February 23, 2005

Calling creative minds! Boss turns 40 tomorrow, and admin asked me to create a list of "appointments" that she could post to his electronic calendar. I need some creative ideas to add to my short list... note, boss has good sense of humor (not easily offended), but he *is* the fella who pays us. Monkeys?
  • Ack... sorry, I omitted the "Curious George" part. Must get more coffee.
  • hmm. the obvious: life insurance update, consultation with lawyer re: will, and proctologist exam. appointment to pick up his new red Miata convertable? you could add a lunch date with G. Reaper?
  • Colonic irrigation. Tax man 'Executive relief' with Urma de la Touche (lunchtime)
  • electrolysis for nose and ear hair.
  • 10.41am: Put left foot in. 10.42am: Take left foot out. 10.43am: Put left foot in. 10.44am: Shake it all about.
  • 11:05 am: Call Hair Care Club for Men.
  • -Hair replacement surgery -Prostate exam -Memorial service for libido
  • 4:00 pm - Leave work early to shop for new walking cane and hearing aids.
  • -Shop for replacement sock garters -Hitch pants up to nipples -Tell damn kids to get off my lawn -Cut up Nerf footballs in backyard -Ask random women if they are Mommy
  • To do: Buy presents for [insert staff names] Buy dog for [insert kid's or SO's name]
  • 2.00pm-2.47pm: fire everyone younger than you. 2.48pm: call Carl in Accounts, tell him you are "the youngest stud in the office".
  • casket shopping
  • 10am - Metamucil
  • 11:57 -- Worship at shrine to William Shatner's virility, chant "Denny Crane" repeatedly.
  • 2:30 - Go to the dentist. (Get it?) 3:30 - Apologize to that woman from the other table last night. 8:00pm - Bowling with Jesus
  • umm.. -buy new house/look into real estate on far side of hill.
  • 3.30 - begin slow, inevitable, soul-destroying downhill slide into the grave. 4.00 - BUY A HARLEY AND A LEATHER JACKET!!! YOU'RE STILL YOUNG!!! YOU'LL LOOK COOL!
  • some of these had me near a spit-take-- and half of the office is now signing up on the filter. thanks much. (and sexy, darlin', i'm not even 35 yet... and i have reservations at D'Amico Cucina at 6pm. Fly in and I'll give you the tour.)
  • petebest, I get it... uggghhhhh, bad
  • 6PM- take cialis 10PM- call doctor...
  • 2:45 -- Begin affair with woman who looks like wife used to twenty years ago. 3:00 -- Call attorney. 3:30 -- Freeze assets.
  • Return call: Mr Lyon (insert number of local zoo) I know - old, tired, but fun to watch.
  • 2:00 Become a Republican.
  • 10:15 Bill Harris with IRS Criminal Investigations Division "... oh, and your accountant called, he's fled the country and wanted to apologize for the 'situation' ..."