January 23, 2005

• I've had it regularly all my life but it has to do with stress. Latterly, it has to do with drugs. Cannabis will zap your short term memory quite well, luckily this is not permanent. However, my grandmother has always had gapping, memory drop-outs, a blank, vapor-lock, whatever you want to call it, and it has never been an indicator of her 'losing her marbles'. So I shouldn't worry. Maybe you had your brains fucked out. Sorry, couldn't resist.
• Oh Nostril...into the corner! And no pudding! Heh.
• I have that happen fairly often: sometimes four or five times a day. It's usually annoying but very occasionally serious. (Yesterday I spaced out after putting some biscuits in the oven. I remembered when they started to smell, uhhh, "heavily caramelized." From two rooms away.) I find it's worse when I'm tired or stressed, and it seems to go hand-in-hand with dyslexia-like episodes. I generally don't worry too much about it, but I do find myself making a lots of "don't forget" notes.
• Once or twice a day. I almost always remember what it was, but is is a bit discomforting to realise that it is happening with more frequency as I get older.
• I do this every day. My work zip code and office number are particularly elusive. Been like this for years, it has never occurred to me to worry about it. Fortunately in academia the more forgetful/strange you act, the smarter people think you are.
• I can hardly remember whole chunks of my life (most of my childhood for starters) but for precisely that reason I'm not sure if this is a change induced by my wayward youthful excesses or if I was always like that. I wouldn't call it gapping - more a goldfish-like forced dwelling in the present. I have to say it doesn't particularly bother me, and I have the added bonus of getting pretty much the same amount of pleasure from a book no matter how many times I re-read it. I do find that I have an excellent memory for places. I can revisit somewhere I visited once years ago and navigate very well. Also very good at obscure bits of second language vocab, which helps my translation work. I don't know if these traits are related to any general state of my memory - say focused on trivia/specifics rather than narratives?
• I get the dyslexia thing too - like mental stuttering when I'm trying to have a conversation. Then it's charades and a lot of "You know, the thing that, that, uh does the stuff".
• I'm finding that my brain freezes and memory gaps are becoming more frequent but, as Abiezer says, there are some benefits. On the other hand,....what were we talking about?
• ..I will add that it is a major symptom of ADHD, which several of my family have, although I do not... but you don't have to have ADHD to exhibit this mental block; it is a normal event that occurs to everyone in one degree or another, if my neurological studies are correct. Good levels of sleep will help, in most cases. It may increase with age, or it may simply be something one notices more as one ages, due to more self awareness. Seratonin-inhibiting medications (some antidepressants) will exacerbate it, stimulants will lessen it unless abused in conjunction with other narcotics, in which case you will go quite barmy (amphetamines + cannabis = psychosis). I strongly recommend avoidance of speed & cocaine as these do damage to the memory areas of the brain long-term while offering short term apparent benefits to memory. LSD will fry your brain quite nicely for a period of time after a trip, causing lots of this sort of thing. Over use of hallucinogens can cause permanent damage. Um.. What was I talking about, again?
• Damn you, islander.
• • "Wait: what did I came looking for in this room?": check • "Aaargh, I have this (person's name/date/number/specific word/book title/author/movie title/song name) in the tip of tmy tongue but can't recall it...", only for it to suddenly emerge from my mind, hours later when doing the dishes and it's not needed anymore: check • Stress-related, recurrent dyslexia: check. Just skim some of my latest posts here... • Difficulty to focus, to come up with new stuff, creatively speaking: check All this has been delicately told to me as being age-related. Plus stress. Been taking some mild medication for relaxation, plus acupuncture, and they seem to help.
• The one type of memory that is well known to degrade for the elderly (of which you are surely not one, moneyjane) is prospective memory. That's remembering to "do something in the future, to execute our planned intentions at the right moment." I don't think that other forms of memory degradation related to aging are as likely or well-known. But certainly memory does begin to degrade as you get older, starting in one's twenties, I bet. I've noticed it more as I've moved through my late thirties. Mostly the gapping thing you're talking about. And it's not really that bad, I don't think.
• The "that thing, that does the stuff, to get the other suff, and stuff" dialogues that sometimes creep out in conversation irks the freak out of someone I know. 'It's nothing but mental laziness!! Think before you speak; don't verbalize your thoughts!!" she says.
• I firmly believe that there is nobody on earth who doesn't walk into a room to get something, look around, and say: "What am I in here for?", at least once a day. Perfectly normal. My mother keeps thinking she's getting Alzheimers and freaking out on me - and I have to keep telling her, Mom, you've ALWAYS been like this. Stop blaming it on age!
• Well, I'm 36 and my memory has been quite intact, I would say equally so as when I was 16. However we recently had a baby and I notice distinctly that my memory for small details has ramped down from like 72-96 hours to 36 hours (this I deduce from my journal writings). Thus I can't remember what I was doing three days ago. I've always heard that the mother has a hormonal amnesia after labor to diminish the memory of pain, but I wonder if the job of parenting (or any high stress work) may have a similar effect.
• Just reading this related story (via Mefi) about love and memory loss.
• Diet has a big part in maintaining brain function. They use to refer fish as being brain food, and then they decided it was actually lecithin, an animal protein in fish. Lecithin is a remarkable substance as it will soften inner organs, it`s good for liver, kidneys,the brain,,and will also aid stomach problems, as well as the skin. My grandmother use to spoon feed baking lecithin regularly. It use to be a major ingredient in almost any food you would eat, as icecream, but now in this plastic world it`s hardly in anything. You can purchase bottles of it at almost any healthfood store cheaply, which is the way to buy it. Don`t bother with the tablets. I like to put lots of it on pancakes, the syrup disguises the taste, and you cut down on sugar intake. This is the soy extract I buy http://www.outletnutrition.com/041178382406.html
• Get me some of this motherfuckin lecithin, STAT.
• I lose words and names (of celebrities and authors, etc, not people I know). One particularly alarming day, I lost the word "that" for a little while. That was scary :) I've always been this way, though. The rest of my family doesn't do this, but they have an innate inability to call people by their real names. They "call the roll." (Margaret, Molly, Meredith, Amanda... get over here!) More than one person in my family has been called the dog's name by their mom :)
• Cool. Either I'm normal, or the rest of you are nutty as baked owls too. My diet has been scurvy-prone as of late, and I'm on a couple SSRIs, so that probably covers it. Phew. It really weirded me out when I could *not* remember my phone number while filling out a form in a store the other day. Took a guess at it and was two numbers off.
• I get memory lapses all the time, and have been like that since I entered university. I'd open my fridge door and stare at it for two minutes, wondering what I was looking for. I don't have trouble with remembering some numbers (my phone numbers, parents' birthdays etc...) but can never remember others (friends' numbers, birthdays, certain passwords and PINs). One horrific interview I went through, I was asked what our president's name was, and I just could not dredge him out. I could name the previous three, and our two Prime Ministers, but not him. I was mortified, and the interviewers were definitely not impressed. When I get stressed, the memory gaps get worse and last longer. Also, I can never remember how long ago something took place in the past. Whether it was a year ago, or just a couple of months. I'm wondering if such a high occurence of memory problems among the (relatively) young in modern times might be due to lack of sleep. I believe that since the invention of the electric light, people have been sleeping less and less over the years.
• Memory lapses, dyslexia etc. happen to me fairly frequently, though it happens less if I'm getting a lot of cardiovascular exercise (when I was practising karate, I was sharp as a tack). I think the amount and quality of sleep you get may affect it. Stress is definitely a factor. But what about talking to yourself? Lately I've been talking to myself more, and caring less if people overhear.
• Moneyjane, you have a point but...., hell, why am I writing this again?
• I think you're on to something with the sleep deprivation thing, Alnedra. When I don't get enough sleep I have a helluva time trying to remember stuff. Where'd I put my keys? Where are my school books? What did I come into this room for? Once my sleep returns to normal, my memory improves. though I'm still unable to find my keys.
• Not kidding at all... but there was something that I used to know (password, phone number... I can't remember right now..) as I enter it on a near-daily basis, but a few days ago it took my about 6 tries to actually remember it.. (I was close though..) Unfortunately, I can't remember what the hell it was... (It definitely had numbers in it tho').. it must have something to do with work, I'll probably remember what it is tomorrow, but for now... SHIT!!!!!
• Talking to yourself is *not*, as folk knowledge would have it, a sign of madness; it is a rather normal & quite necessary thing for mental health. It's talking to imaginary people or things that aren't there that can get a bit worrisome. Depends. When you're in love, you'll find yourself talking to that person when alone, because you're focussing on them. When you're in hate you will too, I reckon. I know a bit about this shit because a couple of people in my family are schizophrenic. I've had long chats with psychs & neurologists, plus I've spent a lot of time having myself 'checked out' for craziness, worried that I might have inherited a 'crazy gene'. Luckily for Aspies, psychosis is unusual, it may even not be possible with that kind of neural structure. Then again, some would say that Asperger's syndrome *is* mental illness. /gibbers I find that when I'm drunk I start talking to myself, when alone. Probably the only way I can get a decent conversation. /cymbal
• Sorry to interrupt you people, but is this the bathroom? Or am I in the closet again? Whoa! Snakes!
• I told you, just say no to drugs. Leaves more for me
• I find that another cause of forgetfulness is being preoccupied. If I have a large problem or important decision to make, some parts of my brain seem to be working on it even if it isn't in the forefront of my mind. Once it's sorted out, things get much easier. But, I was shocked to figure out that I have a learning disability, or similar. I'm name-impaired. There have been times when I've wanted to introduce someone I've known for a long time, and absolutely can't come up with the name! I'll kind of think I may know it, but, then again, maybe not. So, I'm afraid to say what I think it is in case that's wrong. Really embarrassing when it's you boss. It's been like that ever since I can remember, but I didn't put the puzzle pieces together for years.
• I have these sort of memory problems on a daily basis, and I have almost no history with drugs and do not drink much. I've always blamed sleep deprivation, but the diet thing is something I hadn't ever considered. Also, you can essentially store memories in local objects and people. And lose them when those people or things are displaced. For instance, since I can be counted on to keep track of birthdays, my boyfriend doesn't bother learning them anymore. And seeing the mail on the table reminded me to pay my bills, so now that we moved the table I keep ending up with late fees. And now that I think about it, I think I remember books better that stay in my bookshelf, probably because I am subconsiously reminded of their content whenever I look at them.
• I use objects as triggers all the time - best way to make sure I don't forget something is to put something associated with it somewhere very out of place because I'm very quick to notice stuff that's 'wrong'. Ah, paranoia...what isn't it good for? I also use it on sandwiches.
• someone stores memories outside their body? Most people use parts of their brain! "I have these sort of memory problems on a daily basis, and I have almost no history with drugs and do not drink much." As your attorney, my advice to you is to start drinking heavily and smoke a huuuuuge marijuana cigarette, colloquially known as a 'joint'. This will cure your problems. Proceed.
• MJ, I'm with you. If you see me standing on the cliff edge, looking at the wheelchair and scratching my butt, appearing quite puzzled, please push me off. It's not me, it's all the fault of automatic dialing (why even learn a number if it's in that thingie, you know ... ahhhh, the address book! Of the ringy-thingy .... your cell phone. And my daughter named the grandkids Megan, Morgan, and Maddeline. It was bad enough with four different letters beginning my kids names. Now all GramMa can do when she wants to call somebody is Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, hey, YOU. Lucy-dog wonders why I address her as Blue--poor boy, he's been gone for at least 20 years and was at least four dogs ago. I know I bought a package of Reeses Pieces to eat the other day. I wonder where ....
• I ate them. And I ate them the wrong way.
• I do this all the time. I forget not only the date, but the day of the week. Sometimes even the season of the year or whether Christmas or Thanksgiving have already happened. Other people notice it when I talk. Most notably my then boss once said to me, "When you get all quiet like that, I used to think your mind was working hard on what you were going to say next. Now I realize you just go blank."
• Fish have very short memories, that's why. Upgrade your RAM.
• I had serious probems with this when I was a frenetic single mom of a baby. Once I actually forgot about her, left her in the car! I raced back for her and surrendered to Human Services. I was diagnosed with panic disorder, and put on Paxil, which is nasty and addictive. Bottom line, I've long come to peace with endlessly chattering to myself and conducting an ongoing narrative about what I'm doing and where I'm going. I don't care what others think, and this dialogue with myself allows me to construct my life. I notice my daughter does this as well occasionally, and I think it's healthy. I still forget things, but I no longer beat myself up about it. So don't worry too much, MJ, unless it interferes with your life.
• BlueHorse - you think 3 Ms are a problem? My brother was named John Martin F., after his father, he named his kids, Johnny Martin, Jamie M(something or other), Joseph M(something or other) Jacquelyn Marie, and Jennifer M(Something or other. The next generation (so far) is Janette, Johnny, Jiovannie (a girl), Julissa, Jai Monique, Jaibrielle, Jaishawn and Jayla. Most of them have an M name somewhere in the middle. If the tradition continues, I figure that the county we live in will be completely conquered by JMFs by 2050. And, of course, my mother and I wonder why no one named anyone after us.
• There's something about trying to do things that will really screw you up. Being an anxious person and an obsessive person I constantly look for reassurances and get so obsessed with my ability to do everything that I wind up unable to do them because I'm too busy thinking about doing them. My actions become attempts to prove I can do them and thus once that's proved I give up the effort and then I can't do them any more and the vicious cycle starts over. And the smaller the pieces you're trying to move, the more impossible the task becomes. The key is trust I think and letting go of worry or just accumulating enough confusion that you can't think straight enough to screw yourself up...currently, I'm making due with the latter.
• Also just clearing your mind of the forgotten conversations still rambling on in the backgorund can help get you back to automatic response mode. Being able to be completely engrossed in something helps. I find that through the guitar, but I also have found it in just doing the dishes when I'm really there doing them. Art is also good because it can help you find some resolution to the conflicts tying you up by non-verbal means (unless your writing of course).
• Nostrildamus: Over use of hallucinogens can cause permanent damage. Like what? Define 'over use'.
• I've given up trying to base myself in reality. I've been fighting it too long. I'm letting the insanity wash over me and I just don't care if I remember anything any more.
• Did I post here yet?
• Over use, like using it every day for a prolonged period. Or eating 5 tabs at once, and continuing to do so regularly. A dozen trips in a year is not going to screw you up unless you are already prone to being a nutbar. All those who hang around the druggie crowd have seen the 'acid casualties'.
• Where's my acid? I know I left it somewhere. Frogs!
• Over use, like using it every day for a prolonged period. Daily use leads to no effect by the 4th day, so that's a non-starter. For best results, a week is a good minimum interval. I haven't seen anyone used acid/shrooms more than once a week at the very most. Maybe, I just don't hang around the cool crowd like you do.
• SSRI's? Something Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitors? (I'm guessing) yeah, that'll probably do it...but if you've been on them for a while and this memory problem is only recent, then maybe you should talk to a doctor and maybe spend an afternoon with an MRI machine...better safe than sorry. you're in england, right? (i'm guessing from your 'pudding' comment) this should be free, right? or free plus waiting list and million forms, anyway...
• Stress, lack of sleep, stresss, malnutrution, stress, ingesting alcohol to excess, stress, illness, stress, and some drugs are all causes of gapping. Combine any two or three of the above for even more pronounced effects.
• It sounds like everyone's got it pretty well covered here. I'd suggest adding a multivitamin to your daily routine - see if that helps. Don't worry - it happens to the best of us. Yesterday I threw my cellphone in the trash while trying to plug some crumpled paper into the charger. Really.
• Gyan, an old girlfriend of mine worked on a hospital psych ward, and once had a patient of about 20 years of age who'd dropped acid, eaten mushrooms, and taken ecstasy all on the same night, in massive doses, and ended up a raving lunatic. As she put it, "He might get a bit better with time, but he ain't coming all the way back." Or, consider Roky Erickson.
• Aw, crap. Today, after posting here, went to the movies, to see that "Series of Unfortunate Events..." movie. Settle down, sip coffee, take a bite of apple snack... (movie spoiler ahead, btw) Movie starts, about some strange happy elf or gnome or something. After a couple minutes, I suppose it's a short like the one they ran before The Incredibles. Look to my companion, who's smiling at the film. The animation is sickly sweet. Oh, well, it'll be soon over, and then the movie will start... The movie. Which movie? What's the name of the movie we came to see??? I couldn't recall it. Of course, what I could recall was this thread. And then, the real movie starts. Ah, damned hollywood mind-fuckers. Damn.
• dare me moneyjane. just dare me...
• Talked to a doctor friend of mine (this post struck home, as I play the absent-minded professor a bit more often than is comforting); this is what he said: "Forget where your keys are? No problem, perfectly natural. Forget what your keys are *for*? You may want to consult a neurologist." He also said that taking gingko biloba is crap, memory speaking.
• "...Forget what your keys are *for*? You may want to consult a neurologist." Uh... but by that time, would you know what a neurologist was for?
• Good point. One hopes that anything really disruptive would occur gradually, allowing time for recognition and treatment. If, however, you forget what your keys are for because you got bonked really hard on the head, you might be f**ked.
• In Singapore, the word "bonk" can be used as a euphemism for "f**k". ... What were we talking about again?
• Causing quite a mental picture for the Singapreans amongst us, I can imagine!
• Really Fes? I have key rings full of old keys that I don't know what they're for. I think a locksmith would be whole lot cheaper than a neurologist, but the neurologist is probably covered by insurance, so if he can tell what all those keys are for, I guess I'll go to him first.
• About once a year I forget my PIN, which I've had for 8 years. It's really frustrating to be at the grocery store and swiping the debit card and then drawing a complete and total BLANK. I am mildly forgetful at times - like standing in front of a file cabinet and not remembering what I wanted to look up. It's gotten better since I started taking a daily vitamin and eating breakfast (instead of skipping it), but lack of sleep definitely makes it worse. YMMV.
• Once I mistook my wife for a hat. Now that was messy. And, to top it off, I've never been married, even...
• I've notice that my speolling and overall yinglish is geting atrotshus. Wrote a leter yestidday and spent mor time spel cheking then I did composting. I never was *grate* at speling, but I used to be able to rekignize if it was incorect to look itup.
• I was told by my doctor that ginko (and ginsing) is basically a blood thinner. He thought most of the claims made for it were complete bunk, and that it could be dangerous if someone who's either a bleeder or is on blood thinning therapy took them.
• I've had those "waving hands around *that..one..thing...you know!* moments pretty consistantly a few times a day for years and it drives me nuts, but since I've returned to school after winter break, I've been having serious typing and writing promblems. I keep miking up letters, or swapping them in a wrod. I'm just hoping it'll go away as I get back into the swing of things, because it's really starting ot freak me out...it's like my hands have a mind of their own, and it's definitely dyslexic.
• http://www.sciam.com/print_version.cfm?articleID=000519BF-3128-11E8-A28583414B7F0000
• The New York Times magazine had an article about this not long ago. A youngish middle-aged woman feared her memory loss had to do with early Alzheimers. Went through tons of tests (guess she could afford them). Eventually was reminded that her brother had brained her with something in her youth, and that she'd suffered a concussion thereby. I revised my opinion right then about modern-day parents who overprotect their children by making them wear helmets for every dang thing. The author eventually took (IIRC, and I've had more than one concussion) Ritalin, and eventually rejected it. One of the comforting points of the article was a quote from a neuro: If you think you have Alzheimers, you don't. Alzheimers robs you of the ability to make that cognizant leap. Not sure if I believe that. But I sold the shit out of the notion to my mother.
• Thank god, I'm more normal than I thought I was. Thank you all for posting your thoughts and allowing me to say "I'm not nuts". If I dont put (whatever) in front of the door tonight, I will NOT remember to take it with me the next day. I have to put it somewhere where I would have to trip over it, in order to forget it. Comical to others. Frustrating to me. If I dont use MS Outlook Calendar Reminders, I would never make it to an appointment or meeting on time. It simply will not happen in my world unless I use a Reminder. I once had a fellow LOM (Lack of Memory) Sufferer call me to ask me what day of the week it was. I told her 'today' to buy me some time to look it up.