February 24, 2005

• At the meeting ask exactly why the higher beings were involved. If you show now that you are prepared to question the bosses behaviour, they may themselves question it and see the error of their ways. Find out if these people will also be informed when the problem is solved. If the boss won't, then maybe you should. This sounds like it is being handled all wrong, and you need to make it clear that you belive it could be sorted better. Good luck. Strength and Honour.
• It's never appropriate to send a "nasty" email to anyone in the office, regardless of what they've done. If the manager copied his bosses on the email, then either: a) they will realize this and it will reflect poorly on the manager; or b) this is acceptable behavior in this office and your friend should find a new job posthaste. In any case, she should let her manager know that she doesn't appreciate being raked over the coals in a semi-public fashion.
• The email from the boss should have been replied to (copying the higher-ups, as well) with an offer to meet and discuss the issue. Well-managed offices adopt the policy that "people don't fail...systems fail". The goal of the follow-up meeting should be to improve the system so that opportunities for similar mistakes are eliminated.
• Two options -- low key, or nuclear war. Low key would be what kitfisto said. Simply ask why the overlords were notified, if that's regular procedure, that sort of thing. Since she's a nOOb, that may be the best route. The other option is to blow this all up, ask the overlords directly why they were involved -- which runs the risk of insults and overstepping boundaries, particularly if this IS just regular procedore. Offhand, I'd be inclined to go for the former. This is likely just a case of the boss pissing around to mark his territory, and show how important he is.
• This is my personal preference, based on the decisions I have made about what jobs I will and won't take but: Find a new job. One that is in an office small enough not to have such politics. I suspect it will only get worse. The above advice all looks good, incidentally. How you approach it may depend somewhat on the nature of the advice. Were you assigned a task that you did wrong, or were you doing something proactively that was not appropriate, or something else? The answer to that will deal with the specifics of how you should handle the meeting. But, yes, the first question for the boss is, "Why was this handled like this?" Personally, I do everything I can to correct a problem before it reaches upper management. Otherwise, why should I be in the middle management position? I'm supposed to be the buffer between the workers and the people who have no time to deal with the workers.
• Hmm. Ok, first, she's new that makes it morpe difficult to handle AND the boss is apparently an a-hole. Were the two "higher-ups" HIS higher ups or HER higher-ups? If the former, he probably copied them so that they understood that whatever happened was not his fault and that he was handling it (hence the email, although "handling it" with a nastygram is sorta stupid). IF the problem has been subsequently solved, she should reply to the email (just to her boss, not reply-all) say it's been fixed, apologize and state it won't happen again. Then it's over. At this point in her tenure there, she's low person on the pole, so she'll get some blame. At this point, best not to fight too hard about the chastisement (that's not being a team player when you are new). Don't ask why the higher ups were notified (that's questioning the actions of her boss, and he strikes me as the pissy type), and she'll have plenty of time for reputation building later. Fixing it, apologizing and moving on is best course of action.
• $20 bucks says her boss is also a woman.... any takers?
• I'm not going there.
• But to clarify, that whole copying-the-higher-ups thing is a blame-avoidance technique - it's about your friend's boss, not about your friend. He's making sure his (or her) bosses know that he (or she) didn't do whatever was done. Which makes it no big whoop to her. She should act like she didn't even notice the other to names in the CC column.
• I have a similar thing with a supervisor -- she's incapable of e-mailing me to point out a mistake without copying a higher-up on the message, no matter how small or inconsequential the mistake is. At times I wonder what she's supervising.
• She's supervising her own ass, is what she's doing, to make sure your mistakes don't stick to her, which in my opinion is a prissy little thing for a boss to do (I am of the firm opinion that a lot of a managers job is to protect his people from the predations of senior management, not make sure to leave a paper trail so that I can more easily throw them to the wolves if anything bad happens) but the CYA gene is strong in inexperienced managers.
• Is it possible that your friend misinterpreted the tone of the email? Maybe her boss was just being very direct and trying to nip a potentially disasterous mistake in the bud, and copying his/her superiors was necessary. It would help to know what the mistake was. Maybe because your friend is new to the job, she's more likely to be overly-defensive?
• Koko... I've seen this before, I've been on the receiving end, as well as seen others go through this. When you CC bigger bosses, you're either going "Look at me!!!! I *TOTALLY* busted someone who screwed up!!!!" or you're insecure/passive aggressive. That is, unless it's something more serious like sexual harassment or racist/inapppropriate comments, which you should cc everyone on to cover your ass (which I don't think this is) As far as my woman comment, I only mean that bad women managers are more prone to this behavior, I've worked for many a fine woman manager in the past, and have been proud to do so. Bad men managers just tend to be dicks, but rarely telegraph it to superiors... (A female coworker of mine who thought it was a woman boss as well...)
• As someone else suggested, make sure that when the problem is resolved, the same people are notified. I had a horrible bully of a boss last summer who would send me nastygrams for things which weren't even my responsibility. Later, when we'd found the correct person to fix the problem, she'd semi-apologize, but only in person or on the phone. She would never follow-up in email. If I did, I was chastised. It turns out that she was simply a bully who was trying to get me to quit, and simultaneously building the dossier needed to fire me. By never documenting that all these complaints were misplaced or erroneous, she compiled a huge case against me in a few months. Lesson learned. If it seems that your boss hates you, she probably does. If it feels like she deliberately misinterprets things you say, she probably does. I'm much happier in my new job, with a boss who values and respects my work. Lastly, I recommend reading "Cubicle Warfare : Self-Defense Tactics for Today's Hypercompetitive Workplace". It is a bit over-the-top, but worth thinking about its tactics, depending on your office.
• Start looking for a new job NOW. When this shit starts happening right off the bat, it is a sign of many more shitstorms yet to come. Get out while the getting is good.
• More details: She's new in the department, but not new in the overall organization. She gets matrixed out to other groups. At least 1, and I think both of the people copied were higher-ups in the group in charge of her group- matrixing people out to other departments. Her boss(es), not his (sorry debaser, it's a he). And some details about the mistake: She had an idea, discussed it with him, he gave the thumbs up, and she emailed some other people involved because they have a meeting scheduled early next week and she wanted to discuss it in the meeting. My theory is that he gave it an informal thumbs up, but didn't expect her to start so soon- the programming won't start till next fall, and he may have expected her to flesh the idea out some more before running with it. For her part, my friend wanted to discuss it with the other people involved to get their input before fleshing the idea out. My opinions: It sounds to me that it was initially a simple misunderstanding, and I'm not sure why a nasty email was necessary at all. He may be trying to cover his ass, but the email was sent before any planning was done at all on the project- so if it was a mistake, it was caught about as early as possible, while it was still far within the bounds of his ability to handle it himself. And it wasn't sent to her boss, not his. He's showing them that he's displeased with the person they gave him, and he's not doing it in a very effective way- if he has concerns, he should express them to the necessary people directly, instead of copying them so they just look on while he beats his chest and flings shit.
• I had the same experience as invoke...a boss that would blame blame blame in writing, then admit the mistake in person. Make a copy of the e-mail, note how the problem was resolved, date it, keep it as evidence. And...look for another job. I'm a boss now and when I have a problem with a subordinate, I go to his/her office, close the door and talk. I also make it clear that this is how I expect to be treated--if a subordinate has a problem with me, I had better hear about it, in private and in person. I pass information about problems on to my boss only when I can't solve it with the subordinate or the subordinate just isn't paying attention--which happens sometimes. Everyone gets lots of chances before we go higher. I'm a woman, by the way. I treat people the way I wish I had been treated. I'd apologize for the mistake and move on.
• But there is never an excuse not to put a cover sheet on a TPS Report. [PDF]
• What Fes said. This is a bad boss, and he's being a dick. A good boss deflects crap that falls from above, before it lands on his people. He does not shake the crap-tree to cause more fallout. Plan an exit strategy, soonest. In the meantime, be the adult that your boss isn't. Maintain your dignity and professionalism. If the boss's superiors are even nominally competent, they'll see who's the problem. If not, you don't want to work there.
• I tend to agree with the "look for another job" contingent. The manager is taking looking out for number one, and no one needs that shit at work. But faced with the situation, I would confront the manager before the Big meeting, probably eating a bit of humble pie, claiming that I misunderstood his approval of the project. Since the manager is such an egotist, that kind of treatment might actually get him on to the co-worker's side for the future.
• This sounds eerily familiar. I was in a very similar situation myself, several years ago. It ended badly -- but that was at least partly my own fault. Your friend should NOT do anything that could be interpreted as 'going over her boss's head'. (That was exactly what I did, and it was disastrous. My boss felt that his authority was being challenged -- the higher-ups were annoyed at having to waste their time clearing the whole matter up -- and I got blamed.) She should resist the temptation to fire off self-justifying e-mails in all directions. She should stay calm, and wait for the meeting tomorrow to find out which way the wind is blowing. In the meantime, she should try not to lose any sleep over it. As the new person in the department, she can reasonably claim that any mistake she made was the result of inexperience. Fes's advice is exactly right -- fix it, apologise and move on. A week is a long time in (office) politics, and she may find that this crisis is resolved and forgotten surprisingly quickly. "Worse things happen at sea", as my granny used to say.
• As a sender and receiver of emails, I feel qualified to weigh in on this. How do we know the intent of it was a nasty email? If there's one thing I've learned after reading about 7 bajillion corporate emails, it's that most people can't express themselves in writing for shit. Many people are prone to use phrasings and structure that are open to interpretation a number of ways. I could go on, but I won't. The bottom line is that we have a very vague description and a little commentary from the poster. Ideally, the email would be reprinted with the names and company identity changed/removed/obfuscated. There's not enough detail to offer advice.
• Wot SlightlyFoxed and Fes said, particularly SF's comment about resisting the urge to send a self-justifying e-mail. I discovered this the hard way when the aforementioned supervisor made some unacceptable comments in one of her "corrective" e-mails. (Among other things, she felt it necessary to remind me that I am "a grown man," which comment damn near sent me over the edge.) I fired back a response in which I took an ill-advised stand, letting her know I thought her message was unprofessional and hateful. I had hoped that this would open a discussion between us, so we could resolve things. Her response? She quietly forwarded my message to said higher-up, didn't even acknowledge that she'd received my reply. Guess which one of us got a stern talking to the next day?
• Okay, based on the situation, here's my quick analysis. Naturally, those with more information should see if it might be correct based on limited information: Your friend started attempting to allocate resources for a project that was not officially started. This may even have been something that was a problem with this particular manager in the past, or it may be something that the workplace has had difficulty with recently. In any case, the boss is attempting to convey to upper management that he is not overstepping his bounds, and that it is taken care of, likely because of a complaint from someone who was requested to look at the idea. Hopefully, mistakes can be acknowledged, your friend can get a little backstory on what the problem is and can go on from there. Mind you, it's still a sucky way to do it. Your friend's boss should have talked with her, then talked with upper management separately, then everyone should have gotten on with their lives. But that's the most likely scenario of the ones that haven't been already discussed.
• When you're new on the job, you need to learn about the politics and personalities you're working with. If i was her i would add this little episode to the "Hmmm" file. E-mail as geekpdx pointed out is a weak communication medium to start with. In a "conflict" situation it is *horrible*. Sending off a counter-email to higher-ups that you don't know (as middleclasstool pointed out) isn't going to win any friends. It'll have the opposite effect, it immediately puts you into an adversarial position. It's hard to say absolutely because we don't have all the details but i would suggest some perspective. This is just one e-mail, one episode. Watch and learn, work hard.
• There's a difference between starting to allocate resources and talking to people to get some background on the project. It sounds like your friend was trying to do the latter. Maybe her boss misunderstood her intentions. Yes fix it, apologise and move on. But also keep the email, document any similar situations that may arise in the future and keep job options open. Good managers understand that new people won't have the experience within the company to do their jobs perfectly right away. If someone flies off the handle that easily, it's not a good sign.
• Here's how I would handle it: - Hit "reply all." (E-mail is a two-way street. You got a personal message and some folks were CC'ed. Don't be afraid to reply to that personal message.) - Type a gentle and diplomatic message to the effect of, "I regret that the results were less than ideal [effectively expressing remorse if indeed it was a foul-up] and I welcome the opportunity to discuss the situation with you or others in person. [making it known that you are mature enough to abandon e-mail in favor of a face-to-face]. Please do not hesitate to stop by at any time and offer guidance on how I can grow to become an indispensable asset to XYZ." Wise upper managers will read between the lines and see how unprofessional the orginal e-mail was. And even if they don't read between the lines, you still might come off sounding like a sage -- but without coming across as too snarky to your superviser.
• I agree with not reacting to the situation by sending heated emails. It always looks unprofessional and petulant, whether you're right or not. I used to get into heated email fights with my supervisor, but now whenever she sends a nasty email (thankfully not too frequently), I save it in a file and then go talk to her personally. As someone else said, be the grown-up that your boss isn't.
• I dunno Possum, writing that e-mail is likely to cause more harm than good. Seriously, a "higher-up" in the organization doesn't want to see even more noise on what sounds like a minor scrap. Wise higher-ups would already know that the original e-mailer was way out of line. Sending more e-mail puts you in the line of fire. Upper managers get too much e-mail as it is, especially if this is a matrix organization. You are more likely to be labelled a complainer than a saint. The organization is not about *you*. Learn, apologize, move on.
• Take a shit in the ficus tree.
• I learned my lesson about that just recently: when you get that new job, save, save, save until you get three months rent and living expenses saved up. Meanwhile, just keep your head down, keep your mouth shut and just eke it out. After that three months, then start looking around. Anything related to any incidents, document, document, document. It pays off. It did for me.