January 22, 2004

Could Lesbians Destroy Your Mortgage? Daily Mail random headline generator.
posted by anonymous 20 years ago
  • I like the David Blunkett policy generator, too. Give Liberal Democrat voters a 'Citizenship Test', and then give them an on-the-spot fine. Disturbingly accurate.
  • Another Blunkett policy: Lock children up, and then detain them indefinitely under the Terrorism Act. And a wonderful mail headline: COULD PAEDOPHILES LEAD THE CONSERVATIVES ASTRAY? Man, those are almost perfect.
  • WILL TONY BLAIR GIVE BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY CANCER?
  • "WILL THE LEFT STRIP THE MIDDLE CLASS OF ALL DIGNITY?"
  • The first one I ever got was "Are Paedophiles Killing The Countryside?". And dammit, it's still my favourite. Will Alastair Campbell Infect The Countryside With AIDS? is good too, though. I feel extraordinarily full of bananas at this being posted - a mate of mine's been MonkeyFiltered... I'd have done it myself, exept I forgot. Can I just say instead that the guy who made this also cooks the finest hangover-curing fry-up in the entire western world? Can I? Thankyou.
  • "COULD CHANNEL 4 CHEAT THE MEMORY OF DIANA AGAIN?" "COULD TEENAGE SEX LEAD THE POLICE ASTRAY?" "COULD GAYS IMPREGNATE BRITISH JUSTICE?" It's could-could-could with never a naughty cancan.
  • COULD IMMIGRANTS KILL THE CHURCH? DOES TONY BLAIR DESTROY YOUR DAUGHTERS? Blair: (evil voice) Destroy their daughterrrss...... muahahhaahahaha!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Ok, I'm good.
  • COULD CHERIE BLAIR IMPREGNATE MICHAEL HOWARD? And the ultimate Blunkett policy: Deport everyone to Guantanamo Bay, and then detain them indefinitely under the Terrorism Act.