March 14, 2005

• That line might work on a Human-Computer Interaction major.
• Goodly christ. Do men actually *say* these things? No wonder women think we're all puerile adolescent muttonheads. I mean, we ARE, of course, but do we really need to advertise? Let's keep this a secret in furtherance of all of us getting a little action, eh gents?
• Sidey, you must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room, erm, interweb... [blushes]
• SideDish! You agreed to keep my secret!
• May I flirt with you? And this one works fairly often, too.
• "Show us yer monkey" (no, really) was one I once heard. I don't think it was successful.
• some of these are hilarious If you talk to me, I'll fuck you. oh now THERE'S a true romantic.
• I think only about ten percent of them would ever be used by anyone. The other ninety may be used on women that the man already knows.
• "If I purchase alcoholic beverages for you, will you - after a reasonable period of social interaction - allow me to ejaculate my semen into your vagina?"
• My all time fave, occasionally used by a college roommate after insane quantities of alcohol had been consumed: "Do you like apples?" After the girl responds in the affirmative: "Let's go back to my place and fuck. How do you like them apples?"
• The_bone: I went to high school with a kid named Jeremy who that worked for more than once... If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U next to my balls.
• "Suck my ow! what was that for?"
• Why is it assumed that the man must do the picking up? Women should take responsibility too. /she says, from the safety of engagement
• It's all in the delivery. If she's interested, it really doesn't matter what you say. Along the lines of the Apples line, among my buds there was what was known as the Chico method - About half an hour before closing time, Chico would just start walking up to women and blatently ask them to come back to his place on the notion that if you ask enough of them, eventually one will say "ok, let's go." He'd have to power through a couple dozen before he'd qualify a prospect, but he almost always found someone willing to hook up up for a little adventure. They weren't all scary looking or desperate either.
• I'd agree with mmmuttly -- it's mostly in the delivery. In my limited trials, pickup lines work best not for sdeduction, but as an acceptible way to tell a quick joke to a stranger. And to let them know you're smart, kind, and interested (or one out of three as the case may be). One that worked (surprisingly enough) for me: walked up to a beautiful earth-mama with concern in my eyes. "Are you ok?" her: "Umm... yeah?" me: "cause that fall from heaven must've really hurt!" So cheesey it couldn't be sleazy. Just don't take yourself too seriously.
• "Hello, I am a multi billionaire. Would you like to fly in my private jet to my private yacht and sail with me to my private tropical island?" I find that works every time. Being a multi billionaire is excellent.
• I've found that a simple "Hey babeh" works well, but we're married so he's under contractual obligation.
• "You know what has two thumbs and loves oral?" *points both thumbs to his chest* "ME, baby! Hehe."
• How you doin'?
• AAAayyyyyyyy!
• *swoons*
• "What speaks French and loves blowjobs?" *points boththumbs at his chest" "Moi!"
• The "apples" line occasionally worked for my roommate, but he just happened to have that certain je ne sais quoi (again with the French!) which allowed him to hook up pretty much at will.
• I've had a lot of luck with this one: "if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put B, U, S, and H together because George W. Bush is really really stupid and not a good president and sometimes he says words wrong."
• Two of my personal favourites, *Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight. *Is that a mirror in your pocket, cos i can see myself in your pants.
• I agree that most of them work as quick jokes. Starting off with some humor is a good idea. It's just hard to know what someone else will find funny, if all you have to go on is how s/he looks.
• I agree that most of them work as quick jokes. Starting off with some humor is a good idea. It's just hard to know what someone else will find funny, if all you have to go on is how s/he looks.
• oops. that wasn't funny.
• Blah. Not in the lines. In the bloke that uses them.
• A friend of mine claims to have had luck with "That's a nice shirt." I hear that "Do you speak English?" works pretty well, but I've never tried it myself. The only line I've had any luck with was "Are those both your dogs?"
• "Excuse me, but does this look infected?" does not work. I repeat: it does NOT work.
• Girl to me: "What fucks like a tiger and winks?" Me: Ah, er ... Girl: *winks*
• ok. maybe i'm revealing too much of the sad lonely p7'ly life here, but pickup lines of any stripe only (possibly) work when you actually have the bollocks to go and talk to a girl in the first place! however, where is it that it is that a charming, sensitive and intelligent (possibly handsome, i don't know, are you?) geeky lad can go to meet women with whom it is possible to talk? Because it seems to me that in general women get pretty sick of being talked to buy random strangers in bars/pubs/clubs, unless they are in the kind of meatmarket venue where they expect it. i mean, i can tell some pretty sorrowful stories - not even attempted pick-ups, just saying 'hi', and i'm told i'm not an unattractive prospect. gawd. this is going to be a whinge. forget it.
• Pris ... do more gigs?
• Baby c'mon now, I'm ugly, you're ugly, it's perfect. works best if he/she isn't really ugly.
• Wolof: coz those geeky boys doing introspective laptop techno get all the hotties...
• A gig got me laid exactly once, when I was 18. And I've been a working musician for a long time.
• P7, The art gallery is a good place to pick up. In Sydney they have "Art after hours" on Wednesday nights. The gallery is open till 9pm and they have talks, jazz and drinks. Another mate has had good sucess at the local community college. He has attended drama workshops, dance classes and art classes with the main intention of meeting women. Because you're showing an artistic/sensitive side you're already at an advantage and because the girls aren't expecting to get hit on they've usually let their guard down a bit. And the added benefit of a class is that you can work your way up to it over a few weeks if you're the shy type. Oh and i guess you might learn something along the way too.
• i seem to have turned this silly thread into a dating advice column... oh dear...
• I've always liked: "Did you just fart? Because you really blew me away!"
• A gig got me laid exactly once My most sincere sympathies, bonio. Worked for me.
• I'm glad it worked for someone*! Actually, it seems to work for just about everyone but me. This is not to say that people haven't been attracted to me because of my musicianship, but post-gig hooking up never worked for me, try as I might. *Before going the vocal/choral/teaching route, I played bass (we're talking high school and early college here). I used to attribute my non-success to the fact that I was "just the bassist..." but if memory serves, you're a bassist as well and you seemed to do OK with it. Another illusion shattered. Thanks. You bastard.
• Bass players do it with rhythm
• OK< if we are doing advice, I have puzzled over this since puberty and concluded thusly: there is no such as a guy who is "good at picking up women." If you are rich and/or very good looking and/or a movie star your odds go up, but still, a ton of women have told me they dont find Brad Pitt the slightest bit attractive. The only guys who pick up a lot of women are the ones who try a lot and dont mind failing a lot. Simple as that. You have to be willing to try and willing to get embarassed when you fail. As for lines, if a girl is interested, "hi" is as good as anything else. If she isnt, the most clever line in the world wont help. My only tiny bit of advice, wear something interesting they could comment on. I have a t-shirt with a picture of unicorns having sex on it, and it gets a lot of "nice shirt"'s that start conversations...
• I hate to do this, drjimmy, but I have met a guy who was good at picking up women. Or at least good at making many women crush on him. Finally, another friend diagnosed what was happening. He listened to everyone like what they were saying was really, really important. I don't think it was concious, just who he was. Imagine how insanely attractive someone who listens to you is. Not that I've ever been able to replicate this or anything.
• "Can I flirt with you" is the only one would have found enticing. Guess it's a generation gap thing.
• I agree with JB. It's all about acting interested and letting them do the talking rather than hogging the conversation with stories about me me me. Rent a copy of Swingers. Trent is the man to be.
• jb is right on the money. There's nothing more fascinating than a man who shows a real interest in what is being said, and vice-versa. A bad line..."I'm free on Tuesday's and Thursday's." I walked away very fast.