December 17, 2004

• Well, after he gets out of hospital, he gets to sit in a nice, safe prison.
• What soldiers need to do is a set up a quiet "you shoot me, I shoot you" pact, like that final scene from Reservoir Dogs. It's win-win: if you're not responsible for shooting yourself, you get to go back home and you don't get time in the brig and a dishonorable discharge.
• I would just say I'm a homo'....ooops, i said homo.
• So, after a couple more interviews it was determined that the whole shooting incident was actually staged so that Mr. Roberts would not have to be deployed to Iraq. In other words, so far it's just a hunch by the big city cops? This thumbnail story is just begging for details.
• Here's another story on it. I feel so much for these guys. Iraq is pure hell.
• not really all that unusual. "By various estimates, as many as a million physically fit young men took calculated steps to make themselves ineligible for the draft during the Vietnam War by acting or dressing strangely, mutilating themselves, exaggerating ailments, claiming to be homosexual, going to graduate school, taking teaching jobs or filing appeals to avoid induction until they passed the maximum age of 26. Only 8,750 draft offenders were ever convicted.
• "You been cuttin' yerself, son?" - No sir! "You a faggot, son?" - No sir! "You in graduate school, son?" - Err ... Uh-huh. "THEN GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY ARMY!"
• Stuff like this isn't new; in fact it's a lot older than Vietnam. See the 2nd paragraph - my google fu is deserting me when this is the best I can do, but I swear up and down that I have heard there were a lot of incidences of this in WWI; in fact, I remember hearing it called "copping a blighty", since a blighty was an injury that was bad enough to get you home to hospital. Except I can't find any proof here & my military historian friend isn't answering his emails quickly enough - anyone have any better luck or knowledge?
• Fuck you, Warrior. Enough with the 'homo' comments, asshole. Too bad this kid didn't shoot Bush instead of himself.
• ... Hey, Coppermac, clam out. For what it's worth, there's little I hate more than "I wish X would die/be shot" comments on MoFi, not least because last time it happened, I got the phone calls.
• A proud blow struck for tolerance and civil, non-judgemental society, there, coppermac. On preview: I defer to the Bashi.
• Two cannibals are munching on a clown. One looks at the other and says: "Does this taste funny to you?"
• I feel so much for these guys. Iraq is pure hell. Actually Iraq is an entirely preventable moral and humanitarian disaster, a genocide by another name, and these troops are semi-unwilling implementors of the disaster. Let us not overdramatize things.
• Clam out? What does that mean? And as for my Bush comment, I'm only expressing that the world's most violent terrorist get the treatment he deserves. flashboy, why tolerate the intolerant?
• coppermac, as far as I know, Warrior is gay. So I don't see the problem. Clam out was an informal way of asking you to calm down and quit with the unwarranted namecalling. And "only" asking for someone to be shot isn't something I appreciate, regardless of who it is.
• Fuyu, is absolutely right. You choose your own damn battles, and before signing their life away, soldiers should at least read the damn contract: you are entering an army, not a beauty peageant with intentions of paying a full scholarship to the university of your choice for looking pretty. ....and who is this troll?
• Well, tracicle, I guess you know more about Warrior than I do. So far I've seen a few posts, two of which included words generally used to denigrate homosexuals. I stand by my Bush comment. He's demanded that thousands of others be killed, and turnabout is fair play.
• Rot in peace, coppermac.
• Go get murdered, goetter.
• Honestly, coppermac, I don't care what you think about Bush. I wish you'd just keep comments like your original one off MoFi. Like I said, I'm the one who hears about it when things turn to shit, not you. And I seriously think you owe Warrior an apology for calling him an asshole. It was unnecessary. If you disagree, maybe you need a break. Personal insults are getting far too common around here lately.
• The tone in this channel is way too hostile. Maybe it needs some dead kittens and puppies...
• Warrior gets no apology, tracicle. As I said, two out of the three comments I read from him/her included words generally used to denigrate homosexuals. No context was provided to allow us to determine whether the use of these terms was friendly or pejorative, though s/he had plenty of opportunity. And I still stand by my Bush comment.
• I stand by every moronic and insulting thing I've ever said and nothing will ever waver my steadfast soul so help me Gob.
• If I recall correctly, Warrior is himself gay.
• Gayer than a tree full of... you know.
• MonkeyFilter: more like MetaFilter every day.
• If I also remember correctly: 1. coppermac's a retired ex-cop, hence the nick. Cops judge quickly, as they must. A lifetime habit seems to have stuck. 2. His son is, gasp, a gay homosexual. /cartman 3. He fled the evil, intolerant United States to take up a new life in peaceful Canadia. 4. His posting habits are a matter of record. I wish I could get past his tone, because he offers a unique perspective. I'm sorry that I snarled.
• Gayer than a tree full of... you know. A tree full of gay people? For the record, I like coppermac a lot, and Warrior as well (even though I ragged on on him a little when he first joined). Can't we all just get along?
• No we can't just all get along. Why are you so bigoted against haters? Stop trying to convert us to your passionless way of life.
• ...full of monkeys. On N2O. (Neil Gaiman)
• I'm thinking about uprooting the dogwood in my side yard and planting a Gay Dude Tree. That way I get some good dance music outside my bathroom window while I shower in the morning. Plus one of them might sneak in and redecorate.
• fuyugare: I'm insulted by your use of the word "hater". How can I tell from the context of your statement if you are a hate-empowered person or not. Please refrain from using such lanquage. I would prefer if from now on you could use the term "poophead." Thank you. I feel like I started something that has been blown out of proportion in that other thread. aiyaiyai.
• Poopheadism is a serious medical condition, Zanshin, it's not something to be taken lightly or used inaccurately like that. My cousin is an acute poophead from birth, and it's no laughing matter. Kindly restrict yourself to "wazzock" or "cockbiscuit". Please, think of the poopheads.
• Excuse me, but my great-grandmother worked 23 years in a cockbiscuit factory and as a direct descendant of a cockbiscuiteer, I would prefer that you use the term "fuck stick" instead. Thank you.
• There will be no cockbiscuits without my official input.
• I take offense to the use of the term "fuck stick". My ancestors were skinny screwdriver operators and have had to endure a long legacy of being called that. I beg of you, for my dead ancestor's sake, change it to "muffin biters". In the name of all that is screwable.
• YOU STICK FUCKS
• Oddly enough, MY ancestors were muffin biters. They hunted puffins on the coast of Labrador, with buttered saltines as bait. Given the miserable weather on the north shore, 'puffin baiters' became 'muffin biters' under the influence of innumerable interminable colds. I however, take no offence. I have empowered the term. Viva muffin biters, all!
• I know a couple of "muffin' biters" myself. Terrible habit if you ask me.
• Judge ye not until ye have sunk thou teeth into thine cupcakes.
• It's the filling that gets you hooked.
• Oh dear dear me... just when I thought the worst was over on the other thread.... Kittens! Kittens Kittens Kittens! A bit late, I'm sorry.
• Surprised no one's gotten around to posting the obligatory joke about how this kid is probably setting the stage for a run for president later in his life....
• THAT'S IT I'M OUTTA HERE YOU PUFFLUVIN' STRUMPFUGGETS!!!!!
• I am deeply offended by the word 'kitten'. Back in high school the 'KATZ' gang would gather up us meek ailurophobes after school, lock us in the back shack, and subject us to pussy after hellish pussy. These are the sort of sick fucks we have to put up with, people who hate us simply because we prefer to be with animals of our own polarity. As if we threaten their way of life with our very existence. I have forgiven them, but I will continue to challenge those who cavalierly throw around hateful terms like 'kitten' or 'felix catus' as if we didn't exist or didn't matter. Please, if you have a feeling bone in your body, use some other term like 'demonic hellbeast' of 'snuffles', or just don't talk about them at all. On preview: YOU DID NOT JUST SAY 'STRUMPFUGGETS'!!!!! How could you, Zanshin? How could you?!
• HoMoFi! Soon to be Ho-Ho-HoHoMoFi!
• BOT: This happens often enough in peace time. There's likely more instances of it occuring while we are in war.
• I object to fuyugare's use of the term "sick fucks" as a perjorative. Haven't we struggled against the "sex is bad" perspective that is our legacy from the Puritans for long enough? fuyugare's insensitivity only serves to marginalize those of us that, after a lifetime of being called "perverted," "depraved," "stalker" or "that kid who was caught beating off in the locker room in eighth grade," have finally managed to find fulfillment in sex. And sex with other people, at that. fuyugare, I demand your immediate apology. You douchebag.
• In the days before modern vaginal hygiene, my ancestors plyed the noble, if now forgotten, Celtic art of minge-rinsing the length and breadth of the Emerald Isle. Despite offering such a sterling service to Ireland's discomfited womenfolk, their ungrateful spawn haunted my schooldays with such cruel words as you choose to air here "the_bone" (if I may resort to sacre-quotes). Think just a little before resorting to such hurtful hatespeech. Cock-knocker.
• One of my earlier childhood memories is of falling off of a playground toy while my brother was at soccer practice. I smashed my penis (fortunately, the only scars I bear from this episode are psychic), and then went over to my parent's loudly and pathetically exclaiming, "I cut my penis." I was greeted with laughter from all of the adults present. So, you can obviously see how your unthinking use of that term (I can't even bring myself to type it) could hurt someone who had been subjected to the knockery of their cock and the attendant shame. You rectal weasel.
• Could you all stop with this idle chit-chat and meaningless blather and HELP ME GET THIS FUCKING WEASEL OUT OF MY ARSE ALREADY. You insensitive gash wranglers.
• You know, not all of us were raised with fancy big city-manners, and not all of us married women with normal genitalia. So my wife suffers from vaginal twitching and pelvic spasms coupled with the occasional beige discharge, what of it? So I had to train with the rodeo for six months before I could successfully consummate my marriage, what business is that of yours, sir? Can you not comprehend why your callousness offends me? You inbred corpse-fucker.
• I am shocked and awed.
• I AM ocked and shawed!!!
• I am rocked and thawed.
• I am mocked and pawed.
• I defrocked God.
• I talk to cod.
• I cock you Rod.
• I was going to be mad, but then I made the mistake of reading the rest of this thread. I, too, like coppermac's comments and generally agree with them, but I can only hope that you lighten up a little on this particular issue, coppermac, or at the very least, stop attacking other members personally because they use language that you don't like. Now, back to the insanity.
• I'm still menopausal. What is it with this sex obsession today? I might as well go walk around the house in a merry widow. Sick pricks.
• What's a merry widow? I've tried Googling it, but I just get loads of pics of women in black or period costume.
• It's an expression for a black bustier, with the garters etc. Usually with whalebone for upper lift of bosom. Oh, and laces to tie oneself in to the desired shape. /actually I don't have one and wouldn't be wearing anything that reshapes like that anyway.
• I cock you Rod?
• Right here.
• Thanks, dxlifer. Gee, I think I used to have one of those....
• Alnedra - I hope you didn't wear it with leather pants. Fredericks of Hollywood has some other suggestions.
• the bone: Har Har Har Har Har! thank you
• path, nice :) Yes, I had one of those, but not black. And no I don't wear leather pants, but I wore it with black lacy stockings. Love garters, hate trouser-style stockings.
• So my wife suffers from vaginal twitching and pelvic spasms coupled with the occasional beige discharge, what of it? So I had to train with the rodeo for six months before I could successfully consummate my marriage, what business is that of yours, sir? Can you not comprehend why your callousness offends me? Thanks, mct, my keyboard is now ruined!
• BTW, I am seriously amazed that we started with "Soldier shoots himself to avoid going back to Iraq", and end with the above. Quite an entertaining thread. Thanks, Warrior.
• I don't mind snarling, goetter. I just snarl back. And what a lovely display of unoriginal, adolescent humour you display in point 3 of your post. I'll lighten up, tracicle, when the denigration of non-heterosexuals stops. Warrior had plenty of opportunity to explain her/himself, and chose not to. How odd that s/he considers me to be the troll, in light of her/his posts. Challenging apparent bigotry is something our societies needs.
• *shakes head*
• All anger comes from fear. Address your fear and you'll stop being angry. I have no idea what the fuck I'm saying
• We hate what we fear the most. This grudge-banging is just silliness and a waste of web-time that could be used for more quaint and interesting things.
• Challenging apparent bigotry is something our societies needs. I couldn't agree more, but in this particular community, it's better to politely question rather than to confront. Also, I think the end-result is a positive.
• coppermac, I know this thread and the argument should have died long ago, and I know you really do have the best of intentions, but I believe your last comment sheds light on the issue that people are having with your comments: "Warrior had plenty of opportunity to explain her/himself" So... are all gay commenters required to identify themselves as so? Are all straight commenters required? Is the problem here the fact that someone surprised you? Also late, but I'll second the comment about valiant and well-intending straight folks defending the gays... I know it's a tightrope, but if you go too far with this, you will offend a lot of gay people this way. It may not seem fair, but that's the way it is.
• can I just say you guys are fucking crazy?...LOL. Anyway. Coppermac, I'm still a little curious as to why you're so angry but fine, I'll "explain" myself...*clears throat* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiim teh gggggaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee... And homo' is not a pejorative term in my worldview...because guess what? *looks whimsically* yes, you guessed correctly. ****************** Hey, Tracicle, sorry for the mess. ^_^ .
• I'll lighten up, tracicle, when the denigration of non-heterosexuals stops. The denigration never fucking happened outside of your own thick head.
• Monkeyfilter: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiim teh gggggaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee
• Gay zombies are scary.
• aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiim teh gggggaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee *scratches head* So is warrior gay or gaye or what not?
• He's Marvin Gaye?
• Are you saying he needs sexual healing, tracicle? ARE YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE HE'S A HOMOSEXUAL?!!?!1! You disgust me.
• Well, I'm not gay, but my Boyfriend is. (just a little bit tho)
• So to summarize: Although some cockbiscuits and poopheads intentionally fell out of the Gay Dude Tree to avoid military service, a black bustier-wearing Marvin Gaye bit muffins and used a fuck stick to cure vaginal twitching and pelvic spasms, which also had the pleasant side effect of defrocking Warrior’s kitten gods. I think our work here is done.
• The British actually spell it "gheye."
• to cure vaginal twitching and pelvic spasms yeah, well I don't hold much faith in him unless he cures hot flashes and night sweats as well. /and the, ahem, bitchiness. /and the sexual healing? Shall I sing out 'tonight's - the night' to my darlin'?
• Just out of curiousity, I googled and found only this real gheye of note. But he may be appreciative of cockpunch, it appears.
• Excuse me, my aunt used to work in a steel foundry, where conditions were often almost intolerable. She would occasionally remove pieces of clothing to escape from the oppressive heat, giving her the nickname "Ms. Hot Flashes". Pursued by this heinous name her entire life, I eventually found her hung by her own brassiere, naked as the day she was born. The phrase "Hot flashes" often brings back unbearable memories, and I would prefer it if you replaced it with the term "homo". Thankyou.
• Stop shaking your head, goetter. The rattling noise is irritating. Name That Itch: in the thread from which all this stemmed, I challenged the derogatory use of the words by anyone several times. Warrior, who made the initial post, went on to add in the highly informative 'lol' as a response. Then this thread pops up, and s/he decides to toss it out again. That was what inspired the harsh words. spectrusery: No, no-one is required to identify him- or herself as anything. However, when someone posts on a forum like this and uses derogatory terms to describe people, s/he is going to be challenged. At that point it is in the person's best interests to state something along the lines of "Hey, this is me, I was not attacking anyone." Thanks for explaining, Warrior. I wish you'd done so in the original thread, but these things happen. Being that I come from a very homophobic (and sexist and racist) bit of real estate, I learned early on to stand up to bigots. Now that I live in a more tolerant and accepting society, I still try to fight the good fight. Mr. Knickerbocker: as tracicle said, clam out.
• Someone has to police the internet. And by God you're just the man for the job. Agent Mac shall provide virtue. And steer our thoughts towards purity Godspeed sir. But look out for all them homos.Theyll getcha