January 27, 2004

• And without it being genetically modified. Uh huh. I think what happens is on Day Nine of your plant's growth, little elves sneak in with a marker pen and write on each leaf in the middle of the night. You'd better hope they get paid well or you'll end up with "You're a loser!" scribbled in place of "I love you."
• What th'?? does it come with a little rubber stamp? Y'know it looks more like a retirement gift than a valentine. The marketing department is drunk again.
• It can also talk, is telepathic, and lists its hobbies on a business card.
• oh, man, flashboy, now i REALLY want one!
• Does it ship with magical and entertaining Sea Monkeys?
• The same site offers as their "top seller" the ABGymnic Muscle Toning Belt (shades of the Ab-abber 2000), which promises, Ten minutes on the AbGymnic is the equivalent of 600 sit-ups! and Proven for fantastic [literally] results. You can also get Mr. T in Your Pocket, which has a hundred obvious household uses.
• Quit your jibba jabba, goetter. heh.
• Seriously, though, it's probably a fake plant which is pushed up through the hole by the addition of water. Perhaps it's sitting on a sponge, or something which floats. It may be possible to do this with genetic engineering (after all, certain animals do have specific markings-- cats with an 'M' on the forehead?) but not with today's technology.
• but... but... but what about the magic bean?
• That's Mr. T in your pocket, goetter? But... I thought you were pleased to see me... Oh, it's all so romantic!
• Guys that still listen to the vocalist known as Ronnie James Dio are probably wondering if the love plant is smokable.
• Meanwhile, a Danish biotech company has developed a genetically modified flower that could help detect land mines.
• Pray god let it have the word "BANG!!" written on its leaves when it grows to full size... respeck to tha bioteck, btw. 'tis a fine development
• How the love plant works. When the plant grows only the first set of leaves show the message the rest dont, this is due to the fact that the first set of leaves are actually the internal lining of seed casing. So anything that happens to the seed casing can be copied onto the first leaves. Buy burning (probably via a high accuracy laser) the message onto the seeds external casing it get copied onto the first set of leaves when it grows. Quite simple really, none of this genetically modified technology
• Thanks GJR! Monkeys know so much useful stuff : ) Actually, knowing how it's done makes the plant more appealing - I had wondered if it might be fake. Mysteries are less interesting than botany.
• GJR wins.