February 28, 2005

• It's sounds to me like your local station mistimed a promo.
• general Oscar comment: Can Billy Crystal be put sleep once and for all?
• "put to sleep" that is
• So, who won?
• It sounds to me like A NON-PROFIT BROKE LIQUOR LAWS! Now, we have to wait for the subliminal messages that will be superimposed on the foreheads of Anette Bening, Jake Gyllenhaal and Some Sound Editing Guy before we find out which non-profit it was. Man, they're totally playing around with the format this year. Good innovation - that whole "broadcasting sinister messages to our unconscious minds" thing really keeps it fresh!
• I was wondering the same thing out here in Chaska. It's an ad for a story the local news is doing post-oscars.
• Yea, yea. If I had just waited 15 minutes, I would have found out that it was a local station thing - the news promo at the commercial break mentioned it again. I was just startled since it was in the middle of the broadcast, right in the middle of a transition between clips, as if it had been placed there on purpose.
• Hmmm. So the liquor-law-breaking non-profits have got to you already, cabingirl? You're helping to spread their "just a local news story" black propaganda? Joining in the "no subliminal messages" cover-up? Then how do you explain the fact that Scarlett Johansson just looked me in the eye, addressed me by name, and gave me instructions about which bad people needed to be "purified"? Huh? Now Tim Robbins is educating me in how I must slice them.
• Counting Crows: least cool band in the world?
• Yeah, but at least they obey liquor laws.
• Write your own Oscar acceptance speech - not funny enough to post, but remotely funny enough to comment.
• AUGH! who shaved Jake Gyllenhaal's head?!
• Looks like Scorese is winning the big ones- they are telegraphing it pretty obviously with all the cuts to him. They should just say "Martin Scorese wins for Raging Bull and Goodfellas" and be honest about it...
• So I guess "I support the troops" is the "I am not now, nor I have ever been a member of the Communist party" of our era...
• yeah, that really bothers me too.
• I have never understood the fascination with Counting Crows. I once dated a girl who loved them. When I discovered this, I knew we were doomed. The fact that our relationship went as long as it did probably had something to do with all the sex we had.
• even Annette Bening couldnt keep a straight face saying the sentence "Music is film's handmaiden."
• I have to take a shot every time they show Dustin Hoffman and it's getting really hard to stay awake.
• Please explain to me the fascination with the Oscars. Today, people were running around mad buying food and drinks for their Oscar Parties and getting all dressed up. What is it about? Is this just a classic example of people celebrating because they are told to? I always thought of the Oscars as this annoying interruption of what I normally watch, chock full of boring speeches and washed-up "personalities". Am I wrong?
• There were these French guys called the Lumiere brothers. Rather than still photographs, they invented something called the "motion picture." Since then, many people enjoy watching these "motion pictures." The "Oscars" are an awards ceremony to honor the best "motion pictures." Since many people enjoy watching "motion pictures," they also enjoy finding out which will win these awards. Does that clear it up?
• Oh, I see. People like to be told what they enjoy.
• It's a spectacle, Zanshin, that's all. It fascinates some people and bores others to tears. Like the Super Bowl. Oh, and I've never been to an Oscar Party, but I do watch every year. I don't like the on-stage presentations and the in-aisle presentations. It makes it so obvious that some awards are important and others apparently aren't.
• Well, it's more fun than being told what they're not allowed to enjoy.
• LIKE THE LIQUOR LAWS, FOR EXAMPLE!!!
• Nice to see Charlie Kaufman get the award he deserved. Nice to see Charlie Kaufman, period.
• Lowdown on that liquor law thing that flashboy seems very excited about...a local chapter of the Shriners was apparently caught selling liquor without a license at a local event.
• Speaking of liquor and Dustin Hoffman: was he drunk?? I don't like the on-stage presentations and the in-aisle presentations. It makes it so obvious that some awards are important and others apparently aren't. Agreed. That looked really awkward.
• Speaking of liquor and Dustin Hoffman: was he drunk?? Don't know, but Al Pacino certainly seemed drunk or something.
• Speaking of liquor and Dustin Hoffman: was he drunk?? No, he played the character from Meet the Fockers. I hate it that they didn't show clips of the Short Animation category. Those guys really make beuatiful images and then you only see them sitting in the back rows... Anyway, the winning film, Ryan, is available for viewing online.
• The Oscars are fun if you bet on who will win, especially with handfuls of candy. I felt weird that not only had I not seen any of the nominated films (except 5 of the shorts - thanks Salon! And to the filmmakers who let them host, they were wonderful! Especially 7:35 and The Little Terrorist - Ryan was powerful and disturbing - I need to watch and rewatch to understand more) - I hadn't even HEARD of most. I know I live in a box, but surely these were very underadvertised films - the one I had seen most advertised was Vera Drake, of all things. But that said, I now have a list of films to go watch, somehow, starting with The Wasp (winning short live action), and Finding Neverland. I'm wavering on The Aviator - apparently it was very good, but I am split between really wanting to see how Cate Blanchett plays Katherine Hepburn, the true goddess of American movies, and thinking that no matter how good Blanchett is, she will always seem a strange almost but not really Hepburn, somewhat like a parody or falling in an uncanny valley. (This is no reflection on Blanchett - but I have seen a great many hours of Hepburn on film.)
• Watching the awards was a tradition in my family. Lately, as it became disbanded, end up watching with a couple friends, or partner, or any brother around. What can I say? Yes, we like to see what we like being honored. And guess it's not that different from rooting for a team in any sport. A fun time to be had, and the gaffes, saccharine moments, and occasionally the jokes make it all worth killing three hours. As much as I don't care much of him as an actor, Crystal's ceremonies were the best to me, joke-wise. And I'll always remember that one wth Letterman.
• And yes, an award for my favorite movie, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind! Wow!
• So did Chris Rock manage not to swear for the whole telecast? I'm sure he could afford the 500,000$ fine if he wanted to. He seemed so restrained. Also, why the hell did The Aviator win so many awards? Six outta seven, I believe? Ugh, it sounds like such a boring movie... the life and times of some rich dude who built a lot of planes and loved and lost just like everyone else. And starring Leonardo DiCraprio, no less! Did anyone actually go see this film? How was it?
• Scorsese is rocked again! That's too hilarious for words. I was hoping the Academy wouldn't bow to the "pity vote", and they didn't. My faith in the Hollywood self-congratulatory system is restored!
• is it just me or did million dollar baby come off as a million dollar load of crap? the boxing cousin of shawshank where we discover the severed voice of morgan freeman realizes he was the kind of guy that was known to locate things from time to time in the gym toilet? and so what she dies? and so what and her over-stereotyped family wants the money and her over-stereotyped trainer (the sympathetic screen persona clint eastwood writes for himself) disappears to sell good pies. ahh . . .fuck eastwood. if i have to hear swank or anybody else ramble on and on about his genius, i'm gonna swank my pants. hotel rwanda and eternal shunshine of the spotless mind and closer and kill bill 2 and the incredibles and kazaam and so many others put that shit to shame.
• oh, and finding neverland.
• It's just you.
• but mulder, the x-files was better too.
• I was just watching Eternal Sunshine for the first time. It's a good movie; I prefer it to Being John Malkovich.
• hey I'm just about to read this article about the story and... OH MY GOD THE SHRINERS WERE SELLING MARGARITAS AT PRIVATE SHRINER EVENTS. Is it just me, or does anyone else want to write letters to this news channel and explain just how big of douchebags they are? btw, someone please tell me Hotel Rwanda won
• Hotel Rwanda won. The non-profit was not breaking liquor laws. The bad people do not need to be purified. Relax.
• Oscar. Hot comedian. Jump the tank comedian.
• Ha ha. Instead of going to an Oscar Watching Party, my girlfriend and I had hot sex. Lemme tell you, we won for best pictures.
• Cool! Who did she fuck?
• Wait - I may have misunderstood.
• Is it just me, or did it seem to anyone else that the reason the songwriter who won the Oscar sang a couple of verses from his song for an acceptance speech was because he was horrified at how Santana and Antonio Banderas mangled it? They kept cutting to him during the "performance," and the dude did not look happy. I was so pleased the Ryan won best animated short. I actually was looking forward to that award presentation this year, since I got to see some of the shorts online and actually knew what was up. Thank you, Internets!
• OH MY GOD THE SHRINERS WERE SELLING MARGARITAS AT PRIVATE SHRINER EVENTS. What's even worse, afterwards they got in their tiny little cars and took off down I-40, leaving a trail of destruction, vomit, and cast-off liripoops in their wake.
• But Antonio Banderas was TOOOOOO SEXXXYYYY!!!!!
• Imagine the potential distruction of a mini-car pileup...oh the humanity!
• I thought all the songs sounded awful as performed. I would have much rather heard parts of the scores nominated. But if they are so time-pressed, why did they even bother?
• They should have given Banderas an $80 check and sent him home before singing. Oh, poor song...
• Sorry, in retrospect, that was actually Robin Williams who needs to be put to sleep. Apparently there is a big to-do because he got censored. Rather than sing a horribly unfunny song full of stale 20 year-old imitations that weren't funny back then either, he was forced to just tell some horribly unfunny jokes full of stale 20 year-old imitations that weren't funny back then either. Oh the controversy!