January 27, 2005

The Secrets of Zchocolate. The "one in a million chocolate." Only $1,000 per box. But don't ask what the box looks like: "We don't publish the box image. So either you know what it looks like, or you don't know. It's not a fancy box, we're not box makers... we're chocolatiers. But each box has multiple unique identifiers to guarantee that you are receiving zhocolate and not a copy-cat."
posted by SideDish 19 years ago
  • oh no.... ANOTHER strange chocolate link... must.resist.snark.attack. I will NOT stand in line for this one...give me a Dove Dark Chocolate bar and I'm a happy camper and it cost me less than a buck! :)
  • Andre explained to me that he makes his chocolate with a unique, time consuming methodology that he invented. He called it "pulsing" the chocolate, something that no other chocolatier does to his knowledge. What that term means specifically is a secret only Andre knows. Hmmm... Needs more dog.
  • Andre (not his real name) is an intensely private chocolatier bwhaaaaaaaaa! i love this site.
  • Thanks a million zhocolate! Now I know how to spend my tax refund and further stimulate the economy...
  • ...He called it "pulsing" the chocolate... You sick fuck.
  • This can't be for real. Oh and "Even though we can't guarantee that no one else that you know will have a Zhocolate Box, you will likely know if someone that you know doesn't." Does this make sense to anyone?
  • it's existential, methinks. a parody wrapped in a satire enrobed in $1,000 zchocolate. heh.
  • Who can afford to pay that much for chocolate? I love Love LOVE chocolate, but I don't have $1000 to spend on a tiny amount of chocolate. They should really have other options - like ordering only a square of it to taste for $50. I *might* do that, just because I have to know now.
  • Note: the word "cheatz" can be found in the word "Zhocolate". Then again, so can the phrase "ze hot cola".
  • To justify that price, that choco must have side effects like spontaneous 2 hour orgasms while at the supermarket, like that drug... Otherwise, it's not worth it. /orgasms choooocolate... mmmhhh...
  • Zhocolate is Zpeople!
  • Maybe each chocolate has an faint impression of Zhesus?
  • Secret ingredient? Heroin and cat hair. That's why he's all reticent. The box? "Godiva CZhocolate." $1000, thankyaverymuch.
  • I'd be more likely to believe it's not an elaborate joke if it were something other than a dusty rose pink yahoo store.
  • what patita said. it seems like a pretty expensive joke.
  • I'd say the giveaway is that it never anywhere says how much chocolate you get. 1 piece? 500g? 2 lbs? Either it's a joke, or they really are marketing to people too stupid and too rich to know better. The emperor has no clothes.
  • I went out with a girl with a one-in-a-million box.
  • Never understood the use of the word "box" in that context. Boxes are square. I learned as a child that round objects cannot fit in a square hole. Was this part of propaganda as a child to make us think that it was an act that simply could not be done?