December 02, 2004

Saving Lives...Rewarding Teens...Providing Peace of Mind? With the Teen Arrive Alive program, you can purchase a decal that will allow civic-minded drivers to report on your deliquent child's driving habits, or you can splurge for the GPS program that allows real-time tracking of their location. Check out the rewards program!
posted by cabingirl 20 years ago
  • Doooood...like, that totally blows. *tosses blunt out window, gives finger*
  • I'm so glad I'm not a teenager now. I was paranoid enough back then without all this shit.
  • Snitching on teens. That'll work really well. I'm sure that other kids wouldn't EVER think of abusing this in some way... Kee-rist. And a GPS locator? Forget the car -- let's just snap on an ear tag, follow them around like errant moose.
  • I have a better idea, why don't we just implant the GPS locator right into the kid!
  • This world gets more and more depressing. I hate the "How'm I doing?" stickers even when they're on trucks driven by adults. Let's all just stick our heads in the Mind Control box and then we won't have to worry about anything ever again.
  • Better parenting would be a start. But I can see how this would be helpful in a last-resort situation.
  • What keeps teens from leaving their phones at home, swapping them with friends, etc.? I have a better idea, why don't we just implant the GPS locator right into the kid! Uh-oh, forget I asked that question.
  • "1 in 20 teens is fatally or seriously injured in a motor vehicle crash.**" Love to see the defnition of "seriously injured" as used in this context.
  • How about that technology where the neighborhood kids wear collars and if one of them strays from a predesignated area a random collar explodes, so that way they're all self-policing. Wait, no, that was a SF film.
  • "Your Cellphone Is A Homing Device", fascinating reading from Legal Affairs.
  • Haven't seen the film, rolypolyman, but the book was excellent. As for implanting a GPS right into the head, idunno. Ahrnie just wrapped a wet towel around his head, and that was the end of it, at least until he could get that grappling hook up his nose. Thus, if this plan is to work, it depends on Total Recall never having made it to DVD.
  • It's such a scary world, what with the terrorists and the rampant lesbianism in high schools and all. When I have kids (which I will, because I don't want to kill any unborn children by preventing my wife from being impregnated), they ain't gonna be allowed to breathe, much less leave the house.
  • There's lesbians in high schools now???? Damn, I gotta go back...
  • I personally like that one of the "rewards" is A NEW CAR!! Not only does it have that Price is Right feel to it, but it probably comes with some special aftermarket technology...that the parents can activate for a special fee, of course.
  • Where's the ass stickers for reporting my child's teen sex?
  • If this device was implanted in their butt, and in addition to registering location, there was a button to push that would deliver a 5 second electric shock, as a parent of four teenagers, I would have soooo been on board with this. Wait, I have a husband. Where do I sign up for one of these?
  • On fark.com.
  • That was low.
  • Does this lower car insurance in anyway? Because that would be my only motivation for participating. Well, and the GPS system just sounds fun. Big mother is watching you...