April 04, 2005

Objective: 4 Kidz. Cuddly, Zealous Religiosity 4 Kidz! How much can you eat?

If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood, TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY! You may be moved to try and witness to these poor lost souls yourself, however AVOID TALKING TO THEM! Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word. Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.

posted by petebest 19 years ago
  • This link does not work for me. When I am pope, I shall have petebest excommunicated for this outrage.
  • Everytime I see a link to some page on this site I need to spend about a half hour clicking links and reading, assuring myself yet ONE MORE TIME that it is a hoax...but then, in the end, I realize that it may be a hoax, but it is so close to the truth that it scares the bejeezus (pun intended) out of me.... and.. on preview... the link doesn't work for sinners.... I had no problem with it.... :)
  • I will be pope. And infallible. And this is the 8,000th thread.
  • Lessons learned: One cannot make it to church if they have money, ice cream, lips, or a bed. Hindus can't count, but have awesome hairstyles. Atheists drink coffee. Lambs wear sweaters. Hagar is a girl's name. Nails made from folded paper are still pointy and dangerous.
  • Well then, I'm a sinner. And yes, you will be pope, but you will hate it...
  • This link does not work for me. You must've traveled down the path of ice cream, rather than the path of salvation.
  • Well well, kitfisto! Or should I say "THE ANTICHRIST"?! I've seen The Omen three times buddy - I know all about your evil tricks!
  • Silly Hindus, can't count all their gods! Oh, their trouble with mathematics will land them in a pit of suffering for all eternity! [this is hilarious]
  • Everybody knows that halfway through the third viewing the hypno-message kicks in, leading to terrible delusions and a comedy twitch. That's why the wise only watch it twice. Dance for me, Manturio-Boy!
  • Space Monkey I have no idea if it's a hoax, but it looks pretty scary legit to me. Quidnunc's been wearing a funny hat for years.
  • Yes, it's a hoax. Every few weeks, something new from this website pops up, and everybody freaks out, wondering if it's a hoax or not. Check out their "Zounds Youth Ministry" if you need further proof. Here are the lyrics to "Wacky Wacky Wicca Chick" Convinced yet?
  • Well, not by the lyrics but by the picture of the "Pastor and lead singer" heh. That's a Whole Lotta Parody! errrrroowwwrr
  • I havent clicked on it, but I can tell it's a hoax by reading the very first quote. Apparently not as subtle as some of the other beatings of this particular decomposing horse.
  • Landover Baptist is parody. This seems sincere to me. If it's parody, I find it to be very subtle. (I'm not intending to mock anyone when I say this, either.) My grandparents gave this same treatment, including revelations comic books and crucifixion cartoons. They gave me a more severe treatment than this site does, actually, and they were (and are) definitely sincere (and well intentioned) about their efforts.
  • Very subtle? Go to the Pastor's corner.
  • Oh shit, there's link to Landover Baptist right next the Pastor's Corner. I feel like such a heel and a rube right now. I guess this is what I get for laughing at people questioning the whether Google Gulp is real.
  • Well technically its a link to "help shutdown Landover Baptist", but the site is linked. Just sayin'. It's an enigma inside a conundrum!
  • Besides, you were right about the Google Gulp thing.
  • What makes me think this is parody is the reference to Waldensianism (as a form of proto-anabaptism) in the Pastor's Corner. How many actual fundamentalist evangelical sects study medieval history that closely?
  • you misspelled "sex".