December 23, 2004

• Where is the option for a large amount of coke & speed + booze? & Hookers. Huh?
• Definitely not 5...and 1 can probably wait. 3 sounds like a necessity, and so does 2 if you drive a lot. My advice would be to get professional help with 4 from your bank.
• 3 if you are actually going to run out of heat. 4 otherwise.
• Option FIVE is the equivalent, alas, of coke & speed & booze & hookers for the post married yet still with kids set to which I belong, Nostril, sigh. You know it's bad when motel room, six pack, cartoon channel and restaurant meal get your heart racing.
• send it to this guy... Every year I attend an awesome retreat, the retreat that brought me to Christ, Teen Week at Tuscarora Inn in Mt. Bethel PA. THis retreat is awesome, about 40 people get saved every year an it has an average attendance of about 350 campers. This year I convinced my very best friend in the world (with the exception of God Himself) Jason Gerstein to come with me. The catch? I have to pay for him to go. The money is due June 10th. I need $250 before then. I can almost guarantee that if Jason does go twards this? It will have an eternal impact on Jason and you will be doing a o this retreat, he will get saved and will make an eternal impact on his life. I already have a plan to raise some of the money however without a job, it may be hopeless. My parents don't have the money to give me to pay for him so it's up to me. Here is my plan so far: Dont eat lunch anymore (use all the lunch money my mom gives me for this) = $66 selling aol cds = $30 Total = $96 Which means, i still need $154, and I need it by June 10th. [Edited by Mighty Mutt] Soliciting of funds is not permitted. Please pray on behalf of Peter and Jason that they are able to come up with the remainder of the money no, wait, never mind...
• I'd go with #2 -- get tires -- but get inexpensive tires, leaving you with some $$$ to put towards #1 or #3. Best wishes for the holidays, mygothlaundry.
• i don't know where you are but i went through 16 tires in four years and ended up getting them replaced at goodyear for life (warranty) for well under $250 personally, i'd probably do 1 but that's why i got eye surgery because that wouldn't cover one. personally, i'd do which ever gave me enough to put the left over toward credit cards. but tis the season for spending and a little free spending is theraputic (i am chanting this to myself but haven't brought myself to do anything to much about it myself) so i say, do whatever leaves some left over to treat yourself to something, even if it is spending for someone or something else.
• You mean my money could be used to SAVE someone? For Jesus? Be still my heart. I'm gonna mail this away RIGHT NOW! Do you think Jesus would still love me if instead I spend the money on me and paste that kid's name on my upside down Jesus nightlight and maybe make a small sacrifice in front of it?
• ok, on reading i'm definitely going for part of 5 CARTOON CHANNEL! and a decent chemical shift send me postage and i'll send you a post holiday trinket, everyone needs random fun
• first off, congrats on the bonus! my advice is to take a part of it ($25-$50) and use it for something fun, a reward. Put the rest toward any of the other options (except 5). I second the idea that your bank may be able to help with 4 (consolidation loan). 1 if you're getting bad headaches or feeling ill from the change in RX. 2 if you depend on your vehicle to get to work, etc. 3 if you don't see another way you'll be able to afford oil before it runs out (might talk to the heating company about a payment plan or so).
• how about a new jesus nightlight and post a name on each: your church candles for boozy monkeys. Each person can send five bucks a name and we post it here and have a rotating fund so we can all see clear and drive safe I may need a heating oil fund in a month
• #2 if you drive to work, #1 otherwise. Driving is unsafe with bald tires, and if you have an automobile accident, you will be much worse off than you are already. Poor vision affects both driving and work. I'd prioritize both of those before #4. Once you can see and drive to work, you can work on paying off the debt. Heating oil, feh. Turn the thermo down to 55, wear a sweater, and eat hot soup.
• pray hard enough and No. 3 may mysteriously be solved. The story is told that after cleaning the Temple and removing the pagan chazzerai, when the Priests went to light the Holy Light, the Ner Tamid, they found just one jar of ritually pure oil, only enough to light the lamp for one day. To obtain more additional consecrated olive oil required eight days of pressing and refining the olives. However, the one container of oil burned for eight days and eight nights, a miracle said to be wrought by G-d's Presence. amen, etc.
• I'd recommend #4. Assuming you can put a reasonable dent in the principal, then the savings in the interest throughout the rest of the year might even equal the $250 in the first place. Get #4 under control, and you can reallocate the money you would be wasting on interest towards the other priority items. This message brought to you by your friend Suze Orman: Better Living Through General Motors
• The one thing on the list which is most likely to result in your death if left undone is the tires. So that's my vote.
• fucking A man, I was so happy about bonuses, but after finding out that one of my friends is getting a 40,000 dollar bonus, I feel like wiping my ass with whatever little shit I get. So, do like me! and wipe your ass with it! Or buy tires.
• Bear whores and cocaine. < /Norm McDonald>
• Yeah, I'm leaning towards tires too, what with the death thing and all. Whatever's left over I think should go for an eye exam, and I will trust the president to lower oil prices in a couple weeks, right? And ethylene, I will totally put you on my upside down jesus prayer list. $40,000 bonus. Yeah, okay - let's kill him. (with kindness, of course!)
• #2 if you drive to work, #1 otherwise. Driving is unsafe with bald tires, and if you have an automobile accident, you will be much worse off than you are already. Poor vision affects both driving and work. Seconded. As long as you can see well enough to drive more or less safely till you get paid again. If it were me I'd go for heating oil, but then I'm unemployed, I don't have a car, and my glasses are okay, so that's easy for me to say. In my younger days I was far more live-for-today hedonistic about things, but that might have something to do with how I got in my current situation. Do you have an electric space heater?
• I wouldn't bother with #4, unless the bonus could wipe out the debt entirely. Which I doubt. But stranger things have happened. I'll go along with the group. Tires are a safety thing, then vision. Mind you, if you don't get your vision fixed, you can probably save money on the hooker.
• 1. Get the eye exam and the contacts first. 2. Then, look in your local swap paper (or on craigslist or its many variants) for some new-to-you tires, or post an ad yourself proposing whatever you could barter for a new set and installation if you can't do it yourself. 3. If the oil runs out, set fire to your dwelling. That'll keep you warm for a while, and after the fire is out, you won't need to heat the place any more. 4. Credit card debt is for suckers. Just run up the bills and then change your identity. 5. Frivolity will not be tolerated. Put on your hair shirt and get back to the mandatory miseryfest.
• Nostril, I need to move where you live if you can get several different kinds of drugs PLUS hookers for $250 there.
• PLUS hookers You really don't want to see the hookers.
• Bear whores and cocaine. I am picturing Yogi Bear and Boo Boo in matching merry widows and powder-dusted snouts frolicking around Splash Mountain or whatever part of Disneyland the Country Bears live in. I like patita's advice to get yourself something small but fun first (if it's a thing rather than an experience, maybe you could get it at one of those after-Xmas sales?), and agree with the others about prioritizing vision/tires. Yay for bonuses!
• *snorts coffee out nose* I was wondering about the bear whores too! One of the things I got myself for Christmas, oddly enough, was a bear bell because there are actually a lot of bears here (western NC) and I hike a lot, and my mother is paranoid. If only I had known that they were available . . for a price. . .