January 20, 2005

Ingenious George' s Freezerburnt Secret ...Cool...and easy to make for free.

Find a nice ratty looking piece of tupperware with a tightsealing see-through but semi-opaque lid. Find another one that fits inside the first one with at least an inch of space to spare around the sides, but with as little space at the top as you can get away keeping in mind that there needs to be enough space that both lids will seal firmly, with about 1/8 inch of headroom. Download, size and print this to whatever dimension will fit the lid of the bigger container. Cut the image to size plus a quarter inch all round. Crumple it into a ball, then smooth it just enough so you can glue it to the inside of the lid with rubber cement, and here's the secret; pile the rubber cement onto the underside of the lid super gloppy, so there's random pools of it, then stick your paper down. Turn it so you are looking down at your lid, and behold the beauty of some gross unidentifiable food stuff topped with rubber cement gravy. Mmmmmmmm! Put your smaller container inside, and put something heavy like a rock or soupcan in it to hold it down, centre it, and pour whatever stewy chewy liquid food you have that most resembles the grossness on the lid in the space around it. Fill it up to the height of your inner container. Throw in freezer, and when it's frozen good and solid, voila! You got yourself a water and fire-resistent stash box for your stuff. Mind you, now all the other monkeys can come over and rob you blind. Make them talk to you through the door and serve them cookies through the mail slot.

  • I prefer the classic 'hollow book' myself... :) And hey, one of these, in these days of wireless cameras, would be quite useful. Why, I recall now my very first post here (lost in the great monkey deluge) was a Curious George regarding a dodgy-looking videocamera-detector gizmo.
  • Ah yessss...the shadowy world of diversion safes...I actually have two of them - we really do stick money in our bras. I walk home from gigs downtown all the time, often late-ish. I once stuck $1,200 bucks in there and actually got cash rash on my tit.
  • Come on, you secret simian stashmongers! Somebody make one and tell me how it went. Better yet, take pictures. Then we can paste them into Ye Manuscript Of Fyne And Most Wondrous Thyngs Made By Thee Clyyver Monkees. I can't spell in Old English for shit.
  • First place the cops look.
  • Oh yeah - if cops tossed the place, I'd be screwed no matter what I did. This is for your garden variety shithead who's kicked in your door to scoop whatever's on your shelves and in your drawers and get the hell out as fast as possible.
  • It's very clever, though, for sure.
  • Especially if your freezer looks like mine - mangy breaded fish fillets, mystery glop in frosty tupperware, rumpled gel packs, a few half empty frozen dim sum items and...I hate to admit this two dead fishies from way last summer that I haven't buried properly yet. I mean, I don't want to touch that shit, and it's mine.
  • Well, apart from the dead fish, it does sound rather like my freezer.
  • /mmhh... a new thread: show us the inside of your fridge... No, better not. Some things one just can't unsee.
  • I hide my money in rapidly devaluing internet stock. No one will ever find it.
  • Monkeyfilter:Get cash rash on your tit
  • Another diversion safe that's even easier to make.
  • That is beautiful...but dude...Imagine buddy's on his honeymoon, and being all crafty and such, brings it along, planning on using it to hide the loot from overzealous hotel staff. The blushing bride decides to unpack his suitcase while he's down at the bar fetching the champagne. Oh. Dear. My Puritan Beef Stew masterpiece is freezing up as we speak, and I'm going to try and con my friend into taking pictures. I am a fucking GOD!