January 13, 2005

• The protagonist's challenges throughout the story are: 1) A seagull attack gave him Seagull Herpes, an incurable disease that will soon kill him. 2) The seagull attack also tore a bone within his calf in two. His best medicines are herbs and acupuncture, so the bone never fully heals, and it causes internal bleeding for him to walk. The story involves him running a lot. 3) He has to save his continent from a thing that is destroying it. A corporation has been selling an additive in forms like cigarettes that is not a virus, drug, or nano-machine. Nobody knows what it is, but the smell causes addiction. Withdrawal is fatal. The protagonist has few people willing to help and most have died. Quite.
• Curses! Foiled again! Just as I was about to post a link to a fantastic blog I just discovered, I see Wolof has beaten me to the punch! This stuff is too good to be fake.
• a few things: 1) via Metafilter I think a month or so ago 2) these are very funny, but; 3) I am a screenwriter, and Hollywood is just FULL of snarky people like this guy, who love to tell you "what you need to do to make it in this industry" based on their alleged insider knowledge. Interesting that his name is "manager guy" because if he is the one who actually has to read the query letters, "$7/hr intern guy" is probably far closer to reality and 4) he is perhaps violating copyright and certainly the implicit trust that when you submit your idea professionally, it wont be held up to public ridicule (deserving as it may be) He is certainly creating a legally questionable situation for his boss and will probably be fired with good cause when the boss finds out. and 5) Hollywood runs on the idea of "be polite to everyone because you never know who may make it." odds are one of these writers will hit it very big one day and "manager guy" may just need a favor from him...
• oh and 6) no my screenplay ideas are not this stupid, although anything can sound silly when condensed into a sentence: e.g. "An old rich guy really really loves his sled."
• Too right it's not fake - one of the worst ones I've ever read there is (wait for it) actually being made. It's about a poacher who gets trapped inside the body of koala bear because of an Aborigine curse and then is shipped, as a talking koala called Russell, to London Zoo. And to think, moving pictures once seemed like the dawning of a wonderful new age. Ha! The whole site's hysterically funny - and the comments are great as well...
• But Varsity Demon Cheerleader completely rocks, though. It should totally be made now. I'm thinking it could be Jena Malone's big breakout hit.
• drjimmy11: I think I saw it somewhere else, ie not on Mefi. Plus I was so sure it was a scam...
• not accusing you of stealing or anything, doesnt really matter to me actually, so why did I write that? Wanted to be like the other kids, I guess! I just remember seeing it on meFi I think and wishing someone would post it here so I could comment b/c I was dying to make the points I made above.
• Just for fun: "A farmboy from a desert planet runs away after a robot shows him a hologram of a princess. He must face an evil man in a black metal suit who appears to have a breathing problem. A tiny green 900 year old man teaches him a mysterious "force" that allows him to control others' minds and lift objects by telekinisis. He destroys two planet sized space stations, saves the universe, and falls in love with the princess (who he also saves from being chained to a giant gangster-slug), but fails to consumate the relationship, which is fortunate because she's his long-lost sister. Oh and the evil heavy-breathing man in the black suit turns out to be his father." Now who would ever buy such a silly idea?
• Yeah, but that movie does suck. *runs and hides*
• now that you put it that way...:)
• It's time for "Blog the Movie"..."Hey baby, hows about one more cheese sandwich for Daddy."
• actually, you can't violate copyright if somethin gis without intelligence. a lawyer told me once that if your stuff is really bad, it can't be copyrighted. which does not explain ed wood, but there you go.
• I assume that is a joke that lawyer told you. Any work whatsoever is implicitly copyrighted the minute you write it down, including personal or business correspondence. And anyone can pay $20 to register their script with the Writer's Guild, regardless of quality (although we arent talking about actual scripts here, just the ideas) While a lawsuit hardly seems in order here, Hollywood agencies/production companies are highly paranoid about being sued for stealing ideas sent to them, to the point where some return query letters with a letter from their legal department stating that no one has even read it (I imagine them wearing radiation suits and putting the letter into a return envelope with tongs whilst averting their eyes) So I dont think Intern-Guys bosses would take kindly to him posting people's ideas on the net, since their company could theoretically be held liable for their theft by anyone anywhere in the world...
• I wonder how many scripts incorporate a seagull attack. I'll ask my friend, who vets scripts. Wanna know the answer? Send me twenties!
• And anyone can pay $20 to register their script with the Writer's Guild Why not send yourself a copy by registered mail and leave it unopened? (Sounds cheaper is all.)
• I had seagull herpes once. It didn't really bother me, other than the feathers growing out of my lip and my uncontrollable urge to swoop down on outdoor food courts and scream at people to throw me french fries.
• Why not send yourself a copy by registered mail and leave it unopened? (Sounds cheaper is all.) a) that is an enduring urban myth but mainly b) Hollywood types like to see a WGA registration # before they touch anything. The Guild serves to try to resolve any dispute and will supposedly take the writer's side when he cries "theft!" (although they've been alleged to cave in to the studios from time to time)