March 12, 2005

• Uhh...NSFW background image on that link kthxbi.
• Uhh.. how is a sighing woman NSFW?
• Hey beep the links down! Better get it some viagra.
• There was this time I thought I was going to save a life by masturbating but I couldn't pull it off.
• Uh...K? The website background changes. The other one is very NSFW.
• *throws drink in A_C's face for that horrid violation* Hah! Looks like we MonkeyFiltered the site.
• Sensible Erection also had the link so maybe those bunch of wankers did it.
• Don't forget to read the important safety tips from the Scrotal Safety Commission (NSFW in a jr-high science project way) before you beat the meat, gentlemen.
• Unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnh!
• no...time...to commment oohhohoh!! busy saving....LIFE!
• I don't have a prostate. Is masturbation going to save my life? guess it's worth a try
• Just be sure you mop up the "life" when you're done. ewwww...
• That reminds me of a question that I've considered asking in a FPP. Is ejaculation, a/k/a getting those rocks off, really as essential as the man in your bed would like to have you believe? Frankly I've never really bought that line, but it doesn't seem to reduce the urgency and frequency that it may, *clears throat*, come up.
• If the BBC thinks masturbation is so great, why don't they adjust their program content to be more accomodating.
• Probably because UK papers have "Page Three Girls", Lucifurby.
• Ahh that's an affirmative dx. Over.
• dxlifer - I think it is that men keep producing semen, and need to release it or otherwise become very uncomfortable. That said, it doesn't matter how they release it - if needed, they can take care of things themselves, and should be perfectly willing to.
• Men keep producing spunk but the idea they 'have to release it' is an excuse for a shag. If it's not used it is reabsorbed by the body or expelled variously. The concept of blue balls is psychological only. There's no physical discomfort. Otherwise rape case prosecution would be a lot more difficult. "She was asking for it, your honour, anyway, he had blue balls."
• Well, I have been told by someone I trust that it is uncomfortable - not painful, just very annoying. And it would never be used that way - not when hands are more reliable.
• Well, I have been told by someone I trust that it is uncomfortable - not painful, just very annoying. And it would never be used that way - not when hands are more reliable.
• *grin* /copies, pastes and prints comments. except petebest's.
• I can tell you from personal experience that it can be quite painful. Not doubled-over-in-agony painful, but holy-fuck-my-balls-sure-hurt-I-need-release-or-whiskey-now-dammit painful.
• However, I should qualify that simply not having sex or not masturbating is not enough to really bring it on. What you need is to get all good and worked up like you're going to have sex, really get a good makeout/foreplay head of steam going, and then be denied access to the happy place. It's like locking up your brakes at 60 mph. Not good.
• Apparently a lot of Daoist sex techniques advise eschewing ejaculation (that's ESchewing dear reader) as an effective method that is a no malarkey route to longevity. I believe the traditonal joke here is that it just feels like you're living longer.
• I recall that a certain Native America tribe trained their muscles to force semen back up into their bladders during ejaculation, with the same motivation as the Daoists. It's believed that semen is male "energy", and retaining it allows the body to conserve this "energy".
• *sees MCT in a whole new way* *gouges eyes out in terror*
• I recall that men in a certain Native American tribe, etc.... Sorry.
• It's believed that semen is male "energy", and retaining it allows the body to conserve this "energy" That's why I find that there's no better "pick me up" after a hard day at work than suckin' down some salty cock juice.
• Turns out I was wrongly-informed on what it's like to date a preacher's daughter. ;)
• less talk. more nookie.
• Is Nookie™ the new cookie offering from Nabisco™?
• mct, I dated a pastor's son, and he certainly lived up to the hype. ;)
• Dammit, I want my money back.
• Well a persistant state of readiness can keep one awake dxlifer no doubt about that.
• gee, Mitheral, we're in our fifties. We isn't he either out chasing young women or just falling asleep? I am even more perplexed now, than ever, though. I told the lifer about this commentary earlier and he grumbled "bunch of traitors". *snickers* Then at supper we were discussing our parrot, who is entering both his sexual maturity and the 'homing season'. i.e. he wants to get to the roosting grounds and get fucked. He's been squarking, full throttle from sun-up to sun-down some days. He's obnoxious, sometimes absolutely mean and nasty. Always loud. Never happy. I'd really enjoy wanking him some mornings. The lifer says to tell everyone that Birdo has blue balls. I just don't know anymore. I thought this nonsense was just so far away in my past. *dreary sigh*
• *hands dxlifer a beer* Could have been worse. Could have been a cockatoo. Yes. Yes, I know.
• "..trained their muscles to force semen back up into their bladders.." ROTFLMFAO Alnedra.. semen doesn't come out of the bladder.. please consult a biology textbook, stat!
• where's gran'ma? Don't be bogarting that joint, my friend. It's the only way I can drink beer and I need both after that one, or two, mct. /goes to console Birdo. Hopes he has only one.
• Doris, I know semen doesn't come out of the bladder. I scored first in my class in biology when I was sixteen. But do note that both semen and urine have to come out of the urethra, i.e. the two passages (one from the testes and one from the bladder) have to meet at the urethra. So what happened was at the point of ejaculation, as the semen hits that juncture, the man was able to force it to travel upwards towards the bladder, rather than outwards through the penis. I apologise for not making myself clear in the "back up" bit, but it never ocurred to me that someone would think I was ignorant about the workings of the human body, especially the genitals, after the very helpful sites just posted these last two days.
• *grin* /copies, pastes and prints comments. Ewwwwwwuu! Just what did you use to paste that, Dx? *shifts eyes right, left Pulls small baggie out of hip pocket. "Hey, Dx, it's righteous." Will someone tell me why it is that older men who are still ..."interested" are married to women who are not? GramMa may not be "interesting" but she's still "interested"--trouble is, GramPa's always nappin'. I'm old, but not dead yet! *blushes
• Allright! Clothes on the floor, ass in the air - let's go! *clap!* yeah, but when it works - oooo baby
• So what happened was at the point of ejaculation, as the semen hits that juncture, the man was able to force it to travel upwards towards the bladder, rather than outwards through the penis. Well, I'll be peeing sitting down for a couple days. *winces*
• Monkeyfilter: Doris, I know semen doesn't come out of the bladder. i NEVER do taglines, but that one's incredible.
• Gran'ma, I'd love to visit the old farm. Are you interested in visiting Canada? It's actually quite nice here in the summer. Lots of American tourists. Think of it as house-swapping.
• Oh, Pete, you have such class. *winces Dx, I'd love to visit Canada. I'm a bit worried, is this house swapping with or without husbands?* *reference 5 posts up