January 13, 2005
Ladies and Gentlemen and Cross-Gendered
I give you Angel Monkey.
The only thing I have to say is, the complete lack of self-awareness should prevent anyone from starting a band, but sadly, it creates bands. That's what's so great about it.
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From the biography section: "Using edgy progressions, pumping beets and a positive message..." Beets pumping what?
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pumping beets Maybe that's where the cross gender part comes in... any place, any time, any thing. I've heard rumors on the internets of people humping watermelons, but beet seems a little small to me. I've never been in an obscure band before so maybe I'm not used to tiny venues.
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Hmmm...watermelons...hm...vampire beets?
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beets are not hollow enough for pumping i think. this group apparently wanted to "expand their horizons" by "bringing their Christian music to the secular world." oh, so the secular world is split from the christian world. we live in different worlds???
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Yay! Does that mean we can have different governments too?
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pumping bees?
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"With influences like Audio Adrenaline, P.O.D., Newsboys and Good Charlotte they show influences of many great bands" So, then, why didn't they list any of the great bands?
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pumping bees? Not on your Nellie.
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"expand their horizons" by "bringing their Christian music to the secular world." Translate that on Babelfish, and you get: "expand their pocketbooks and their groupie fanbase" by "going pop and abandoning their Christian ideals."
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Hey guys and galls! i'll bet these people www.gemueseorchester.org/ know a thing or two about pumping beets. anyone ever seen a rhythem guitar?
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a sample of lyrics: You through away another one You through away another one You said it was just for fun While you were on the run um... does spelling count in bad rock 'n' roll?
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Hey guys, there's this website for a christian band on the internet. Let's belittle of them.
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whoops, let's belittle me. I meant "let's belittle them."
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Christian bands don't have to be shit.
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Hands up, who owned Stryper's "To Hell With the Devil" back in the day? *starts to raise hand, then snatches it back down* You're all LOSERS. And I don't think they're pumping INTO the beets, I think they're pumping the beets INTO something. Transitive beets...
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Tenacious: I think you just put me off veggies for a week.
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It's obvious that snide marketing is driving them to be proclaimed as 'Christian Rockers', which is just silly (as is most marketing). There are great spiritual acts out there who don't feel the need to so desperately prey on a fan base created to appease a bunch of strung-out-on-jesus parents, and they make much more honest music. Bad Brains were, essentially a gospel group, yet they never felt the need to sell themselves in such a shameless fashion.
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I think that deep in their hearts, Christian music fans are in need of something to fulfill their needs. Iknew a girl who loved Amy Grant one year, and the next year she was listening to Nirvana and smoking crack. And pumping beets.