January 18, 2005

The darkness of Kelsey Grammer. This thread on I Love Everything had me laughing my ass off. Lots of surreal speculation as to what goes on behind that mighty Grammer forehead.
posted by mandyman 19 years ago
  • Oh dear.
  • Me, sure, I can see Kelsey Grammar delicately slicing into your still-warm corpse with a silver, diamond-encrusted scalpel, and carving with terrifying precision from your flesh a three-dimensional diorama of the cast of Down Periscope recreating Poussin's "The Rape of the Sabine Women", all the time winking at an invisible John Lithgow and humming obscure Bach cantatas to himself with a look of dreamy serenity on his face. Yeah... that wouldn't surpise me in the least, if that happened. But David Hyde Pierce? I can see him doing it while you were still alive. And he'd be humming jazz.
  • Don't fuckin encourage them.
  • But David Hyde Pierce? I can see him doing it while you were still alive. And he'd be humming jazz. Did you know he's an accomplished church organist? I was amazed to hear him play; he's really quite good. And cute, in a strangely delicate and minimal way.
  • Umm... I think Kelsey Grammer has a few dark secrets, indeed... his life has been marked by tragedy and, as a result, occasional depression and substance abuse.
    - In 1968, his father was murdered in the Virgin Islands. - In 1975, his sister was raped and murdered after leaving a Red Lobster restaurant in Colorado Springs, Colorado. - In 1980, his twin half-brothers were killed in a shark attack.
    Geez, you guys... :/
  • ...covered in applesauce...
  • Also, his wife is the spokesmodel for Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness. Look it up, it's true.
  • My Dark and Infernal Master says that, if Mr. Grammer calls upon me, I'm to give him every assistance he requires. Last time he said that, I ended up rendering down two cops in a vat of hydrochloric for Miguel Ferrer.
  • And that, children, is how they make Fruit Roll-Ups.
  • Speaking of David Hyde Pierce... He starring in Spamalot on Broadway with Tim Curry and Hank Azaria... That's an evil combo if there ever was one. Except maybe Hank. He's just a pawn in all of the evil. Mmmmm...prawns....
  • aw, David Hyde Pierce isn't such a bad egg. he "maintained the highest standard of character and scholarship" in high school (see 1977).
  • Kelsey Grammer IS victoria's secret.
  • Is anyone surprised Pierce is an accomplished organist?
  • Heh heh, you said organist.
  • He's a small pianist.
  • Heh heh, you said pianist.
  • Alex -- I totally agree with you Pierce looks like a little china doll of a boy... in a good way. A sturdy girl such as myself could pick him up, throw him over my shoulder, and have a nice run. Did I say that out loud? That should probably be an *inside* thought...
  • Quiet, you! I used to be a church organist. (I'm not religious, but they had widened their search since organists are not that common.) I can think of dorkier jobs. ...if I try really hard. ...any time now. ...yeah.
  • Church organist AND church website admin? ;D
  • Now that's dork to the max.
  • Wait! Church organist/website admin AND comic book store clerk/weekend ufologist-slash-ghosthunter!