January 24, 2004
It appears that dodgeball is the latest hip thing.
Why, even Ben Afflec is getting in on it. When will you?
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This is over the instant some high powered attorney flattens the nose of a client. Actually it was over when Affleck started. Back when I was a kid we played "Smear the Queer." Try starting THAT up in your fancy schmancy San Fran health clubs...
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Dodgeball can never be safe and fun. It's either/or, people.
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forks, I lived in San Francisco for 13 years and I think they still play a game that goes by that name. I believe the rules are adopted from summer camp though. (Thanks Roderick, Ken, and RLH) On the home front, (Iowa) they don't let my kids play tag during recess. Banned under the rubric of "pursuit games". In Iowa. Also: If Joyce Carrol Oates had my grade school gym teacher Ms. Boehm the ISBN 0880013850 would yield the title "On Dodgeball"
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Who is this Ben Affleck? He drives a Dodge?
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Oops, my win98 absconded with my text as I was first posting. Please insert "not that there is anything wrong with that" above where it makes you feel better.
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We played headkicker and smear the queer. Headkicker, the greatest name ever thought up by a bunch of hyperactive third graders, was soccer with the additional rule that the only way you could score a point was if the ball had first bounced off an opponent's head. The more I think about it, the more I realize elementary school was really messed up.
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I'd pay $100 USD for the chance to throw a ball at Affleck's head.
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Speaking for all the other fat and unpopular kids in grade school: Fuck you, Ben Affleck.