January 22, 2005

• Sorry about the pain part Mfpb 2 21. If you're okay physically then sure, drinking is the next logical (?) step. It will get better, it will be okay. Drink and relax. Post the hell out of MoFi if you like, watch movies, search for the past breakup posts (I know there have been at least a couple) and get ready for the better times. Pretty pathetic, huh. Absolutely. But what do you expect from a site where quidnunc roams? With any luck, the wacky bee will create a frabjabulous wordsmithery for you. And if you're really good, Nostril will say something horribly uncalled for ;)
• Call your best friends. Tell them that you don't care what they are doing with their Friday night, you just got broken up with so they better get their butts over to your place. Make them go drinking with you. Get sloppy drunk. Say a lot of things you'd never normally get away with saying. Throw up. Get taken home and don't remember getting in bed. Wake up around 2pm feeling like shit with a bunch of answering machine messages from the above mentioned friends hoping you made it through the night without any alcohol related incidents. From there you are on your own, but the above seems to be my modus operandi.
• Just don't post anything about bush....
• Except for I just realized how old you are which means some of those steps might have to be skipped. You can also go with playing really depressing or angry music really fucking loudly and driving around aimlessly. But make sure you have someone with you when you do that. Trust me it is better that way.
• Drinking will ease the heartache tonight, but keep in mind that tomorrow will hold a double-whammy hangover and heartache combo. I find those very hard to deal with. And keep posting here...we'll get you through it.
• seriously... fuck her/him.... I'm sitting here RIGHT NOW with the light of my life... but in an earlier point... I fell to my knees, literally..cuz she left me... I thought i would be broken forever..damn... if I could lend you every ounce of strength I have...I would...damn...
• I found great comfort in the idea that "this too shall pass". Sounds lame, I know, but it helped me to meditate upon that. Also, I found that brisk walking did a great deal for me, including exercise my body, tire me out to sleep soundly, and it gave me time to think things through while still having some other, lower level thought processes going on (which way to turn, watch the traffic, etc.). I found that this pared down my thoughts and emotional wallowing so that I could efficiently handle what I was going through. Just know that your friends are there for you, MonkeyFilter is there for yo (do not underestimate the power of an online community), and when the time is rright, indulge in all of the house-egging and shutting-off-his-electric fantasies that you want (just don't really do them).
• Shit. Sorry to hear that. I actually ended up spending quite a lot of time on MoFi after my marriage disintegrated in April (particularly during summer, as I don't ever work then). So if turning to Monkeyfilter is pathetic, I'm marinating in pathos right along with you. Given your underage status I'd recommend against getting "NASCAR drunk." Keep busy, though. As much as it may seem like a nightmare now, it will get easier before you know it.
• That really sucks. It may sound lame at this time, but this is just a temporary setback. In the long run you will bounce back and realize this is probably a blessing in disguise. I send you hugs, and it isn't so pathetic to turn to monkeys for support.
• You know, meditation is actually a pretty good idea. Find a quiet, dark place in your house/apartment/igloo and set a watch timer for 20 minutes. Sit in any position you want (although you want to try to be as upright as possilbe - makes breathing easier). A technique I always used is to count breaths. On the exhale, I count up to one, and when I get to four breaths, I go back down to one again. Repeat until watch/phone alarm goes off. Every time your thoughts drift away from your breathing (especially if they go towards your unfortunate situation), make a note of it and then gently direct your focus back to your breath. And don't get frustrated - you'll probably have to redirect your thoughts a hundred times over the course of sitting there. When you finally stand up, you'll feel a lot calmer and focused. After I got dumped by my girlfriend (who I miraculously got back together with after a year), I started (or rather, resumed) meditating daily. I felt like the world was collapsing around me, but at least I was in greater control of myself. And if it doesn't work, you can then go get smashed. Or you can go get smashed if it does work, for that matter.
• If you can think of doing something that will divert your attention from what has happened and doesn't involve alcohol, then go for that. I would try and stay away from the depressants and things that make you depressed, and concentrate on the fact that your best choice (not always easy I know) is to avoid be bogged down in grief. Control the controllables, as the psychologists like to say.
• I'm 35. Really, truly, you will get over it. That's useless, and won't help, but it's true. I wouldn't hold off on the grief, myself. Cry. Howl. Write terrible poetry. Just keep yourself physically safe for a while until it wears off. Alcohol's just a delaying tactic - it works great for holding things off and staying numb, but you can't hold them off forever unless you want to become an alcoholic. Btw, over the phone is lame. Someone with class would do it to your face and let you slap them, if necessary.
• I would suggest smoking some good pot (granted, if you have access to said pot) and watching Basket Case. Then again, I'm very drunk and stoned, so you probably will want to not heed my advice.
• this is true.
• Dwell on it for a few days, let your emotions control you. Write, draw, do something creative based on those emotions. Drink if you want, I personally think it helps (bourbon is my choice), but it is not necessary. When you start to feel better, look at all your writings so you are pulled down again. It won't be so deep this time, and you'll get over it. When you get over it for the second time, put your recently created works into a trash can, add bourbon and ignite.
• *hugs*
• Having wild orgiastic sex with her girlfriends always helped me get through the tough patches.
• I did this one not too long ago. Well a few years but it still feels recent. Time is about all that will do it. Friends are NECESSARY. Good work better but take what you can get. Midnight calls to mommy are okay; this is what she signed on for when she had you. Music is helpful. IMPORTANT: Find music that you won't ever want to hear again because it will remind you of the relationship afterwards. Songs S/he liked work well. I found some serious solace in running and working out. Why not get in good shape so that s/he can eat his/er heart out? Plus the ambient pain may be the only thing that can distract you. Gym membership may save your life. The internet is an excellent drug: DO NOT OD. Do not marry your computer. Force yourself to get out of the house twice a day. Create structure for your life and rely on it. It'll carry you through. Occasionally low budget retail therapy is often helpful. Maybe a video game system? You need something to waste time with; idle time turns to pain. Also, try not to fall into despair. When despair hits, go running, painting, something. If you see it on the hill GO FAR AWAY. Best of luck pal. The monkeys will keep an eye out.
• And incidentally, there's nothing pathetic about posting to monkeyfilter. i've done more pathetic posts than this and I'm a regular fixture around here. on the internet, no one knows you're a basketcase.
• Also, props to meditation and sleep if possible. Boo to any sort of drugs/alcohol/binging. Pointless and counterproductive. Again, this too (be it ever so cliched and idiotic) shall pass.
• Now get off the internet and go have a good cry, goddamit.
• I say we skin and eat the bastage.
• I dont know if this helps: but listen to Bob Dylan's Lovesick. (it's from the Time out of Mind album)
• hey, if its any consolation, at least he didn't make you move 10,000 miles to be with him in a country where you have no green card, promising to financially support you, then dumping your ass and sending you home (to a city that you had just moved to in the first place and consequently only knew about 4 people in...) with a hundred dollars in your pocket and no ride from the airport even and you got to feel what you're feeling now, except completely stranded and up shit creek on top of it...and who is there? just when your massive breakup drinking binge hangover and 9 hours of jetlag are reallly kicking in? just to be the ICING ON THE CAKE? The bloody mother from 'everybody loves ramond' throwing massive starfits in the baggage claim area and howling obcenities at her handlers because her bag isn't first on the goddamn carousel! and all you can think is..."I really need to get some sleep right now, but first I have to turn to prostitution and how am I expected to do that with ALL THIS LUGGAGE and I think I could just lay down and die..." but you can't...the human body doesn't work that way... so you pick yourself up dust yourself off and start all over again and pretty soon you're eating caviar with supermodels and thinking about it less and less.....and later on you realize you're as good as new...except, of course, for that permanent scorch mark.... not that any of this has ever happend to me....
• Yeah, I should second Forks' workout recomendation. Going to the Gym/running ended up kind of replacing meditation for me - it provided the perfect combination of self-improvement and self-punishment that I was looking for. If done right, it can bring the focus and calming, too. And music, well, it's such a given for me I forget to mention it. Right now I've got Joanna Newsom's Milk-Eyed Mender on - it could probably hit the spot pretty well. Or maybe Underworld's Jumbo (Everything, Everything version). Or maybe....ah, forget it. You'd know better than I would.
• yeah sr, quit making stuff up.
• I third the workout recommendation. Sitting still lets you brood, and you get depressed. Moving the body releases endorphins, so you feel happier, and it's easier to get *mad* about the situation rather than sad when you're moving. So you have healthy chemicals working throughout your body and mind, you're getting into good shape, and you're not doing anything self-destructive. That said, you might want to take a day or two (not much more) to watch movies and huddle on the couch. I recommend the Marx Brothers. They're old, but they are *guaranteed* to make you giggle. Good (love free) comedies or movies where lots o' stuff blows up (may I recommend Die Hard?) always work for the wallowing phase. *hugs*
• And don't forget to masterbate!
• Mfpb 2 21, this is just hellish, and I am sorry you are going through this. The only thing to be said in favour of drinking is that it can give you the distraction of dealing with a hangover on top of feeling sad. If you want a real wallow in misery, get drunk. Then write about it in your memoirs. In the long run, usually nothing changes if you're drunk except it can make ye feel even lower. Normal to feel down after this. Talking to other folk is good. Try doing new things, change your recent routines of the day. Maybe find something that sounds interesting to do in the community -- visit an art gallery, go to the zoo. Or plan a trip to some where with friends -- something you've not done before. Finding a new activity to do with other folk is good. Meeting new poeple now is very good -- especially if you can have an ongoing project or activity which you can talk about with those new acquaintances. To distract yourself from feeling down, meeting new people will take your mind off yourself, and gives ypou a better chance of finding new friends. And ye get a different slant on things which you may not have thought about or considered before, etc. Other ways of distracting yourself -- help someone else out. Could try a stant as a volunteer. Or get a project of your own going -- install a new sound system in your house, or start a jug band, breed goats for the homeless, whatever strikes your fancy. Keep posting here. As I said, talking is good. Wish you the best.
• There's actually been a lot of research on this stuff and, if I recall correctly, the best strategy is to go out and distract yourself. q: But aren't half the people here telling me to sit around and mope about it? a: Yeah, that's the strategy that all the moping vs. self-distracting studies were investigating. They all say that distracting yourself is a better option. q: But if I ignore my emotions and go distract myself, won't that make me less in touch with my inner self, and thus less of a human being? a: Look, do you really want to be in touch with your emotions right now? The point is that they're so powerful you can't help but notice them. But if you indulge and wallow in them, they'll control you and hurt you, and that really will hurt your inner humanity. q: What about meditation? I hear that's good for post-traumatic stress? a: I bet it is, but I'd be inclined to lay off for a few days unless you're already quite experienced. If you don't already know how to meditate (I don't know, maybe you do) then you're probably liable to sit around thinking about getting dumped and feeling like crap. q: Ok, so distract myself... but everybody's telling me to go out drinking and I'm under the legal drinking age in the US (where I live) and thus have little access to alcohol. a: Those people encouraging you to drink are basically hankering after two things: catharsis and distraction. You can do this without alcohol. Go out and do things you like to do. Hang out with friends. Play sports or run. Watch brainless movies. Play really violent video games where you get to blow stuff up. Do things that don't require much thinking but make you feel good, distract you and release nervous tension. I think you'll find dumpees get given a lot of leaway by their friends, so exploit this. Swear a lot. q: Ok, I get it, I'm distracting myself... but I can't go on doing that forever. a: You know what? You don't have to. After a surprisingly short amount of time you'll stop feeling acutely depressed. After that you'll still feel bad, but it will come in waves. Most of the time you'll be fine, you'll feel miserable for a few moments, or hours, and then you'll feel fine again. Thing is, unlike with, say, the death of a loved one, you don't have any obligation to honour the memory of the departed. So when those moments of grief come, don't indulge them; you don't need to. q: But what if the grief doesn't go away? a: It will. But if it doesn't, say, if you're still feeling like this in two weeks, go to a doctor.
• It might take longer than two weeks, though. My first break-up took me more than a month to stop feeling like I had a dagger in my heart. But that might have been because I had to play it cool at home and pretend nothing had happened. But I second lots of the advice Dreadnought et al. have given (except the drinking bit). Talk to friends - about anything, doesn't have to be about your personal life. Get out there and get physically exhausted; it'll make the long dark nights seem shorter since you'll be fast asleep. And posting to Mofi may seem pathetic, but we're all friends here, and we do care about you. So talk to us when you want to. *Many hugs*
• So sorry about the breakup, Mfpb 2 21. By phone is tacky, and you're probably better off without someone who would do that to you. I don't have a lot of experience being broken up with--I haven't been in that many relationships and I tend to leave when I can't take any more--but when I split from my ex-husband, I found that volunteering helped, especially at the holidays. Not only did it distract me, afterwards I was happy that I had done something productive with my angst. (And it makes a great story when I tell people that I was out serving dinner to the less fortunate at Christmas while my post-divorce boy was doing his ex-girlfriend, but it took me a couple of years and a new man to appreciate that part.) I vote against drinking: apart from the age issue, it is a bad distraction. Forksy is right about getting out of the house, but that's for any depression, not just love-related depression. Ditto exercise and tiring yourself out. And I know it's cliched, but it really does get better. I was devastated when post-divorce boy dumped me, but now I'm married to a monkey I adore and I have fun mocking the boy in comments on a mutual friend's blog. (Seriously.)
• I'm sorry, Mfpb 2 21. This really sucks. Exercise is a great idea for distraction and working out some aggression. Also, cleaning your apartment is good, too. After I was dumped, my apartment never looked so good. You'll probably see changes in your sleep schedule for a little bit (either sleeping more, or much less than normal). If this continues for more than a few weeks, along with feeling really crappy and weight changes, get to a doctor.
• Video games, NIN, and a bottle of cheap wine.
• Sexyrobot, how many times do I have to apologize? I totally would have given you a ride to the airport if you had asked, but you had to go and be all passive-agressive about it. "No, I don't need a ride. I'm fine. Just FINE!" Not my fault that I took you at your word.
• To clarify, by 'feeling like this' in two weeks I meant feeling acutely depressed and unable to do anything but feel horribly sad. Why did I say this? Because feeling acutely depressed for two weeks is (if I remember correctly) the clinical deffeniton of a major depressive episode. A couple of weeks from now you will probably feel sad some of the time, but not nearly as bad as you're feeling now.
• I'd second the distraction method, and say that it can have benefits if you put the emotional energy into something that needed doing in your life anyway. I had a good friend many years back who, when in post break-up recovery, would strip down and rebuild the engine on one of the many junked up Land Rovers he was always buying to restore and sell on. His take was that it didn't change the awful reality in itslef but time healed him while his mind was occupied. And as he said "My heart's all broken but at least the V8 is purring like a cat". Stay strong.
• Right now, it's best not to be alone, whether that's online talking to other people or going out and doing something with your friends. Get out, do something physical (maybe paintball if you're feeling athletic, minigolf if you're not), overnight at someone's house, take a day trip that requires a lot of driving, and try to distract yourself with stuff outside your house and with sympathetic friends. You need to get through all those hours between waking up feeling alone and going to sleep feeling alone. If you can't get out of the house then do something brainless and busy like clean your room - really, you might not feel like it but it's a great way to make bad feelings or negative energy useful - play games, or start a project. If you find yourself getting down and needing an outlet with no one around to talk to, write it all out. Listen to some Henry Rollins spoken word or loud angry music (not downer depressio stuff). Treat yourself to something you like. Don't drink yet. The drinking is for after the shock phase is over and it really hits you. Don't overdo the drinking either, because it'll just make you feel crummier, and you're more likely to do stuff like call the ex up and cry at him that will make you feel hella stupid in the AM. It gets better. The best revenge is living well. Hope it gets easier soon.
• Sorry I wasn't active in IRC earlier btw; I had the window minimized. =/
• What everybody else said, and just to add: don't forget to eat. Low blood sugar is just going to make you feel worse. So sorry you're going through this, and posting here is not pathetic at all. Talk to us if it makes you feel better. This too shall pass. *big hugs*
• Quite alright Melinika, quite alright. Thank you so much for your kind words and hugs. You people really are awesome. I just woke up (breakup was last night), had about five seconds of mental freedom, and then all of the events of the past day just sort of came crashing down on me again. not a great feeling. I think perhaps an equally big problem to getting over the short term misery of this is going to be restructuring my entire life without him. We saw each other almost every day (~5 times a week) for six months. and now we won't. Before last night I hadn't seen him since Tuesday and it felt like forever... Christ. I'm not sure how to go about getting rid of all the tangible things either - taking him off speed dial, putting away (at least for now) all the things he gave me, hiding all the brilliant music that reminds me of him, taking his painting off the wall. Not to mention all of the things I let him borrow which are now lost... this is all going to suck. I may be more mature than average for my age, but I was probably in over my head. He was older, and he has his own place which I virtually lived at all this time. In fact, he's moving today, and once that happens I'll be completely cut off (not allowed to call him). I was supposed to help him move. Guess not. Ugh. never again. I'm under the legal drinking age in the US (where I live) and thus have little access to alcohol. I do have access to alcohol, but I'm going to wait until i really need to cry (I'm not a cryer). Until then I'm just going to have a cigarette or five and hang around Monkeyfilter. Thanks for everything guys.
• Mfbp - so sorry. Don't worry, it will get better. I promise. Breakups go in stages. First there's the shock and awe, then the depression and misery, then anger and vengeance, then finall acceptance. The key is to try and get through them as quickly as possible. Sounds to me like you're already in the depression/misery stage. Take a few days out to immerse yourself in it - eat entire pints of ice cream, watch cheesy movies, wear clothes that are as comfortable as possible despite how ugly they may look, and definitely get your friends to help you. Once you get to the anger stage, then start going to the gym or working out as often as possible. You'll feel better and feel better. I used to do 100 crunches for every ex, thinking all the while "you wish you could have had me when I looked this good." Maybe not the healthiest mindset, but looking in the mirror sure helped to restore my lost confidence in a hurry.
• er.. feel better and look better
• This sounds cheesey but being around animals helps. Look through the animal pix that Forky posted. If you don't have a pet to cuddle with, ask a friend if you can take their dog for a walk. Talk to the dog while you're walking. Volunteer at your local Humane Society. Critters will help you heal faster. I like what everyone said about doing something different or something you've always wanted to do. You're free. Here's your chance to open up a whole new part of your life. You'll grow and become a better person. It may not seem like it now, but it's true. Know that things will get better. Please keep yourself safe and strong.
• Best case scenario: drinking does not change anything. Worst case scenario: drinking makes things a lot worse. Drinking as a way of dealing with negative emotions is a disaster waiting to happen.

• Not to mention all of the things I let him borrow which are now lost...

  Que? Shouldn't that be coming back to you? Via friends and a decontamination period if needs be? I can't say I'd recommend drinking, but then I've always felt that if I feel like I really want a drink, that's when I shouldn't have one. I do come down on the side of taking refuge in routine. Go to work/study/whatever. Do the housework. Partly because it helps give you some hours in your day focused on something other than how you feel, and partly because it keeps misery from compounding by having the rest of your life go to hell in a handbasket.
• My technique is to date as many people as possible, as fast as possible. Random sex might occur, that's good, you have distractions, also good, and you're reminded that there are other fabulous people in the universe, all good. ...and did I mention the random sex?
• Uh...but don't try to fall in love so quickly. Rebound relationships can be very, very painful.
• Best case scenario: drinking does not change anything. Worst case scenario: drinking makes things a lot worse. Yeah, come on, people. I'm not a saint and I have a drink now and then, but someone is asking for serious advice here, and "go out and get smashed" is ass-poor advice. I second the people who say pick a distraction and/or physical exercise. I also found playing music softly helped me fall asleep, at a time when I was getting used to sleeping alone again.
• Ever heard of Usenet? If not: among zillions of others, there are groups like alt.angst for general angsting and griping, and alt.support.depression.crisis for (I bet you got this already) support for depressing crises. (I was going to mention the alt.romance newsgroups, but yikes, those have been taken over by assorted sex-related spam.) By the way, if you do start boinking somebody(-ies) you don't know well already, don't forget "safer sex". (Yes, I do give everybody that advice.) But yes, eventually one does get over it. Sometimes it feels like I've been dumped more times than I've gotten laid, often with better reasons for the former, so I oughta know.
• Glory holes always help.... Kidding! That sucks, Muffpub. I've always found in, times of need, the stickiest of the icky gives much reprieve.
• a decontamination period if needs be don't get me wrong, i'd rather let him keep it. i'm keeping some wonderful stuff of his too. i think we're both the personality type for which it's probably better to keep them. but do people actually do these 'decontamination' periods?
• "[S]omeone is asking for serious advice here, and "go out and get smashed" is ass-poor advice." Um, seriously, why? Assuming the person doesn't already have a clear-cut drinking problem, like a DUI record etc., what's so bad about getting smashed? There are times when remaining sober, alert and as clear-headed as possible were the worst things I could have done, simply because I'd be unable to stop thinking about it and/or her. My buddies would say stuff like "Come out tonight! There's a hot band playing!", even offer to pay my way, but NO, I had to follow "mature" advice and "resist depressants" and all that -- which sucked and benefitted me not at all. I'd also recommend exercise and so on too, but still. I don't mean sit alone in one's room with a bottle. I mean go out to a club with somebody or two. And leave the Glock at home.
• maybe i should go get high like i used to.
• What everyone else says, nurse yourself however best you can - for some people it's going out, for others it's sad music and posting a lot, for some it's just sleeping for a couple days. Treat yourself like you'd treat your best friend if it happened to her: be gentle, be outraged on your own behalf, and do whatever you want to do. Personally, I highly recommend packing up all the stuff you ever got from him, throw some of it away, put some of it in a special box to look at again in a year or two, but get it out of your immediate living space. And rearrange your bedroom. That helps a lot. And a word about revenge. You'll find you start to swing from grief to anger, and anger has always been a big help to me in getting through these things. However, anger leads to plotting, plotting can be really good for you, but it sometimes leads to deeds. Don't do anything revengeful unless you're really sure that it's something everyone involved can look back on and LAUGH at in 5 years. Then it will make you feel evil and better and wonderful and I recommend it. If, however, it isn't ever going to be funny, then don't do it. The best revenge, also, involves 2 people only: You and the victim. Take it from one who has genuinely been there. I will never regret the revenge that involved poison ivy, but I will always regret and be ashamed of the revenge that was semi-public.
• Drinking under such circumstances can lead to the following things: 1- Making a stupid late night visit/phone call to the ex that makes things worse. 2- Making a stupid late night visit/phone call to some person you have suddenly decided is just right for you that you have known for years. You have just ruined a friendship. 3- Making a stupid phone call to any friend or family member in the middle of the night and annoying them. 4- Getting so depressed when you are drunk that you become a blubbering fool and are a tremendous strain on your friends. 5- Drinking heavily when you feel you "deserve" it will increase the chances that you will drink far too much and increase the chances that go along with that (alcohol poisoning, dwi, vomiting, doing drugs you wouldn't otherwise do, sleeping with people you would not otherwise sleep with, etc.).
• By the album Copper Blue, by Sugar. Play it loud. Another good one is Richard & Linda Thompson's Shoot Out the Lights.
• Watch When We Were Kings. This is one of those moments when life has you on the ropes. It will pass. I've managed to get through a few breakups by pretending I'm Muhammad Ali. Also, hatred. It's probably not the healthiest thing, but I will usually go through a period of of time where I hate the other person. Just forget everything that made them worthwhile. It makes it a lot easier for me. I eventually get over it and find that I can be friends with them again.
• In times of sorrow, I don't agree with drinking and mindless sex.* And the rest of you are all like: Yea, sure, what else would you expect from your GramMa? Maybe it sounds Zen or something, but my advice is move away from the negative and toward the positive. I second, third, and fourth Shinything's good advice. Go to the Humane Society and walk the dogs or just hug them. Dogs will listen to all your sorrows. Cats too, and petting a kitty is a proven grief stopper. Clean cages. You'll be doing a wonderful thing and the smell will take your mind off things. Ride a bike or run. Go fast, far, and furious. Go till you're out of breath and sweating profusely. It's really hard to feel acute misery if you're wheezing and pooped. Put together a jigsaw puzzle in record time or memorize a poem. Work every problem in your mathbook while vowing that you'll get an A in math and spite the bastard. Do something intensely mental and mentally exhausting. If you feel like you can't stop thinking about him, then start making a list on a poster size piece of paper, and use a red magic marker. This list will consist of all the reasons why this jerk is not good enough for you, as well as all the bad habits/disgusting things about him. First on this list would be that he's a ratbag that didn't respect you enough to break up with you in a fair manner. Bees, as usual, speaks much wisdom, and Dread's advice is The Word. *(at least not at a time like this) Excessive use of liquor and mindless sex should be saved for the happy times. Whoot!
• MoFi(rc) makes breakups bearable

• Assuming the person doesn't already have a clear-cut drinking problem

  It could be argued that getting smashed in response to emotional problems is, in fact, a pretty good indication of a drinking problem.
• Thanks again for posting that, bone. love ya.
• *digesting all these responses* thanks everyone.
• Well, yeah, you're going to go thougn stages. I hope you can get through the first ones quickly, 'cause the anger stage means you're getting on with it. (Skip denial to whatever extent you can.) And, really, didn't he betray your trust? And, wasn't his method pretty egregious? It doesn't require pay back. but it does mean that you can see him in a new light. And then, maybe, you can accept that he let you feel some really wonderful emotions, which you wouldn't have known otherwise. And, they are YOUR emotions, so you will be able to contol them, or at least take responsibilty for them. Or, maybe celebrate them. So, you have to ultimately separate your feelings from your dependency. I'm still thankful for the happy emotions a couple of old lovers let me feel, all those years ago.
• di'm very fucking drunk righ tnow and ild just like to let you know that drinking is good if you want to keep your mind OFF of thigns i. e. at a party about something else. so its not that bad as long as you dont start a sobtfest or somethin.g right?? becasue iddint. i had a good time and i feel ok right now . but i'm VERY DRUNK so goodnight. -4:53AM my time.
• -4:53AM my time. I am guessing you will enjoy rereading that comment somewhere in the early afternoon tomorrow. Cheers, MuffPub, sleep well.
• Man, I love it when the monkeys rally 'round. Mfpb: How's the hangover this morning?
• delectable, GramMa. delectable.
• Much love, Mfpb 2 21!
• at first I thought to buy a kind of ink that's blue but now my mirror tracks the two lines of tears I keep scribbling for you
• The view is so much better From far away. You cannot see the cracks And hidden ruins Amidst the past. So wait, and wait, And wait once more. The distance will soon Dry the rain. And then we shall see again.
• you people are sweet.
• Trust me dude, it's all good. You'll find better.
• Saw him today, for the first time since our call (exactly one week ago to the hour), at the Starbucks where we first met. I was sitting with some friends at the tables inside and he walked in to buy a coffee. We made eye contact for about three seconds, and despite how miserable he's made me, I managed to return the small smile he gave me. I guess that means I'm doing ok.