December 29, 2004

Couple seeking donations to build their own hobbit-hole. Combining Lord of the Rings fandom, ambivalence about other human beings and bean-stockpiling survivalism for a furry-toed century.

This is my first post to Monkeyfilter, having met some very nice members, and as such have almost certainly done something apallingly wrong and will now be lightly toasted. So, apologies in advance for my many transgressions. For anyone who feels there are more pressing recipients of charity than the vast numbers of people currently suffering death, disease, hunger and homelessness, both in the wake of the tsunami and elsewhere, how about endowing a hobbit hole? This is actually quite a sweet idea, in many ways, although by "hobbit hole" they actually mean "geekbunker". However, there's a tiny submerged thread of misanthropy to the site that gives it that little bit of edge - that makes you wonder whether a dream worth having is a dream worth helping. Because our next-door neighbors on both sides came straight from Hell. They have this little girl that runs around incessantly, sounding like a 3 year old Goliath training for the Olympics. We are also quite familiar with their musical tastes, as we can hear each piece quite distinctly, especially in the early hours of each Saturday and Sunday morning. Even coffee begins to lose its flavor on five hours sleep after awhile. The silence, seclusion, and privacy of a Hobbit Hole would be a true dream come true. The next door neighbours have a child. Also, they play music late at the weekend. They don't fight, they don't discharge firearms, they don't sell crack. It is unclear whether the hobbits have spoken to their neighbours about the noise levels, but I like to imagine that they have not - that digging an enormous hole in the ground and moving into it is the most logical response they can muster to the whole ghastly concept of other people.

posted by tannhauser 19 years ago
  • Hmmmm...do I give that extra fifty bucks to the Red Cross for the tsunami relief, or should I help some wacko build a hobbit hole? Decisions, decisions...
  • Another hole in the internets?
  • "Between the two of us we have 2 Sony Clie PDA's, 2 Desktop computers, 3 Laptop computers, and about a dozen video game systems. Broadband Internet access will be a must, as will Digital Satellite HDTV, so we can continue to enjoy Buffy, Charmed, The Daily Show, and our DVD collection." Pay for your own damned house, you twits.
  • Oh, HELL no! You know what, if anyone wants to donate and you don't want to give it to the Red Cross, I will GLADLY take your money! I need a car that runs!!! So there!
  • Fun post. Welcome. Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to just buy a house? That's what we did when we finally got fed up with inconsiderate neighbors in our apartment building.
  • Web-beggars. Particularly unsympathetic web-beggars. At least the tiny plastic huts people give you an educational and funny toy for your trouble. Welcome, tannhauser.
  • Really. Charmed?
  • ...at least they each found a partner to match their own loopiness. 1. Move to another neighborhood. 2. If you want it that badly, sell your damn toys. I'm sorry, I'm doing that "common sense" thing again. I'm a little bitter that an assy attitude is dressed up in fannish trappings. It gives the non-jerk fans a bad name.
  • The other, more practical problem with this theory of theirs is that they're going to build it on Kent Island. I've been to Kent Island. It is flat, I mean really flat: there are no hills to build a hole into and the water table is about 2 feet below the ground. So. . . without the mother of all sump pumps, going constantly, I think they have chosen the wrong place on the planet to build their dream home. Either that, or they're actually extremely small people! Who could fit into a one and a half foot deep hole in the ground, like prairie dogs. MY neighborhood, on the other hand, would be ideal and you can send me money, and I promise to dig a hole with it. Okay, it might be a metaphorical hole, but still. . .
  • I have to say that the sidebar title for this thread is very funny. "It was a hobbit-hole, and that meant comfort. And psychosis." Cracked me up. I love that. Welcome, tannhauser. I see you're a Pom. Don't worry, I won't hold that against you :D
  • Yeah, that water table thing occurred to me, too... I had some experience with this myself building an underground structure in what I thought was otherwise a perfectly dry piece of land. I think they're better off fashioning something out of an above-ground berm. Otherwise.... why the stigma about online panhandling? I wonder if it's simply looks bad juxtaposed with the tsunami news. If they get donations, more power to them. That'll be one less McMansion built, at least.
  • Maybe I could at least pay the thousands needed for the gigantic circular-wooden door frames.
  • Shameless panhandling: I need a car. I have children, I'm poor, I live too far away to get anywhere without a car. Please, please help me! If you have anything to give, I will gladly take it. God Bless you.
  • If you help me build a hobbit hole, Darshon I'll let you live there rent free.
  • Um............ok.
  • Possibly the worst case of internet-begging that I've ever seen. Frikken azzholes. What's really annoying about jerk-offs like these is that some moronz will likely send them money. If I cared at all, I'd send them nasty emails pointing out that their incredible greed and self-indulgence couldn't possibly justify such disgusting pandering. Luckily, I don't.
  • How will they afford the forced perspective so that one of them can play Gandalf?
  • Good point - they'll need two sets of furniture, also, one oversized and one undersized, which they will have to swap constantly...