December 10, 2004

• One possibility is chore lists. I know, I know, you're not twelve, you don't need a chore list, but it does help. Everybody rotates a night so that he or she is in charge of cleaning up the kitchen for that night. Doesn't matter whose mess it is, you gotta clean it up that night. If you don't, you get called out on the carpet. In my experience, when you're stuck cleaning up other people's messes, it makes you think about how much shit you're dropping around the place.
• Dishes on a chore wheel don't work. One roomie made once invited people for dinner when he wasn't on dish duty. Dishes came off the next day. One roommate who neglected to do his dishes wound up with a pile of his unwashed dishes in front of his door. It was effective as long as he was bringing friends and dates over, but when he wasn't...at least once it got to the point that we had to remove some dishes and cutlery to wash and use ourselves. But he was outnumbered 5-1, so there was some moral suasion. (Make that 4-1, since another roomie didn't wash dishes either, but he had his own, and kept the dirty ones in his room.) But if you're outnumbered, it's just easier to move.
• Just go fucking postal at them. They'll talk about you behind your back, but I bet the messy gets are doing that already. Or move.
• I was once the only female in a house full of males. *shudder* I started packing up the dirty dishes in cardboard boxes and storing them until the questions started. When things again deteriorated, I'd start this all over again.
• In my experience, multiple roommates = messy kitchen, no exceptions. One person has to take the responsibilty to keep the kitchen clean, otherwise you'll always have roaches and flies. Whoever is bothered by it most, does the cleaning. It sucks but it's true. Maybe you could pay less rent, for keeping the kitchen clean.
• pee in their drinks. actually i've had that problem before, and it does suck. Sorry i don't know the answer except to move. 1 bedrooms rule.
• Have you considered the obvious firearm related solution?
• Rather than doing a rotating schedule, you could also keep a sign up sheet that says "who did the dishes?" When you do the dishes, you simply put your initials and the date. This method is flexible to allow for when you're simply too busy to help out with chores, but it's also a visual reminder of who's picking up the slack and who is not. Also, I'd suggest that you all discuss dishes together. It'll be a no-fun meeting, but for some reason when you confront multiple roomies individually, they think they're the only one and either feel singled out and bad or like "everyone else" will clean up for them.
• ... I got this idea from some friends. They put a really funny picture at the top of their list. That way, when company came over they inevitably all looked at it. 1)It was cute and 2) Now everyone in the whole world knows who's doing dishes and who's not
• For the first time in atound 7 weeks I _finally_ have time to visit my beloved monkeys..* I'm with dxlifer, though Koko's is a good option too that I've tried and succeeded with. I boutgh one of those big airtight storage containers with wheels and kept 1 set of cutlery and plates for myself, anything else that was on the sink longer than overnight went into the tub )post rinsing, though not washed properly). They thought I was crazy until they discovered the mice. Funnily enough, the kitchen was close to spotless after that. (*Note to selfd: no mofiing when half cut.)
• On post: Wish i'd thought of *that* meredithea!
• "It [cleans its dishes from the sink] or it gets the hose again." Usually I just let the dishes pile up until someone has to do them. If there's something obviously offensive -- rotten food, bones, etc. -- I'll clean it off, but I'll still throw the dish back into the sink. I have a very low tolerance for filth, but an even lower tolerance for cleaning up others' messes. I'm one of the people who really doesn't mind washing his own dishes as soon as he's done with them. Sometimes I'll even move dirty dishes out of the sink, wash my own, and put the dirty ones back in. That message gets across pretty quickly.
• (That's not to say I won't do others' dishes if they've left them sitting out of something other than sloth. I'm not a total jerk.)
• Move. Seriously, unless you are married to your roommates or your place, the nuisance is so totally not worth it.
• The best thing to do is to get as many roommates on your side as possible. Nothing like some good peer pressure. We used to have regular monthly meetings during which we aired any grievances, which helped (side note: In these meetings, we avoided everyone yelling/talking at once by designating an object such as a stapler, baseball bat, etc. as an object of power. If you were holding the object, you could talk. If you didn't have it, you couldn't say shit. It made those meetings much more civil and people paid attention). Um....where was I? Oh, messiness. One thing is that many messy people will always be messy no matter what technique you try. It's just their nature. However, try not to be an enabler by constantly cleaning up their mess.Yes, I made that mistake with my fiance and now I must clean up after her forever and ever. Fucked for life! Yay! Summary: I'm no help to you. Sorry. Moving along now.
• Move, they are not going to change......
• My experience is that dishes that get left in the sink are dishes that get broken. Not a threat, just a warning. A warning that needs to happen a few times before it takes hold.
• Shut up! I'm holding the Talking Bong, so you shut up!
• I agree with Name That Itch and HuronBob. People who can let dishes sit in the sink for days are not the same species as people who can't. No amount of cajoling, coaxing, threatening can change one to the other. So, somebody has to move. Sorry.
• You "move out" people are certainly no Henry Higgins-es. (Even though you're certainly right.)
• mct: We tried that, but the meetings never seemed to end. Huh. Ponderous.
• Yeah, move out or get a pump-action shotgun. Those are the only two solutions, I'm afraid.
• Move. You will be glad you did.
• We've had mice. They didn't leave a lasting impression. Thanks for the dish suggestions. I've combined them into a multi-part solution: I'm going to take all my dishes, pots, etc, clean them when I'm done, and keep them in a box in my room. This way, I'll always have stuff to use. I've lived on my own and I have everything I need. This means I won't be able to use the dishwasher, but because I won't be dealing with other people's shit it won't seem as bad. I'm going to get another box, and just put other people's shit in it, and just put people's shit in it when I have to use the sink and it's in my way. I'll keep the box in the corner of the kitchen where it's out of my way. Someone'll notice the box when they need a fucking bowl. Now for the trash. Someone's been taking the trash bags out of the bin when they're full, but they leave them in the kitchen, where they leak and grow flies. They stay in there on garbage day unless I take them out myself. I'm going to put a trash can right outside the front door, to make it really easy to take the bags outside, and so everyone looks at it every time they enter or leave the house. And I sent a snarky email. I couldn't help myself.
• The second offense merits summary execution. Hide the corpse well. Try to get a couple of extra months rent beforehand.
• Any possibility that you could hire out the dishwashing to a third party, paid out of the collective rent?
• Outsource your diswashing to a wash-centre in New Delhi. Your shareholders will thank you.
• I would have a meeting. Talk about the issue. The chances are that everyone will be in some agreement at the meeting. It is their follow-up actions that become the problem. Ideally, come up with three categories (one for each roommate). Trash and dishes are the two obvious ones. Everyone pays a fifty dollar cleaning deposit. You do this in writing. At the end of the month, the other two vote on the third's performance. Assuming it was fine, person gets fifty back and puts fifty into the next month's fund. If it was not fine, fifty gets split among other two, and person puts in new fifty for next month. Ideally, no one loses any money and the place stays clean. If not, then you get extra money for picking up someone else's mess. The hope behind my idea is twofold: 1 - People are motivated by money; and 2 - People think that signing something will bind them to performing.
• I think your plan is sound, Smallish Bear, but I think you should hold a meeting before taking action. At least give everyone a chance to suggest a solution and do their part. Then, when they revert back to their old ways, start putting their dirty dishes in boxes. Otherwise you'll come off as passive-aggressive.
• I agree with Koko -- I *suuuuuck* at confrontation, but it's better to do that then come off as arbitrary or passive-agressive. If you set forth a system with obvious and agreed upon duties and consequences, it's easier to either a) abide by or b) be justified when you dole out consequences.
• Dxlifer: Love you babe! You always do the koolest stuff--and bet you're older than Sarah, as cardboard predates tupperware. Advance to the tupperware--would cut down on bugs and mice. Meeting first, tupperware for dishes next. You can still use the dishwasher for larger loads. Or get own tupperware to keep days worth in to make a larger load (I hate dishes) Put garbage in alternating bedrooms--let them live with it--blank look--"I didn't have time to take it out for you, so I figured you'd want to remember it when YOU had time." Get another garbage can just for YOU so they can't pull the shit of "It's your garbage can, too" That way you can use little plastic grocery bags and dump every time you leave the place. Clothes/crap in living room=cardboard box outside door of room for knowns, one next to couch for unknowns. Dump their crap in it periodically in anysort of jumbled order. "You want it, fetch it outta the box, or put it away." Picking it up once or twice a week is easier than going crazy with mess. Just make sure ANY mess you make is in your own personal space--no more flowing into common area. Eventually, they'll either move out because you're such a compulsive passive-agressive shit or throw you out. ;) Seriously, I hates mess, too. Whose name is on lease? Get new roommates--stress neat in ad, interview first--at their old place. Hey, Sarah, bet you're low on potassium from missing us--have a nanar or two
• I ilke Bernockle's suggestion. How I've worked it in similar situations (thankfully few, since I prefer living with actual adult-type people) is to have each inmate choose a chore. Frinstance, I hate cleaning the bathroom. Someone else got that duty on a permanent basis. I took on the kitchen, because I like it clean, and got tired of resenting the mess and the mess-makers. Someone else got garbage and vaccuuming detail. But really, your situation sounds wretched. Move. Ain't worth it, living with pigs.
• I once lived in a university student house with six other people and one sink. Each person had a labeled shelf in the cupboard with their dihes in it - we asked people pretty much stick with the minimum; a couple plates, bowls, mugs and glasses - and we had a communal bin of pots and pans. You knew exactly who wasn't doing their dishes because people knew who belonged to what, and if dirty pots and pans piled up, I'd take them and fling them off the back porch into the middle of the back yard. A few times of not being able to make breakfast until you put on clothes, shoes, and went out into the sodden grass to retrieve the frying pan, and then wash it, made you either start washing them after you used them, or kill whoever wasn't. And yes, I was called the Dish Nazi.
• I have spent more time living with roommates than I care to contemplate. In my experience, no method or plan is worth it. If, by some amazing act of grace, you manage to trick/cajole/badger/manipulate your roommates into cleaning up after themselves, you will feel reduced by the effort, and they will resent you for it. This resentment will pop out when you least expect it, and will make your living situation even worse. All is not hopeless. Employ two strategies: 1. Compartmentalize your existence from theirs as much as possible. Realize that their filth does not reflect on you as a person. Keep your things separate and clean. Decide what filth you absolutely cannot live with - garbage bags leaking juice on the kitchen floor, e.g. - and clean it up yourself, all the time, without mentioning it to your roommates or secretly resenting them for their filthiness. It's just who they are, and nothing will change that. 2. Start saving money and seeking other living conditions. Be sure to seek out roommates with roughly the same level of innate tidiness as yourself, or try and make the leap to living alone. Your situation sucks, but hang in there. Nothing is permanent, not even horrible roommates!
• I agree...ultimately not worth the stress...I really started hating that house and everyone in it after awhile. Run Bambi, run!
• BlueHorse: Thanks for the bananas :o) I used to put the dishes in broke-student-approved cardboard boxes until the local mice found the box a very attractive place to call home. The plastic tubs (40L or so) are lots easier to roll out of the way, and harder for mice to chew through. I still think rinsing before boxing is a good idea, as it cuts down on the growth when you have feral flatmates (the kind who eat cereal out of the box when they can't find a bowl or just make toast straight on the bench using fingers for spreading toppings - I moved out fairly quickly after witnessing that). Also, plastic tubs with wheels are great for putting things into when you move out - especially heavier fragile stuff.
• Merlin put a good idea up on 43 Folders for dealing with roommates' dirty dishes: The One-Fork Rule (third bullet point).
• I have considered the one fork rule. I live by myself, but as my own roommate, I am disgusted by myself. I seriously dont see why I need to even own more than one plate, fork, or spoon. There is no benefit to having to wash 20 forks at once rather than just one... On the off chance that I have a date, I will take her out to dinner anyway. And if I have friends over we'll probably get a pizza or something...