January 31, 2004

Timeless Skool Stories: Calling all 'swots, wets, weeds, tuoughs, ect ect': chiz chiz even if you have 'a face like a squished tomato' you may enjoy discovering life at a British boys skool, as recorded in the deathless prose of Nigel Molesworth (aka Molesworth One,or, the terror of St Custard's).

The site's based on the 1950s series of books by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle.

  • Masters are all shapes and sizes. Some are thin, some hav got an enormous pot on them some smoke cigs some smoke pipes poo gosh which ponk like anything and nearly ALL hav a face like a squashed tomato.
  • Migod Wolof you are uterly wet and a swot to boot.
  • PROPOSITION: All Masters are Weeds and Love the Kane. PROOF: The job of masters is suposed to be to teach boys lessons e.g. geog lat fr. div hist bot. arith algy and geom. Actually most of them prefer BEER and PUBS. They are always late for breakfast not like keen alert boys who goble force poridge cereal with grate gusto and look scorn on masters pale yellow faces when they see a skool sossage. Then is the time to ask Would you like some cream sir? or Gosh look at my egg sir its all runny.
  • The crested grebes are mating! I had a teacher like that. Bless him.
  • I LOVE THESE BOOKS, and was about to write a FPP about them, but luckily searched first. The London Review of Books published a quite serious review of them when the books were gathered into one volume. A few years ago, the BBC made a radio series out of the books, which I recall had molesworth's voice all wrong - they made him lisping and enthusiastic, rather than sardionic and knowing. However, here's a terrifying (albeit excellently written) new development: Hogwarts/St. Custards slash fanfic.
  • /faints