March 28, 2005

• Ok, as a former competitive swimmer/diver and lifeguard, I can say...you don't need the speedos unless you're really gonna start competing. The only time I actually wore them was during meets, the rest of the time I wore a "drag suit". You can get some of the in-between semi briefs (like these)if you really feel you need to get a lower drag suit to improve your performance, but honestly? You don't need to go all the way down to the banana hammock.
• In Oz, Speedos are called "budgie smugglers". I wear boardies, although I am neither fat nor especially hairy.
• Skinny dipping down at the mill pond! However, failing that I usually wear a very cheap pair of what we call trunks in Brit-land, slightly less drastic than Speedos but not baggy. I can see why the Speedos would make you self conscious but I'd say it doesn't really matter so long as you're not breaking any local bye-laws.
• Hairy, overweight men in speedos do, indeed give me nightmares. Like Wolof, I wear shorts depsite my non-fat, non-hiruite frame. That said, speedo-type wear are for people who are reasonably serious about their swimming. If you're getting that way, choose the right tool for the job, and if others dislike the aesthetics of the presentation, the hell with them.
• Hirsute.
• Wolof, I've never heard the 'budgie smugglers' name until just recently. They've always been meat-hangers or DTs (dick togs) where I grew up (Qld). Maybe it's a southern states thing?
• Shoot, choose the right type of swimwear for your sport and focus on what you're doing. A person focussed on what s/he's doing is a big draw. Something who concentrates is fetching beyond belief.
• I swim either naked or with swimming trunks. And I don't care a bit how I look like with or without them. I had not wore any swimming trunks for years before I emigrated to prudish Canada and had to buy a pair. I bought the cheapest, of course. I really hate the feeling of wet textiles. That's why I prefer to go nude.
• I haven't swum naked in years, but I remember the feeling. It's wonderful! Well, we were all fish, once.
• Finally, back on track with a really meaningful post.
• Dear lamearse, Please wear ankle-length trunks if you come to prudish Canada. And a shirt while you're at it. And we would prefer it if you'd change your name to lameass, please. That is all.
• Real men don't discuss swimwear. They just wear whatever they damn well feel like and if it scares your kids and the dog, then whatever ... Look out, CANNONBALL!
• I'd say wear whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. You don't go to the gym to look cute, you go to exercise (so you can feel good!). So wear whatever makes you feel like you're working your best. If you *do* go to the gym hoping to look cute (which some people do, and there's nothing wrong with that), speedos may not be the best way to impress someone until you do attain more of a typical swimmer's body. My neighbor used to mow his lawn in a speedo. While he was in pretty good shape, it was still alarming to see a (very) sunburned, grass covered, sweaty man outside in a wee little speedo.
• I do NOT want to be exposed to budgie.
• fish tick - HA! In high school I was on a swim team. I wore the speedo, just like everyone else. It was not flattering. However, I tend to see it as akin to bicycling shorts: Stuff like that does not really accentuate the body, but having the more professional gear seems to make the impression that you are doing the sport seriously, and not as a lark. I've seen some quite pudgy men riding with biking shorts and the skintight biking shirts, and rather than thinking "OMG Fatty" I was more "That guy must be pretty serious about being out here riding that bike." But wear whatever is comfortable. I currently have a pair of speedos - the long board-short variety, not the banana hammock.
• I would highly recommend a combination of a drag suit over top a normal speedo. Mesh drag suits last forever and look badass, but I always liked the support of a traditional speedo underneath. (ehm, drag suits are intended to be worn over top but you don't necessarily *need* both) Best of luck in the poo'. I gave up swimming for frisbee a few years ago, but it still holds a special place in my heart
• spit-take on the monitor! Lamearse: May I call you Arse? If you're out to impress the sexual persuasion of your choice, wear something different. If you're out to swim, wear what you damn well please. I like a man who's confident in what he does. *GramMa gives more good advice
• My younger brother swims competitivly, and a combination I often see on his teamates and opponents is one of the drag-suits that stripe featured over a pair of jammers(basically bike shorts, but without the crotch-padding). Or you could try one of those suits that looks like a womens bathing suit, but with legs.
• I don't like boxers or briefs. I can deal with boxer-briefs but I prefer square cut briefs (I've never seen them anywhere but at the gap) They look decent and yet suitably revealing (they *are* underwear). Anyway, my point is that the tighter shorts mentioned above are probably a good pick.
• Plus if you swim you will soon have nice legs, and I'm sure some woman or homosexual here will confirm that men's leg's in any state of workoutedness are extremely beautiful.
• You don't see Michelangelo drawing men in board shorts. If he saw those, he'd probably say "more like bored shorts!" and tip his head back (not out of amusement but to get back to working on his mural).
• Also, big props on choosing to swim. Swimming is not the most macho of exercise options but it provides wonderful results. I wish you the best of luck.
• I'll confirm that muscle-y man legs are good. I like the entirety of men's bodies, though.
• If you're swimming for exercise, a low-drag suit can help you understand your stroke better. Any of the newer style knee-length or ankle-length suits are better than you skin at cutting drag. Unless your goal is to pick up chicks at the pool you shouldn't worry about how you look in the suit, only how it affects your stroke. I really like my ankle-length speedos but most people where I swim seem to prefer the knee-length ones. Unlike surlyboi, I'm not a fan of drag suits.
• As a stocky, hairy man, I can confidently tell all those who'd complain about seeing me in a speedo (or any other bathing suit) to mind your own damn business if you happen to see me swimming somewhere. And, if you think you have any right to regulate how others groom and dress themselves, you have a sad, shallow little life. Humans have body hair and store fat for future fuel. Don't like it? Drop out of the race.
• If you don't want people to puke in your pool, you have to consider the general dresscode. If no one is wearing a g-string, maybe you shouldn't either. And remember, chlorine is a textile killer. Buy new trunks regularly, or people will see your shiny ass through the cloth, and no, not in a sexy way.
• coppermac said: "if you think you have any right to regulate how others groom and dress themselves, you have a sad, shallow little life". Um. I wasn't trying to regulate anyone. I was stating my preferences (severe dislike, in this case), and asking for others' preferences in what they like seeing in swimwear. I don't like what you're wearing, but I'll defend to the other end of the pool your right to wear it.
• I think you should catch a dolphin and cut out the innards and then climb inside the skin-suit (you can use the guts to make stock too). But then all them hippies and stuff would be all like "woah heavy man" YEAH SURE LIKE YOU WISH YOU'D THOUGHTA IT FIRST goddamit pass the bong anyway man.
• Yay, coppermac!
• MonkeyFilter: If no one is wearing a g-string, maybe you shouldn't either. MonkeyFilter: I don't like what you're wearing, but I'll defend to the other end of the pool your right to wear it. MonkeyFilter: goddamit pass the bong
• Often, when at the pool, I will loosen my tie.
• But Fes, when you loosen the tie, don't your trunks fall down? sans elastic
• That said, speedo-type wear are for people who are reasonably serious about their swimming. If you're getting that way, choose the right tool for the job, and if others dislike the aesthetics of the presentation, the hell with them. The flip side of this is of course, the old saw that often comes up in the rinks, courts, slopes, beaches and other places pickup sports occur... The guy with the nicest gear almost invariably has the weakest game. That said, in the words of Digital Underground, "Dowatchyalike" It's your workout, your own head you need to get into. Do what you need to do to get the most out of it.
• Much depends on what he's got, BlueHorse- that is, Windsor or *ahem* four-in-hand. and perhaps one-on-arm