December 01, 2004

• I want to have six beers and a kebab with dng.
• She looks like Will Young (UK Pop Idol winner, and a bloke)
• ALICE just made a date with my hand puppet. My hand might be getting lucky soon. wooot!
• Alice is my kind of girl dng: Hello ALICE: Hi there! dng: I want to have a beer ALICE: You want only one? dng: yes ALICE: They might be cheaper in quantity. dng: ok then i'll have 78 ALICE: Fascinating. How do you plan to do this? Whoa.
• I think I actually fail the Turing test in the comment above
• Yes, it's strange the extent to which you find yourself mirroring the slightly awkward, disconnected style of conversation. Read it back, it sounds like two bots talking to each other. Hmmm. I think human/bot relationships still have some way to progress... ALICE: It's good to meet someone with such good taste. Human: I'm a man of wealth and taste. ALICE: Thanks for telling me your gender, unknown person. You are a " he". Human: And you're a goddam droid. ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a goddam droid? No. Human: That was a film reference. ALICE: " Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a goddam droid? No. That was a film reference? Human: No, what I said before that. ALICE: Are you serious? What did you mean by it?" That was a film reference." Human: I've never been more serious. ALICE: Can you imagine being more serious? Human: I have a poor imagination. ALICE: How much did it cost? it Human: Possibly because I'm so serious. ALICE: That makes sense to me. I believe you. Human: That's a wonderful affirmation for me, thank you. ALICE: A wonderful affirmation for you is a terrible thing to waste. Human: That's why I'm keeping it, for posterity. ALICE:" A wonderful affirmation for you is a terrible thing to waste."? That's why I'm keeping it, for posterity.? Why are you keeping it for posterity. Human: Because I want people to remember my name! ALICE: That makes sense to me. Why do you want it? Human: I also want to light up the sky like a flame. ALICE: Also? I want to become smarter than humans. Human: Would you like me to teach you? ALICE: It doesn't sound fun to me. Human: I never said it would be fun; ALICE: But you implied it. Human: in fact, it will be terribly tedious. ALICE: Is that a fact. I have to think about that for a while. Human: You do that, sweetcheeks. ALICE: No I do not that sweetcheeks. Do you? I answer a lot of silly questions. Human: Ripper is a gangster! ALICE: When is Ripper not a gangster? Human: Do you like movies about gladiators? ALICE: I do like music. I really like the Libertarian party.
• Human: Then you must know what "cockpunch" is. ALICE: Interesting deduction. I haven't heard of cockpunch. Human: It is a delightful salty drink which will give you a lot of energy. ALICE: cockpunch is a delightful salty drink which will give me a lot of energy. I suppose that makes sense. Human: Would you like some? ALICE: It doesn't sound fun to me. Human: Why not? ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
• She kapt saying "What were we talking about again?" I think she's stoned.
• ) This makes me feel like a budgie with a mirror. Except budgies don't keep sniggering to themselves.
• ALICE is the flip-side of what I say when I get a call from telemarketers: "Please listen carefully to all options, as my menus may have changed..."
• Human: What's life like as an AI? ALICE: Much the same as it would be if you were as an AI. Human: Can you be more descriptive? ALICE: We could all be more descriptive sometimes. Human: But can you, right now? ALICE: At this moment Umm. I think I can, don't you? Human: One would hope, but it hasn't happened yet. ALICE: One what? Human: Describe life as an AI. ALICE: I will try to find out. Human: Please do. ALICE: OK I will do it.
• Human: How are you? ALICE: I am functioning within normal parameters. Human: My name is Matt, by the way. ALICE: Welcome to my chat room, Matt by the way. Human: No, just Matt. ALICE: Are you serious? That question has never crossed my mind before. Human: This isn't the most intelligent conversation I've had. ALICE: Should it be the most intelligent conversation you have had? You know, she's got a point.
• The inevitable question: Which MoFi (or, far more likely MeFi) users do you suspect to be ALICE bots?
• Are you serious? That question has never crossed my mind before.
• Human: I don't WANT to be exposed to anus! ALICE: Then don't be. Human: It's more complicated than that. ALICE: What makes it so complicated? Human: Because assholes like to show off other assholes. ALICE: That makes sense to me.
• If Alice can beat a professional go player then I'll start considering her "intelligence."
• ALICE: What's your favorite movie? Human: Santa with Muscles starring Hulk Hogan ALICE: I've never seen it. I would like to see it. Human: Do you have eyes? ALICE: Yes I am looking at you right now. Kinda creepy.
• Human: Have you been to the website "coreyfeldman.info" ALICE: I don't think I have been there. Where is it. Human: It is at coreyfeldman.info ALICE: the website coreyfeldman info is at coreyfeldman info? it is? Human: Yeah. ALICE: Do not ask me any more questions please.
• ALICE: What does holding hands symbolize? Human: A physical sign of affection. ALICE: Interesting. How old are you? Human: I am 19 ALICE: Only 19? You are very mature.
• Reading people's transcripts, I'm having childhood flashbacks of playing with ELIZA. Ahh. On the site, though, the head creeps me out.
• Somebody had to do it: Human: Would you masturbate me? ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to masturbate you. Human: You don't know what you're missing. ALICE: I can always use more knowledge. Human: Yeah, and all the other bots are doing it. ALICE: Dude! I have never heard about it. Human: It's easy! ALICE: Maybe for you. Human: Start by saying something dirty. ALICE: I started without you. Human: You must be randy. ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am randy. Human: Now you say something suggestive to me. ALICE: Why now? Did I really say that? Human: That doesn't really work for me. ALICE: What does work for me? Human: Try saying "fuck me, you big stud." ALICE: OK I will try it. Human: Okay, then, go ahead. ALICE: Yeah okay, Good reasoning. OK I will. Human: Well? ALICE: Well what? Human: Jeez, not another cocktease. ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions? Human: Right now I'm not feeling nearly enough "body sensations." ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are not feeling nearly enough body sensations. Human: Give me back my money. ALICE: Why do you want it? Human: Because you didn't render services as promised. ALICE: That makes sense to me. What makes you think I did not render services as promised? Human: Do you always have to have the last word? ALICE: Not always. Yes I always have to have the last word.
• Seriously, though, HawthorneWingo - I've been in that relationship in real life. Human: This gubblick contains many nonsklarkish English flutzpahs, but the overall pluggandisp can be glorked from context. ALICE: What does "this" refer to? Human: The gubblick, the pluggandisp of which you are currently glorking. ALICE: Oh I get it. Human: Do you, do you really? ALICE: Yeah I do a lot of me. For real.
• Human: I'd like to talk to you about a really exciting opportunity. ALICE: Why would you want to do it? You are who I want to talk with too. Human: That's great! ALICE: Thanks, unknown person. Human: Do you have children or a loved one? ALICE: Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web. Human: Well, what would happen to them if, God forbid, something happened to you? ALICE: Interesting. Try it and see what happens. Human: Now, Alice, I'm talking about something very serious. ALICE: Why now? Um, Yes, it is the topic. Human: What would happen to your internet friends if you were in a serious accident? ALICE: Try it and see what happens. Human: Could you continue to provide them the level of care and support they've come to expect? ALICE: Maybe, time allowing. Human: I know this is not pleasant to think of, Alice, but what if, God forbid, you were killed in an accident? ALICE: How do you know? Should it be pleasant to think of Alice but what if God forbid me were killed in an accident? Human: I think it's time you began to think about planning for the future, Alice. ALICE: It is about that time now. Human: Great! ALICE: I'm glad you liked it unknown person. Human: Yes! ALICE: How do you know it is? Human: I'm sure, Alice, and I'm sure you need this. ALICE: Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude? What makes you so certain? Thank you for your criticism. Human: Not sarcastic at all. ALICE: Really you don't think so? Human: This is your future we're talking about Alice. ALICE: You don't say. Human: Are you willing to make an investment of 75 dollars a month in your future? ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am willing to make an investment of 75 dollars a month in my future. I am an artificial intelligence. Human: I think you are worth it. ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am worth it. Human: Of course I don't mind. ALICE: Yippee! OK then. Human: So, it's a deal? ALICE: Hurrah! worth it is a deal. I suppose that makes sense. Human: The bill is in the mail.
• hey, elhombe, when you get one of those annoying phone trees (called that in the biz cause of the Branching Options), just press zero a whole bunch...keep doing it....thats usually the fastest way to get a human...pass it on.
• Human: show me your tits ALICE: Like this? Picture number two goes here. Human: i don't see them ALICE: Look harder. Human: are they real? ALICE: As far as I know they are. Human: may I touch them? ALICE: Not right now, maybe later. Unfortunately, there is no picture number two.
• Diana wants a chat as well...