March 10, 2005

• Guns don't kill people. Cats do. (Well, at least they try to.)
• You know, "Handgun + Cooking + One hungry cat = trouble" really made me think someone had shot and cooked a cat. Ew. But HAHA, such is not the case. I'm thinking this dude will not leave loaded handguns lying around anymore. Although knowing humanity's penchant for rank idiocy, I'm not going to hold my breath. ;)
• Cats already rule the world. It seems they are at last preparing to make it painfully obvious. I for one etc...
• The cat did it. Sure pal, gotcha. If you wouldn't mind breathing into this small tube, sir..?
• Joseph Stanton, 29, of Bates Township in Iron County, was shot in his lower torso Nutshot!
• "But Marcie Miller, a representative of the Marquette facility, said there was no record of the hospital receiving a patient by that name." I smell a cover-up. Our cat masters are already trying to bury this story.
• When we start hunting cats, cats will start hunting US!
• I've always had a theory that cats are merely a larval form of demon. Some of them mature, and are never seen again. The owners just think there's some logical reason for their disappearance. Some cats never mature, and don't care. Others don't mature, and are forever embittered, and try to demonstrate their worthiness of demonhood. We think this shooting was an accident, but cats know better.
• *vomits into mouth, goes back to studying for exam*
• *previews comment*
• Northern, have you been reading this post?
• Maryh, I did see that post long ago, but I can assure you that I developed my theory well before that. It came to me during some episode of BtVS several years ago, and was inspired by one of my wife's cats who has always been one of those frustrated kitties.
• I was heating up some Irish stew when my tomcat said, "Fix me some, too." But since I didn't have enough for two, I pretended not to hear what he'd just said. Then there I lay upon the kitchen floor writhing and wishing I were dead while Tom strolled past me out the door and I knew by the smirk on his whiskery face as every fact fell into place 'twas he who'd filled me full of lead, taking revenge for not being fed.
• He had a loaded gun just sitting on his counter. WHY?! Was he afraid of a dangerous burglar breaking in to steal his .... half cooked dinner? My sympathy shrivels for people who not only insist on owning a gun, but then can't even be bothered storing it properly.
• Ha, bees - great one.
• I thought it was pretty hard to make a gun fire by dropping it. I heard that was a movie myth.
• Well, Kmellis, apparently in this case it was a movie HIT!
• ... a loaded gun just sitting on his counter. WHY?!... Pistol-whipped cream?
• I thought it was pretty hard to make a gun fire by dropping it. I heard that was a movie myth. It is usually pretty hard, but it depends on how well the gun is constructed and maintained. If the parts aren't well-machined or if the design isn't up to par, then it can go off if dropped. Of course, even with a top of the line weapon, the first rule of gun safety is that there is no such thing as a safety. At all.
• Oh Bees, once again, I've been out-gpunned.
• *ack*! teh punny! teh punny! *falls to floor*
• Holy beep! I always liked cats. Can't teach them nothing.