February 23, 2005

• Brian flopped down on the carpet, panting, mopping the sweat from his body with his t-shirt. He gave one swollen, sore ankle a tentative twist and winced at the report from his nervous system. A beer sounded good. So did a chocolate creme brulee. Nothing was worth this agony, nothing.
• Sorry, we're no longer taking submissions. I just dont have the time to keep updating the site. If anyone wants to start up their own site using the same idea, please feel free. Argh. So where do we tell our stories, MCT?
• *slaps herself* Sorry. Good site (^_^) )))
• Valentines' Day I woke to the sound of her pulling on her jeans. Without moving, stealthily, I opened one eye to watch her shove her belongings into her backpack, searching my closet for clothes hung there on happier days. I knew, as she quietly left, I'd never see her again.
• Immortal “Marry me,” he said. “I can’t. I don’t love you.” she replied. He left. She had raised him, raised his father, countless grandfathers before him. They had each asked the same question. She always gave the same reply. “I don’t love you.” But every time, she had lied. Every time.
• *hands Alnedra a frozen banana daquiri*
• The wheels began to shake violently, shifting in ever widening arcs from their intended radii. Bobby cursed his impotent handicraft. Every screw tightened, every glued shim was dross if the wheels came off. And worse, Jimmy Wren was closing the gap. God help him, it was going to be close.
• BTW, I started a fifty word fiction section on my own site...haven't added one in a while, but maybe I should start doing that again. The earlier ones are all kind of violent...
• There it was again. The mist swirled closer, condensing and falling from the sheltering branches above. Eyes met. They were here now. Ruaraidh left his two comrades and moved up to the sniping point they’d scouted earlier below the tor. The engines of the heavy armour rumbled up from below.
• "Zorg - listen to me!" Thornax 7 yelled. "We haven't got much time!" "What-?" (the alien amoeba was always a little slow on the uptake). Exasperated, Thornax explained: “Professor Xoxoid has calculated the almost-exact trajectory of the neutrino bomb – It’s heading straight for us! We only have four seconds to
• It's Espresso Stories x2.
• My friend Tone has been doing "hundred-word stories" for a couple of years now. Many of them are collected here on his site Clusterstruck. full disclosure: not a self-link, but a link to an old friend's work
• The Scarlatti Tilt, by Richard Brautigan 'It's very hard to live in a studio apartment in San Jose with a man who's learnning to play the violin.' That's what she told the police when she handed them the empty revolver.
• So anyways, it's made of finest teak. The wood's delicately aged. Look at the fine grain. You want barrelwear with a pedigree-- not just any old beer keg. You want a barrel that says "I'm insolvent, but I still care about style".
• MonkeyFilter: I'm insolvent, but I still care about style.
• The day was hot. Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very hot, she thought.
• It was a dark, stormy night, and the wind was howling around the house. She started up from bed, alarmed by the sudden noises emanating from the hallway. Clutching a baseball bat and cel phone, she walked warily into the darkness, then slipped as she collided with the vomiting dog.
• I have to say, I like the monkeys' better than the site's. ) to all. I like the super-short fiction, having read a lot of 100-word stuff. Not as Serious Literature, but as a way to express one intriguing thought or image. And hey, maybe from such acorns etc.
• My husband and I have a book called The World's Shortest Stories edited by Steve Moss, featuring a good selection of 55-word stories. It normally lives in our guest bathroom. A friend of ours wrote a really good set of SF stories called 100x100 (100 stories, 100 words) and posted them both to a mailing list we were on and to alt.talk.bizarre (apparently). Here's one. Sadly, I don't think there's a full archive loose on the web, or I'd point you at them.
• And no sooner do I post that than I find his old web page! Here they are: 100x100.
• Kent felt that his chest was a microwave, and his heart was a baking potato - poked and stabbed and spinning under heat and pressure, with eyes only for Sarah.
• “Your people would be nowhere without mine”, Amaryll glowered. “And you would be nowhere without me”, she continued. “Don’t forget that. I promised I’d return your power to you. Don’t make me retract that promise and reconsider how useful you are. For, should your usefulness end, so will you.”
• Here's one based on a true story: Like a bottle cap stubbornly resting at the bottom of a toilet, Catherine was a girl David couldn't reach, nor could he flush from his mind.
• Hee, nice one, Pickle!
• I heard a story once about Hemingway sitting at a bar and betting the guy next to him that he could tell him a short story with just 4 words, which turned out to be "For sale: baby shoes."
• Hwingo - that's genius.
• We killed the Pumpkin King. Even today, I can look back and see the shock on his face as the dough covered him. We had no choice. He was working with the turkeys for Christ's sake. So we did it, we killed him. Then we ate him. Best Thanksgiving ever.
• I've heard it said that severed body parts can survive for up to four days before being reattached. This is my mantra as I watch my body try to pump blood to my head, which is now inconveniently on the far side of the room, upside down, and spinning.
• “What’s that?” “Nothing.” “Let me see.” ”It’s nothing!” ”You didn’t….You got another one, didn’t you?” “I just saw it on my way home!” “Well, I don’t care, it’s going back tomorrow.” “Awww…” “And don’t try burying it in the basement like the others.” “Can’t I just keep one leg?”
• immlass, those are wonderful! I got sucked in and read every one!
• He was intoxicated on her strange tang. Dizziness, a strange beautiful patina on every mundane object; disability to focus, except on her eyes. One more day. Discovering all those places already ingrained in their memories, for the first time. The cruel joke: "…not finding him lonely enough, He created Woman".
• From far away, the only thing that could be seen was a young man sleeping in fields and fields of sunflowers stretching out in all directions. On closer inspection, however, one could see the two red holes in his side, neither jarring nor particularly surprising considering all that had happened.
• In A.D. 2101, war was beginning. "What happen?" "Somebody set up us the bomb." "We get signal." "What!" "Main screen turn on." "It's you!!" "How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us." "What you say!!" "You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha..."
• The diesel air filled his lungs as he stepped off the Greyhound into the chill night; his every belonging slung over one shoulder. He walked to a diner where a pretty blonde waitress filled his cup. "Here's to new beginnings" he muttered, staring through the window at his new life.
• Roberta first saw God at the instant of sexual climax. He was unexpectedly short, crouching in the corner, giggling. After Brian left next morning, they went for coffee together (He introduced her to some Angels). Eventually, God moved in, and they got TiVo. God said it reminded him of omniscience.
• Banana-colored quill and yellow ink for flashboy.
• So, Eliot was right, he thought to himself. He put on his snowshoes and went outside into the ash. This is always the way the world ends.
• And, because I didn't use 50 words on that last one, I'm going to break the rules and use them on this one :) Kindness of Strangers When she woke, she realised they had taken everything. Her purse, her rings, her necklace. Her car keys. She pushed herself up, off the alley wall and stood unsteadily, one broken heel and a grazed knee. Boy were they going to be sorry when they opened the trunk. She smiled through bruised lips and started whistling as she walked out into the sunlight.
• An obituary for the author of my favourite short(est) story: "Upon waking, the dinosaur was still there." And )))) for everyone else :)
• In similar news, Last Lines From Best American Short Stories Not Yet Written. (And, a few lists down, a pant-wettingly funny contribution from our own jacobw.)
• Flash wins.
• Wow, Gestas, Monterroso sounds amazing. He's gone right to the top of my must-read list. Cheers!
• He stared blankly at the paper, plagued by writer's block. "Fuck," he thought. "Thank God this only has to be fifty words or I would be fucked." The next blank line on the page taunted him menacingly, but he knew then that it would only be a matter of time.
• Derny joined an online community, but he had a hidden agenda. He began to post comments with subliminal messages that would infect the mind of any reader. Suddenly, on February 25, 2005, all of the members of the community who had read his comments died.
• bernockle had a brief. A stiff brief. A mean hard cold brief that would tax his intellect, his ability, his experience and his talent to their limits. Still, half a pound of chocolate sultanas, three Knob Creeks, and four hours of MonkeyFilter could only improve his chances of nailing it.
• Overturned, the sight of the broken wheelbarrow (the expensive one from Home Depot), the garden gnomes in shards, the ripped-up tulip beds -- it fuelled his murderous rage. Through clenched teeth he knew, his neighbour, the whirling dervish would dance on his lawn for the very last time.
• The explosions faded as the sound of boots approached the door. Underneath, her blood slowly trickled towards me. I held the keypad in my hand and entered the remaining codes, thumb caressing the final zero. I wanted to see his eyes when it happened.
• As the sun rose over the lagoon a keel began to emerge from the receding tide. By noon, the carcass of the capsized boat was fully visible and finally, at dusk, the sea had reclaimed her entirely. The water reflected light from a small fire on the beach.
• Its garment glimmered, aeon beams shooting from the tropospheric entity, advancing with rabid flurrying. Though quantum physics had posited it might not exist, she had to ask the obvious question to the theoretical beast. "Is that a particle storm under your robe, or are you just happy to see me?"
• flashboy, I must admit that's the only story I've read of his :) Nature, Red in Tooth and Claw. "Marshall the squirrels", roared the Superintendent, "And bring us around. It’s time to fight fire with fire!” The monkey nodded his head, and bent to his task. Five badgers steadied the field gun next to him, and he still needed to get the sparrow regiment in formation. War was hell.
• Buy One, Get One Free. ‘“Just add water”, the packet said.’ ‘So?’ ‘I added water.’ ‘Ah…’ ‘Well, what do I do now?’ ‘Hey, don’t look at me. You bought this, you deal with it.’ ‘I just didn’t think it would get so… complicated.’ ‘Next time, read the small print: “Earth™ may develop life. Morality not included.”’
• "I finally did it, my Act of Revenge." "So tell me about it," chirped Satan, dealing out the cards. "Well, on Earth, today it's Easter," smiled Christ, winking at his opponent. "Look there below."" "Damn straight," chuckled Satan, not referring to his hand. On the firmament below, amidst an Easter breeze - they were nailed up on telephone poles.
• I just need 50 words to write my story... Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan. Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me. Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much. Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free.