February 10, 2005

Sweatin' Monkey: Being the worst creative thinker of gifts out there, I am imploring the ever-brainy simians for some help on a Valentine's Day gift for my sweetie.

She is a fun, active, homeowner who doesn't like baubles all that much and I don't want to get all domestic on her with a blender. Sex life is stellar but I don't think she would be interested in any toys we don't already have. She never drops hints... I am one screwed monkey. Any ideas? What are you getting yours?

posted by Johnny Hazard 19 years ago
  • *cries*
  • I always make chocolate dipped strawberries. It's delicious and super-easy. I'll post the recipe when I get home.
  • I got a barbershop quartet to go sing to her during the day. She seemed happy with that.
  • Classy Gift: Flowers, simple and classic Not-classy gift: Porn
  • surprise.com is a cool site where you describe your sweetie and it offers suggestions, that's worth a try.
  • Once I made at least 100 small construction paper hearts and put them all over the walls with a sentimental memory written on each. That and a token gift might work nice. My wife still talks about it.
  • DEAR GOD WHY DOES NO ONE LOVE ME???
  • don't answer that
  • I love you quidnunc. Now shut the fuck up.
  • we love you quid! hey johnny how's about a giant fortune cookie with footlong fortune inside? that's from surprise.com under "fun" for valentine's day...
  • Go to Barnes & Noble. Get a copy of The Pop-Up Kama Sutra. Trust me on this. Got it for my wife one Christmas, and she adored it. Everyone who visits our house and sees it thinks it's the best thing ever. A really fun Valentine-inspired gift. On preview, send one to quidnunc as well with some polaroids of yourself.
  • I wonder if I could somehow etch sentimental memories on heart-shaped strawberries dipped in chocolate? Seriously, though... I am digging the idea of hand made things. I will probably do both of those. Any other romantics out there with groovy ideas?
  • Three words: Hot. Monkey. Lovin'
  • Awww...quid. Get a train ticket to Loughborough Monday and I'll take you out to dinner (^_^) A wrap/shawl/scarf in her favourite color? I can never have too many of those.
  • aw thanks sweety but I is chained to work!
  • oh mid i may just have to go buy that... what a great idea!
  • I have given live flowers each year. I chose a red Gerber Daisy because it blooms at this time of year here, and is hardy. Each year I buy some more, place them in the dining room for the week of VD, and then plant them with the others. As the years have gone by the collection has increased, and the flowers are there right now.
  • Any type of Daisy's make a good gift, even the cut ones will last a couple of weeks.
  • daisy_mays?
  • Mmmhh... they have some previously owned copies of that pop-up: 44 used & new from $8.00... ...Comments: internally very good, light cover wear; pop-ups all intact, tabs a bit worn Eurrgh. Even I wouldn't be that a cheapskate.
  • Quid: What can I say? You are a pervert. Nobody wants to spend Valentine's Day with a pervert. Unh, never mind.
  • The current issue of Ready-Made has an article on making Valentines from pilfered office supplies. I plan on buying a bag of good-quality chocolate chips and an assortment of fruit. Mix a half teaspoon or so of oil with the chocolate, and you can melt it in the microwave without forming clumps - instant chocolate fondue!
  • A live monkey. or two.
  • tabs a bit worn ewwwww....
  • okay, to be serious: offer a weekend getaway for the next convenient weekend... either a local b&b or the next major metropolis for 48 hours of culture, or a gift certificate for a massage, manicure/pedicure (or a general spa package), or find a play or band that she likes and get some good seats. or, the cheap but high impact solution: buy her a great new pair of slippers, have a rose in a vase by the bed when she wakes up, complete with card (handwritten note added); have her favorite pastry waiting in the kitchen, perhaps a small bag of favorite coffee ready to prepare. Take her out to a good lunch or dinner (or get her a great take out lunch for her to take to work), and consider a movie she'd like or a pretty walk to take afterwards. Easy.
  • ...the week of VD *falls over laughing* Does anyone still remember when STDs were called "venereal diseases"? When did that term fall out of favour?
  • About the same time the greeting card companies co-opted Valentine's Day. Hums the tune to the old commercial jingle Nell Carter used to sing..."VD! Gets arouuuuund!"
  • The spa package always goes over well.
  • Cook her a full multi-course meal, complete with dessert, that focuses on her favorite foods. Serve it with a chilled bottle of bubbly, (I recommend a nice Prosecco, which is both cheap and good, or Veuve Cliquot Rose if you're breaking out the big bucks.) Lower the lights, light some candles, and put some Sinatra on the stereo. Too bad I don't have anyone I can do this for this year...
  • wow, jaypro, if i didn't have my sweetie i'd definitely want you to be my valentine! *sucker for sinatra*
  • Thanks SideDish. Hope your sweetie comes through with something fantastic for you.
  • give her the cook book 'intercourses.' plan the evening around something out of that book - one of the desserts maybe or feed her chocolate dipped strawberries that someone mentioned. get champagne too.
  • To complement a gift of chocolate and fruit and bubbly, I recommend a milk bath. Go out, get four or five four-litre bags of milk, maybe a couple more, dump them in the tub. Fill up the rest with hot water -- an all-milk bath is probably kind of gross and/or stinky, but you still want a good proportion in there. Throw in a few rose petals, to accent the whiteness, and make it seem even more sensual. Maybe make a rose-petal trail to the tub, little candles, little Sinatra, and you're all set. In itself, the milk bath isn't all that sensational, but the sheer decadence of it is overwhelming. After all, who took milk baths? Cleopatra. By inferrence, you're calling her your beautiful queen. It takes a little planning and effort, sneaking multiple bags of milk around, so give yourself some time. But not too much time, obviously. But that's the beauty of the plan -- even if it doesn't work, you'll get full marks for effort. Good luck!
  • My wife and I agreed long ago that Valentine's day is just pure, undiluted stupidity, so I'm not the one to give the advice here. However, carefully preparing a great meal for your loved one is always welcome, be it on February 14th or June 28th. Skip the Sinatra, too -- go for some decent jazz if that's what you think will add to the mood.
  • nobody loves me either If somebody DID love me, they'd send me flowers at work (this has never happened in my whole life) and take me out to dinner at a really fabulous restaurant (this has) and then take me home where there would be something like sexy lingerie waiting on my pillow (no comment.)
  • Before mygothlaundry says anymore, I should remind her that I, too, live in North Carolina and I cannot be trusted.
  • Chocolate Dipped Strawberries 5 oz. bittersweet chocolate, chopped 1 pint fresh strawberries Melt chocolate in a double boiler over simmering water (if you don't have one, use 2 saucepans, one that can sit inside the other with its bottom touching the water, or a saucepan and a metal bowl. You can also microwave the chocolate). Holding berries by the stem, dip each in chocolate until 3/4 covered. Place stem-down on a wire cooling rack in the fridge until hardened. The hardest part is getting them to sit on the wire rack without flopping over, especially when transferring to the fridge. But its worth the effort.
  • Or alternately, one could dip oneself in chocolate. I know i could sit on a wire rack without flopping over.
  • Lingere and lollipops. Woman love them, and they're gifts that keep giving. Especially the lollipops.
  • Alcohol & Chinese Food. Everyone loves MSG and plausible deniability.