December 17, 2004

Shoot the head, kill the ghoul! Guy in the next cubicle looking a little more pale and slack-jawed than usual? Maybe you should check out some Some Zombie Survival Guides. Important things you need to know, like: Zombies have limited offensive capability: Mainly they bite, like a lil' sissy boy. That's a close range weapon with a range of about three inches square. Don't let them get that close. Refuse slow dances. Don't be taken in by the old 'gee your hair smells terrific' routine. You'll be fine. Of course, maybe you'll want to run some simulations to know what you're up against.
posted by Spooky 20 years ago
  • We loves us some zombies here at the monkeyfilter, don't we? Ok, which do we like best: old school shuffling undead, or newfangled fast-moving braineaters? For me, while I enjoy yelling "brains!" and "send more cops!" as much as the next guy, for my walking dead buck it's still the slowly swarming legions of Romero's rotting shufflers that tweaks my hindbrain's flight-or-fight light.
  • I like the quick ones. That way I can pretend I'm playing tag.
  • I like the slow ones. That way I can pretend I might have a chance.
  • I like the post-nuclear apocalypse zombies. They drive cool hot rods.
  • Thanks for the simulator link. That one was lost in the blackout, and I grieved the loss on long winter evenings. Of course we loves them! What's not to love? Personally, I gotta go for the farmhouse with the spectacular view of the shuffling corpse-ridden graveyard. There's a certain charm to an old Victorian-style home with a dining-room table nailed over the windows. Not to mention the catatonic blonde on the couch. I actually checked the guide in the last link out of my local library and perused it -- it's surprisingly well done. I kept waiting for the author to get all cutesy-poo, but he really did write a straightforward and thorough guide. Recommended.
  • I liked the quick zombies in Ruyhei Kitamura's Versus. They're much more entertaining than the usual kind of slow shuffling zombies. Sure, the slow ones look more menacing, but in the end I feel that they aren't as entertaining... Mind you, I haven't seen particularly many zombie flicks, so the other fast-moving ones may be rather boring compared to those in the film I mentioned.
  • And let us not forget to give a nod to the rather voracious, sometimes quick, British variety (caution: Flash site). If you haven't already, I highly recommend a viewing.
  • Don't GET me talking about zombies again! I'll have to post more pictures! And, fast zombies are more scary... I could never figure out how anyone in the original "Night of the Living Dead" could be slow enough to actually get caught by those stumbling undead! i figured if they were that dumb they needed to be eaten in order to clean up the gene pool!
  • It's not the speed of the zombie that makes the slow one's scary - it's a combination of their 'deadness', that slack inhuman shamble; their numbers, the idea that you can shake off one of two but there are always more and more; and their inexorableness - they don't stop, they don't sleep, they don't run, they just. keep. coming. Forever. Until they've got you. The fast ones surely do get the adrenaline going - you see those zombies in the movie you were in coming at you at flat-out full sprint? that's fever pitch, baby. But the slow ones, they mesmerize you, like swaying cobras. They eat away at your subconcious as well as your flesh. With fast zombies, you are too busy to think - they get you, it's over quick. With slow ones, you can't help but think about what's going to happen to you if you make a mistake. You see them coming, and coming, and you have time to *think* about it. That's worse.
  • I don't think Fes is going to sleep well tonight! Somebody send him a kitten..
  • darn... zombie kitten I was hoping that google image search would come up empty, but then does ANY google search come up empty???
  • Fes, it like falling from a great height as opposed to being slammed in the head from behind by that spiky globe from Phantasm. And never do a google image search for "eel" with safe search off. *snickers as I wonder how many monkeys start tapping away*
  • I can't see zombies any more without spelling the word wrong in my head: zmobie, or similar. Thanks, Kingdom of Loathing.