March 10, 2005

Spit, urine, breast milk, feces... these are the weapons of your enemies. Needless to say, they fight dirty. Sometimes they attack without you knowing it, and only tell you the details afterward. What you see as threatening or repulsive, though, others may find appetizing. It's enough to make me want to cry, but I'm concerned I might accidentally shake some on to an innocent bystander (and risk being charged with a crime) or have some football coach lapping at my face like a thirsty dog at the toilet bowl of his dreams.
posted by coppermac 19 years ago
  • My grandfather taught me when I was little that spit works well to stop a graze from bleeding. That would not be enough incentive for me to lick some random kid's bleeding knee, though. Ugh.
  • I'm with General Jack D. Ripper: We must protect all our precious bodily fluids.
  • As repulsed as I am... this is an excellently-constructed post! )))
  • This has to be the best-named post ever.
  • The second article needs a spoiler disclaimer up front. Some of us have never seen Van Wilder. I kid. kinda
  • Van Wilder? That's not the Van you need. The principle/coach sounds suspiciously like a vampire. Better call Van Helsing.
  • Let your dear dog lick your wounds, for at least doggy saliva is slightly antibiotic. Whereas the human mouth is a Putrid Pit of Bacteria!
  • Ugh - principal, princiPAL. Now it doesn't even look like a valid word.
  • Oh great, now I know Van Helsing is a vampire hunter. You spoiled that one for me, MsVader, but two can play this game. LUKE SKYWALKER IS YOUR SON!!! Take that!
  • Technically, that is incorrect. Note I am not Mrs. Vader. I am not now, nor have I ever been, married to, or involved in any way with Darth. Ms. implies that I'm just a female member of the family. So, take THAT!
  • Seriously though, is no one else as freaked out by this licking-other-people's-wounds business as I am? I mean, ew.
  • I second your ew, MsVader. I keep rereading that story (he's still dean of students?!), hoping I'll be able to form a coherent response to it, but I just can't. It's just too... eeew.
  • mmmm...half-coagulated blood. /Homer I don't mind licking my own wounds. But somebody elses'? *shudder*
  • Here in North Carolina (I am starting to annoy myself by how often I begin a sentence like that) spitting on a law enforcement official while in custody is a Class F Felony, which is pretty damn serious. You can get anywhere from 1 to 5 years for it. The first time that I represented someone charged with it I asked an officer why it was if I punched him in the mouth that I was only committing a misdemeanor, but if after he arrested me for that I spit on him while cuffed behind bars it was a Class F Felony. He told me, "You obviously have never been spit on. You can get the AIDS from that. I think it should be more than a Class F Felony! They could kill someone." Okay, he didn't say "the" AIDS. But he sure as heck said the rest.
  • "Semen-frosted Brownies" is my new band name.
  • Wow the first time I've seen an artical about my state (Idaho) and it has to be this.