heart felt" docu detailing Britney's downward spiral, leading to the shaved head episode. C'mon baby, hit me one more time! She'll put out a new album showcasing her darkside, that will knock Christina Aguilera out of the charts. Madonna will issue a statment of support. The world will heal, and we'll all be grateful for everything Britney's given us. Bow to Starbucks and say your prayers. Mickey Mouse 'aint seen anything yet!
  • The cheap weave wrecked her hair and she has to start over. That's my guess.
  • SinĂ©ad O'Connor she is not.
  • This friend of mine had hair extensions put in once, and an artist friend of hers thought it would be fun to tack locks of her hair to the wall and take pictures, so that's what they did. But they had been drinking a lot and smoking weed, and she passed out (you can see her falling in the pictures), but the hair extensions stayed on the wall. She had to shave her head after that. I'm guessing that's probably what happened to Britney.
  • It looks to me like she lost a bet. Scroll down for balding goodness. [icons NSFW]
  • Britney's hair DID NOT SUPPORT OUR TROOPS.
  • Everyone is talking about Anna Nichole, and noone is talking about Meeeeeeeeee!
  • Am I the only U.S. monkey tempted to rent a post office box in the name of John Frum?
  • The only one in this thread, I think.
  • well now I'm tempted 'cause it appears that everyone's into it these days (well, TUM at least) who's John Frum?
  • He's God.
  • Well, if all the cool kids are doing it, I'm on my way to the post office.
  • I'm guessing this is the start of 'Evil Britney'. Same thing as when Spider-Man took on the black costume, or Hulk Hoagn dropped his yellow underwear. Besides, Christina is wholesome and blonde now. Pop needs to gets its Chi back in alignment.
  • Ah, crap. I am threadliy challenged and caffeine-deprived. Where do I hand in my membership card and monkey suit?
  • Fall in for y'head shavin's! Tiffany! Heather! Cody! Dylan! Dermot! Jordan! Taylor! Britney! Wesley! Rumor! Scout! Cassidy! Zoe! Chloe! Max! Hunter! Rubella! Kendall! Caitlin! Noah! Sascha! Morgan! Kyra! Ian! Lauren! Q-bert! Phil!
  • Aah, yes. The simple answer. Lice.
  • Or crabs.
  • or in extreme cases, lobsters
  • *gets "Rock Lobster" stuck in head, pogos around, curses kamus*
  • now you, too, can be the proud owner of Britney's hair for only 1 MILLLLLION DOLLARS!!!!!
  • Yup. I loves me some good 'ol fashion' greed, heavy on the buttery side. *slaps down $6.94 for a single strand*
  • Maybe she could bring out her own brand of gourmet soy sauce.
  • I'm a firm believer that everyone should shave their head at least once in their life to get a good look -- but now that she has, Britney should get goin' on growin' again. Man, that's an ugly melon. Sinead O'Connor, she ain't. Natalie Portman, she ain't. What's up with that cottage-cheese on the side? Ungh!
  • Long way off from Lieutenant Ilia, too...
  • I'm thinking that, with all the recent shaving, she's trying out for the Olympic swim team.
  • Damn, she looks like Brian Molko in that photo.
  • Bald Brit spawns one of the better rants I've read recently. Warning: smacks of wacko liberal petebest-style pinko politics.
  • Nothing wacko about it. The question is: why isn't it on the 6-o'clock news and will congress pass it? Okay...that was two questions...
  • I have to agree with rocket88 on this one, rant it may be but it's certainly asking some good questions...
  • Excellent link there, RTD. I also found it, spot-on. And, she's out again. *blows a party horn*
  • I got mad all over again reading that (excellent) rant. You'd think that most people would hear just one of those comparisons (Walton family gets 34.7 billion in cuts while Medicare gets slashed by 28 billion) and the people would be down at the White House with pitchforks and torches. The apathy and lack of awareness of the US population is nothing short of astonishing. Don't get me started...
  • I'm with you, kamus. The one that really got to me was the program that buys one bag of groceries for the elderly and mothers & their newborn babies. Are we so low now that we refuse to do even that? I really would like to stop giving the IRS my tax money & start sending it to charities instead. The IRS is getting there, in a backward kind of way. They now have a section on the 1040 where a person can choose to send however much of their refund to charities (can't remember which ones at the moment). At any rate, it sounds to me like the informed people in the US are going to have to shoulder a bigger burden, personally, until we get someone in the White House with a bit of decency. Oh, and, write your senator!
  • Sorry for tangentally thrusting the thread from the trivial to the horrific, but there is a point to be made that some trailer trash chick getting a haircut gets 80 million eyeballs, but the fleecing of the middle and lower class gets almost none. Battle stations, people. (If you're not mad enough yet, read this. ((You may need a user account to read it. If so, these should work: User: [email protected] Password: bugmenot))) And let's all post cute puppy pictures during the first few days of the bombing of Iran, it'll make us feel better.
  • I really would like to stop giving the IRS my tax money & start sending it to charities instead. Hey, you can do that! All you need to do is become insanely rich firt.
  • Wow. He sucks at searching, too.
  • Zing! But when the "Search with Obama"/"Search with McCain" pages come out, you'll know who their inspiration was.
  • I enjoyed "Search with Lurch" from the Addams Family era.
  • Godgle: Search with church.