February 12, 2005

Best Headline of the Year?
posted by drjimmy11 19 years ago
  • I can't wait to see Arnold retire from office and star in the fourth Whizzinator film. Hopefully Annie Sprinkle will be his love interest.
  • I agree it's a great headline, but that's because the material was solid. I think they could have done better... Sizemore's Phony Penis Fails Him in Drug Test Meth Test Positive After Fake Penis Found in Sizemore's Pants ...and so on.
  • Only one better might be: Actor Tom Drugmore Fails Size Test with Fake Penis
  • Damn phony penis, getting his hopes up like that! Shame on you!
  • Film Fellow in Phony Phallus Flap
  • ... paging Beeswacky to write a poem about this!
  • or... Tom's Dong Wrong! Sizemore Loses Pissing Match
  • This guy's a mess. That sucks. The headline's amazing, though. And that there's such a thing as a Whizzinator! People are awesome!
  • That's what I was looking for, drjimmy11. Hooray for alliteration!
  • According to prosecutors, Sizemore had been caught once before trying to use a similar device, sold over the Internet under the brand name the Whizzinator, and had failed drug tests on at least five occasions. Daaaamn, that's one stupit dude. If it didn't work the FIRST time ....
  • At least Christian Slater has someone to hang out with now.
  • GETINTHEBACKOFTHEVAN! </obligatory>
  • Daaaamn, that's one stupit dude. If it didn't work the FIRST time .... Who says that was the first time? He could've used it thirty times, got caught once, used it thirty more times, got caught again. With those odds, I'd keep using the fake penis.
  • Judge Antonio Baretto had agreed to allow Sizemore to travel...on condition that he pass a drug test every day...the actor's failed attempt to fake his drug test results came on the first day of the new requirement...Sizemore failed three drug tests in three days Nope, think he's just stupid. Or at least well into total meth-head territory. Great for those brain cells.
  • Monkeyfilter: With those odds, I'd keep using the fake penis.
  • So ypu're telling me that Sizemore matters?
  • *rimshot*
  • Tabloid version... "Tom's Dick Deke Don't!"
  • "Phaked Phallus Phuckup"
  • "Tom Methed Up Good; Counterfeit Cock Cans Cambodia Comeback"
  • He might've got the notion from Withnail and I.
  • Hmm. Disappointing. Good actor, but really bad judgement in life. I understand drug addiction is a disease, but you'd think if anyone could get successful treatment that a famous Hollywood-type could? The real question is though: how does his sentence correspond to Joe Average who gets caught in the same situation? Is it always a case of "punish the nobodies, empathise with the famous?"
  • You're on it, Drjimmy11. Way to pull out a tagline!
  • You are brilliant at the headlines, moneyjane.
  • "Tom Sizemore: Urine Trouble."
  • "Dodgy Dick Deception."
  • Moneyjane wins.
  • Moneyjane wins. By a mile.
  • Sizemore must have thought the piss test was an audition for Boogie Nights II