February 14, 2005

Patent attempted for human and ape lab chimera A New York scientist's seven-year effort to win a patent on a laboratory-conceived creature that is part human and part animal ended in failure Friday, closing a historic and somewhat ghoulish chapter in American intellectual-property law.
posted by ataribot 19 years ago
  • I'm totally down with this - If a man can't breed himself an army of hideous ape-men to do his evil bidding then the American dream is a WORTHLESS LIE.
  • And, hi ataribot!
  • quidnunc, a man can still breed himself an army of hideous ape-men to do his evil bidding, I can just copy his army of hideous ape-men to create an army to do my bidding without having to pay royalties! (genetic) Information wants to be freeeeeeeee!!!!!
  • oh yeah good point. To the lab!
  • exactly, viva open source hideous ape-men!
  • "God schmod, I want my monkeyman!" -- Bart Simpson
  • It's kinda unfortunate that all the media commentary surrounding this has focused on the (admittedly very scary) idea of this human-ape chimera, when in fact the patent application was filed as a protest of the entire idea of patenting these biological processes. I fully second the viva open source biology sentiment, but to me, what's much more scary than this straw-man patent is the idea that a few years down the road companies are going to be seriously trying to patent therapies that use similar techniques.
  • This army of hideous ape-men is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
  • I was denied a patent for a method of masturbation. The bastards don't deserve to experience such pleasure.
  • and yet, Kramerica Industries' Pig-Man project languishes. Is there no justice?
  • What? Did someone call?
  • Whoa...suddenly I see chimaera in a whole different ape-tinted light.
  • I suppose the knuckle dragging doesn't do much to dissuade that.
  • Yes, but can we make them our willing concubines? And is there a way to include clown-like characteristics in the genetic makeup -- big floppy feet or honking nipples or something? Only idle curiosity prompts my question, of course. /honk
  • When it gets to the point where people are asking permission to do something(legally), it usually means it`s already been done, by someone, somewhere. They can`t stop us now(diabolical laughter)
  • By the way, ape-tinted light is a sort of grey brown.
  • I wonder what monkey tases like? It would be tastey, done like Chinese BBQ. Everythings tastey BBQ'd. MMMMmmmmmm. curied monkey.
  • Humanzee!
  • I would pay money to see these creatures. And poke them with sticks.