January 15, 2005

• One of my cats is extremely needy. She follows me around all day meowing like crazy. She keeps us up at night. She's meowing at me as I type this. She's not asking for affection, because she doesn't stop meowing at you if you pet her. I have determined that she's asking to be played with. She stops meowing if you break out the right cat toys. The problem is, she has a MUCH higher need for play-time than the two of us can possibly provide. Furthermore, she quickly gets bored of the same old toys, so a wide variety of equipment is necessary to keep this cat entertained. I am convinced that this cat is someone's perfect cat. She's quite a riot when she gets going, and she's very affectionate. I'm envisioning some retired person who would love to have a friend to play with all day, or someone who can provide her with an outside environment to explore. To me, the cat is obviously suffering from extreme boredom, and it doesn't seem fair to keep her bottled up. My wife agrees, but says she would feel a LOT of guilt if we gave her away. (My wife is very, very loyal.) She asked me to post here as a last resort, seeking: 1. Suggestions for better ways to deal with our cat or 2. Reassurance that we shouldn't feel guilty about giving her away What do you think?
• It does sound like she needs more stimulation that she is getting currently. I think that as long as you can find her a good, loving, home with people that understand her needs you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You would be catering to her best interests, after all. Otherwise, maybe look into automated toys? We have a weird plastic thing that spins a cat-fishing pole type toy around. Our cats love it. I believe PetCo carries them.
• This didn't start suddenly. Cats don't just start doing this. Playing with her may distract her from whatever is bothering her, but perhaps there's something more to it. Either way, obviously you can't deal with this cat, so you better find it a good home.
• We could buy automated toys, but since she tires of all her other toys fairly quickly, I'm not that confident in the automation route. Nostrildamus: She's been doing it since we got her. It's just that I'm now reaching the breaking point. :(
• One word: Ritalin.
• Some cats *are* crazy. That is for sure. You need to find a loving home for this one. I've been there, so don't take my comments as snarky. I know what it's like to be driven mad by these beasts.
• If the problem was with a child, instead of a cat, would you get rid of the child? I have 4 cats, and a couple have annoying habits. My husband and I thought of the same solution as you, but then we asked the same question I am asking you. We decided to keep the furballs around, and learn more about cats, to work out the problems. I recommed "The cat Owners Manual". If the cat is young, it should grow out of it in time. Hartz also sells a cat gym-fill of entertainment. I wish you well with your choice. Just remeber no-kill shelters are the way to go.
• How many other animals do you have?
• If the problem was with a child, instead of a cat, would you get rid of the child? First off, a cat is not the same thing as a human child, hippie. Second off, yes I would get rid of the child too. My suggestion is to get another cat to keep your bitch cat company. House cats can get quite sociable with one another after a few weeks.
• My brother had a cat like that, it wouldn't even let him sleep. He had a home-based business too, so he was home all day with the cat and it never ever stopped crying or left him alone for a second. He debated with himself for a long time over what was best for the cat, and eventually a friend of his offered to take the him as a "test" to see if he would get along with his other five cats. Amazingly, that was apparently just what the cat wanted. With other cats around, he plays with them and never bugs his new owner or cries. So, a happy ending for everybody.
• I have been around cats my whole life. I was explaining to my five year old this morning: Cats are ultimately very simple creatures. They have a lot built in features; For example, they are very good hunters, the most efficient pound for pound of any animal in current existence. Cats are trained. They behave how they do because of: instinct and environment. The instinct we have *some* control over but really, very little. Other behaviors are learned. For example, why does our cat like to jump up on the bed and lay down on my chest? He didn't used to do this but has learned: if I am in bed, and he comes up and calmly lays on my chest (a good distance from my face) I will pet him. If he is too close to my face, I push him away. If he isn't within reach of my arms, petting doesn't happen. So, over time, he learned the right thing to do to get petted. Also, cats behave strangely if there is something wrong with them. There are volumes of information on this. Like purring; A cat will purr when happy and also when in distress. So, it is possible: your cat is in distress. Playing is a distraction; Or, your cat is who it is and that cat meows. It happens. Cats have annoying behaviors. I don
• Another cat might definitely help. Also a book on cat behavior. If those fail, don't feel guilty about putting her up for adoption, it's better than all of you suffering.
• Thank you for the suggestions and opinions, everyone. For everyone's info: I do have another cat, allegedly her brother. He's very territorial, and they are constantly fighting. I get the feeling that she likes him, as she's always trying to cuddle with him, but this always results in some vicious biting from him. So it seems like our boy cat would also like to be the only cat... I'm afraid getting a third cat isn't an option, before anyone suggests that. ;)
• Has boy cat been neutered? Perhaps that might reduce his territorial tendencies. I think if a child or cat is truly unhappy in a household, it might be better all around for parents/owners to find a better household for them, if all efforts at compromise have failed. I know when I was younger, spending long periods of time in various relatives' homes made it easier for my mom and I to get along. I love her, and I'm sure she loves me, but being the people we are, we just make each other angry, bitter and miserable alot more than we make each other happy. /derail
• I would say the other cat is the problem. Some cats can't live together. One is dominant. The other is stress all the time. Moving the cat to another catless home could be the answer.
• I'm relatively certain, after 3 years, that the cat is meowing because she wants to play. I have seen quite a few linking behaviors. She'll come and meow at me, and if I stand up, she runs over to the toy basket and grabs a toy. Etc, etc. The boy cat is neutered, Yes. Just very dominant, jealous, and aggressive. The girl cat seems like she enjoys the company of other cats, so she'd probably do well in a multi-cat home where the other cats didn't hate her.
• Th fact that she wants to cuddle with the other cat is a good sign, but bad news for the boy cat. She needs a buddy; girl cats usually get along best with other girl cats. If you can't keep her separated from the boy, one of them needs to be put up for adoption. Their fighting is exacerbating her stress, which undoubtedly is making her needy behavior worse.
• 1) get rid of both of your cats. 2) get a dog. dogs are awesome!
• Ok, I recognise that I am going to get some sort of cheap shot from about when I posted in the past about peeing on a cat from some know it all (as recommended by a pet trainer BTW) to get him from peeing in my shoes after five times, but what you need to do is to give your cat so much attention that she becomes irritated by it.
• Cat's are awesome too.
• Presumably the cat in question has been spayed ... I didn't see anything specifically stating she had been, so the question did come up. Of course, beyond that, the cat may just be wacko. One of my mom's cats used to carry around a little stuffed brownie doll and howl piteously like it was her dead child. In the middle of the night. While I was sleeping. Creepy as hell the first time I heard it.
• Simple fact is, some cats are very social and LOVE humans and other cats, while others are not, hate other cats, and often only tolerate the humans that feed them. My cat is very anti-social, tries to kill other animals that enter the house, including my uncles Newfoundland, and is scared witless of any humans other than my family and one or two close, calm friends. It seems that you have two cats who are polar opposites. The girl won't be happy unless she has other cats to play with, and the boy won't be happy unless he is the only animal in the house. Either the girl moves to another home with other cats, or the boy moves and you get one or two more sociable cats who can entertain your girl and each other.
• Agropyron, that sounds like a cat I'd LIKE. And I'm betting that a lot of her behavior stems from her feelings about the other cat -- that she feels stressed and upset, and the play distracts her from those feelings. If I had room for a third cat and you lived near me, I'd take her, but I don't and you probably don't.
• if you can't get a third cat, get six more. than should do the trick. heh. *loves pets*
• I'd have 100 cats if I had a dedicated staff caring for them. :)
• Perhaps cat Prozac?
• I suppose buying a puppy for your cat is out of the question?
• We've decided we're buying he a pony, islander.
• Have you tried applying toothpaste to his genetalia area?