December 12, 2004

• I just got in from walking the three dogs of the me'n'mothninja household, and frankly, yes: it's getting to be a thrice-daily set of social appointments around which the entire neighbourhood appears to rotate. If I go out with only two of them, total strangers will come up and ask where the third is. If I have to rush past places to get home, I get complaints the next time I pass. Hell, if the smallest and most enthusiastic doesn't get enough time to be skritched and cooed over by half the women in the street, I get looks like I'm beating an orphan with a stick. It's getting a bit out of hand, to be honest. They're greyhounds, and I'm very tall myself. If I'm wearing a suit when I take them out, nine times out of ten, we'll be stopped for photographs by Japanese tourists. The little buggers have even started to throw poses.
• What beautiful dogs! Never encountered a greyhound that was not amiable and gentle. Though they can be a bit reserved initially, I regard that as a plus with larger dogs.
• I feel both of your pain. I feel like a pied piper every time I walk Aspen, my 8y/o yellow lab (sorry no pictures). Front doors open and small children come running screaming "Asprin, Asprin!". Its awful cute, but I wish the adults in my neighborhood didn't think I named my dog after an over the counter drug. Then there are the obvious looks of disappointment when I show up at the houses of my friends and family without Aspen in tow. Whats really been bothering me lately is that suddenly my dog is being invited to "play dates" left and right. I love my dog and I'm all for him socializing with other dogs, but when my dog is getting more dates than I am somethings gotta give.
• My little dog Steve (No pics yet, though a friend of mine just got a digital camera) is too nervous around people who aren't me to really be popular around the neighborhood. He was abused by his former owners (I'm sure -- he has too many odd behaviors not to have been), so he's scared of people he doesn't know. Since he's so wee, though, little girls want to give him kisses. It's tough to explain to them why they can't.
• Meredithea: Wondering how long you've had Steve--ten to one, with your TLC and kindness, and the assistance of a gentle, slow-moving little girl, you could resocialize your buddy into the type of neighborhood guffin that will cause you as much aggro as the popular pups listed above.
• Danger: wonderful beastie!
• Danger: wonderful beastie!
• My girlfriend Jena and I are on the opposite side of this equation. We live in a no-pets apartment, but we're both very much dog people. We're the ones that always stop you in the middle of your walks with no concern for your time as long as we get our slobbery doggy kisses. You should see us at a dog beach; we're like the old childless couple in the park, looking at the children on the playground and squealing, "Oh, aren't they just precious!" Oh, and Danger, your dogs are gorgeous! When we buy our house or condo or whatever, we're getting greyhounds, no two ways about it.
• I'm afraid to get a dog if this is the case. As it is, my two-year-old has more social outings and invitations than I do. If we get a dog, I'll spend all day RSVPing on its and my son's behalf, and driving them to and from events, waiting patiently at the curb.
• My old girl (fourteen in February) is a hundred-pound pitbull lookalike, and when I lived in the ghetto she certainly did get more attention and offers than I. "Hey, lady! Do you breed that bitch?" In San Francisco, I took her with me to parties, where she was invited and accepted. In West Hollywood, people either run screaming (no shit; she's that scary looking to the undog'd) or bend down to accept her kisses. No-one here has invited me up because of her, tho. Not yet.
• goofyfoot: The most affectionate dog I ever met was a Staffy pitbull bitch at the local ASPCA. She was the most adorable sweetheart you'd ever meet, and, sadly, she'd probably never have been adopted.
• BlueHorse: I've had him since last March. He's gotten a *lot* better since I've had him: he and I have really bonded, and he also loves my dad and my ex. He tolerates my friends now, too, instead of trembling head-to-toe and growling. We're still working on 1) Not barking like a maniac when anyone knocks at the door and 2) Not barking like a maniac when we meet people on our walk. I'm trying to get him to distinguish between genuine threats and friends, and it's a little hard. I'm sure he'll get it in time, though!
• ...Actually, I'm going home for Christmas in a few days (yay, 24 hours of driving!), and I'm worried it'll be a struggle getting Steve back home after the holidays! When I took Steve to visit my family over the summer, my dad offered to "watch" Steve for me until Christmas, to "help me get more work done on my dissertation." So much for my dad only liking big dogs :)
• You know, this whole "we closely resemble our pets" thing has got to come down too. I am not blond, I do not wear eyeshadow and one of my ears does not fashionably fold over. The only comment that came up when this topic was raised was that "they both suck up to women." Fine. I heard that he got overly excited and caused some fracus at the partay. Crap. The blowback will be "When can we see that dawg again? He's sooo bad... I havent figured out the picture-post thing, so think sexy dingo-pitty. No, not me..whatever.. Oh yah, I saw a pug/pitty cross yesterday, ugly little sausage. You have dirty minds.
• I have a fish, and he can't overcome the logistical difficulties.
• Fes, you should get your fish to read Goats.
• Your fish sounds like quite the little quitter. Maybe time for Teen Fish Bootcamp?
• Actually, Fes, you must remember, your fish will get no invitations unless you are willing to invite others. If it's a young fish, schedule a playdate with other likely youngsters. Remember not to discriminate by species. Slime eels and lung fish can be friends, too. You may want to reconsider sharks and rambunctious adolescent whales, however, depending on the size of your fish bowl. If your fish is an older, matronly type, perhaps a refined afternoon tea is in order. Be careful to check the temperature of the tea prior to pouring. You wouldn't want to poach your guests. You may want to offer sugar, but cream is not necessary, and lemon is considered shocking. Suit the guest list to the personality and age of your fish. Don't forget to have snacks on hand when entertaining. Pepperidge Farms Goldf cookies are always good.