January 31, 2004

• Thank you for the reminder that I need to keep a baseball bat within reach at all times.
• And tinfoil; don't forget the tinfoil...
• Wear the helmut as much as you can, especially during times that you feel you are usually abducted. Definitely, banana time again!
• Is my doctor an alien? Yes. Yes he is.
• From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: you are so abducted We are takin' you. Get ready! Love, The Grays If that doesn't work, call them on the Ouija.
• Candidate Kucinich, if elected, will protect America from orbital mind control lasers, thus rendering such anti-psychotronic wards unnecessary.