December 23, 2004
Hey, scrubber!
Expertly plucked eyebrows were raised when it was claimed that the modern British male had started behaving like a woman when it comes to personal grooming.
"One of the key differences between men and women is that women go in as optimists, hoping to appear and smell fantastic. Men go in with damage limitation in mind, hoping to avoid looking like they're sleeping rough - or the note from someone in human resources telling them they've become 'a problem in the office'. -- I'm typing this with moisturiser on.
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Insane.
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A men's magazine called Nuts? What next, a women's magazine called Nips? Oy. My wife's just happy when I use soap.
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Are we talking about British people, here? Cos I went to school/college in that godforsaken turd of an island, & I can tell you that among males, washing oneself regularly was seen as a sign of unmanliness to the point of being a poove. Plus it was highly expensive, thanks to Thatcher.
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Monkeyfilter: I'm typing this with moisturiser on. Monkeyfilter: My wife's just happy when I use soap. Wolof: that comment reminded me of Hud and was so very creepy.
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Excess body hair? That's a wee bit picky, IMHO.
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In the spirit of Withnail and I all I can say is... "Perfumed Ponce"
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The Brits? Thank heavens. I thought they were talking about my significant one. As they note, it is the over 55 group who are the worst. So it appears mostly as an element of what one grew up with, in your respective culture.
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over-55s...Their grooming history - based on a 1970s diet of Brut and bushy chest-hair... I thought my dad's bottle of Brut Cologne by Faberge looked cool on the bathroom counter - like how Mr. T might look if he was a cologne? - but I hated when he wore it, because it was always too strong for my nose, even at station wagon back seat distance in the car on the way to whatever cologne-worthy event we were attending.
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Excess body hair? That's a wee bit picky, IMHO. That depends on your definition of "excess". Bushy eyebrows? Not so bad. A tuft of chest hair? Pretty normal. But sometimes that island of manliness on your chest expands and connects with emerging continents in other hemispheres to produce a full body hair pangaea. Christ, I now have noticeable hair growing out of my nose...the outside of my nose. Ugh. And I foresee it all turning grey someday. Oh well, at least I'm not these guys (although they still have their pride).
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Actually, sos, I think it's called a "pack" with wolves...
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Men go in with damage limitation in mind, hoping to avoid looking like they're sleeping rough *Weeps with the sheer truth of it all, the tears cutting small channels through the moisturiser, and the sound of my sobs barely audible above the smell of my hair products*
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I haven't washed in a week I haven't shaved in months
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All that's left is to set yourself on fire, then.